The Parasites That Live in The Cracks

16. Cursed Blessing

Jamie

  I stared up at the dirty grey ceiling, imagining all the rock that must be up there. Just suspended above me, for hundreds of years… How easily it could crack and crumble down on top of me. Who would care, or even notice? Not my parents. Not the guards. Not any other prisoners. Sabrina would have, but she was gone. 

  It struck me exactly how alone and wretched I was. For so many years I’d just sat here, feeling sorry for myself and telling myself how I deserved to be here. All alone. No purpose. Nothing. Until she came, and a ray of light hit me. But just like that, she and the light was gone. And the darkness was more consuming than before. 

  I didn’t look up as the door opened until the scream met my ears. I jumped to my feet and stared, as they drug her in. Clean and fresh as the day she got here, maybe even more so. And alive. Sobbing and limp, not fighting or even walking. 

  “Bree!” I called out, hope and happiness welling up inside me, but she didn’t respond.  She didn’t look up or open her eyes. Was she ignoring me? Or did she have serious brain damage? The lightness inside me evaporated as quickly as it’d come, at the thought that maybe she was different. 

  Or the worse thought… That maybe she wouldn’t remember anything, and would just think this is life. Or if she remembered, and wanted to die. 

  Or that she’d be angry at me for saving her. 

  I pushed that thought away as she was placed in her cell, screaming again. Ear piercing, heart-piercing screams. 

  I reached through the bars, trying to grab her hand. She was too far away, but just barely… I pushed farther, feeling the cold metal pressing painfully against my shoulder. But I made it, holding onto Bree’s hand like a lifeline. 

  I sat like that for hours, until I lost track of how long it had been since she got back. The metal bars seemed to be biting me, but I couldn’t let go. It was like admitting that I murdered my brother, once you did it the thing felt too real. Letting go of Bree’s hand was too much like letting her go, letting her die. 

  I knew I was selfish to have saved her life. Maybe even a bad person. I’d just prolonged the inevitable death she had waiting here, and for what? Because I was selfish. I didn’t want her to be gone, I wanted someone who would care and remember if the ceiling came down on me. 

  “I’m so sorry Sabrina…” I said, my voice coming out hoarse and scratching at the inside of my throat. “I’m sorry I saved you, and that you ended up here at all. This is the worst place on earth, and I’m so selfish to have made you endure more of this. I just… I couldn’t lose you. You’re the first person I’ve met in so, so long who isn’t insane… Who I can talk to. I-I’m just sorry. I know I’m a horrible person. I’ll try to make it right, and I’ll get you out of here, someday.” I didn’t know if she could hear me or not, but I had to say it. 

  After a while, she rolled over and her hand was gone. I sat back, ignoring the way my shoulder ached. She was back. I couldn’t believe it, she’d lived. I was overjoyed and devastated at the same time.