War Girl Anna

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Anna undressed and scrubbed her entire body with a wet cloth at the sink in the kitchenette of her room, as if rubbing her skin raw could eradicate T the devil from her life and her memory.

She wished she could take a real shower and cleanse herself of Doctor Tretter’s lingering stench, but this late at night the communal showers in the dormitory were already closed.

She hated Doctor Tretter with every fiber of her being, but there was at least one thing she had to give him credit for: he always took precautions not to impregnate her. Probably not out of consideration for her, but to avoid the scandal for him. Just the thought of bearing the devil’s child sucked all the energy from her bones, and she had to hold onto the sink in an attempt not to crumple to the floor. Her delicate body convulsed fiercely for several moments before she found her control again.

She slipped into her nightgown and then sank into the only chair with a cup of hot tea and a heavy sigh. Deliberately shutting her mind down to all unpleasant thoughts, she surveyed the small room she called her own. It had a single bed in the far corner, a small side table with a lamp, an open wardrobe area, and a chest of drawers. A threadbare rug occupied the middle of the space, along with the chair she sat on and a metal tray she used as a makeshift table. The kitchenette consisted of a tiny hotplate, a kettle, and a sink.

Nurses at the camp didn’t have need of a real kitchen. Since they were expected to take their meals in the canteen, they didn’t even receive ration cards.

Anna wrapped her hands around the hot cup, glancing around the sparsely furnished room and longing for the day when living here would be merely a sad memory. As accommodations went, it was sparse. But each night she returned to it from her horrific work, thinking it was paradise on earth.

A place where she could block out what lay beyond the door. Death. Sickness. Humiliation. Terror. Pain. Where intolerable cruelties had become the norm.

Her glance fell on the phone on her nightstand. Lifting the receiver, she placed a call to her home in Berlin, where her mother and her older sister Ursula lived. Ursula had been the epitome of the good girl, never once getting into hot water during her entire childhood and adolescence.

Anna still couldn’t fathom how much her sister had changed in the past year. After her husband had died, she – being a prison guard at Plötzensee – had let an escaped British airman run away. I wonder how he’s doing? Is he still alive?

“Ursula Hermann,” her sister answered. Anna’s heart jumped with relief at hearing a friendly voice. She pictured Ursula with her long, wavy blonde hair and the sky-blue eyes whose color she shared with Anna and their younger brother, Richard.

“It’s me,” Anna said, hesitating for a moment, tears pooling in her eyes. “How are you?”

“Anna, darling, don’t ask me how I am…how are you?”

Anna took a shuddery breath and then felt the tears begin to roll down her cheeks. “I…I’ve been better.”

“Is…you know…is he still visiting?” Ursula’s voice was a mere whisper.

“Almost every day. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I feel so dirty,” Anna said with a sob.

“Shh. Anna, isn’t there anything you can do?”

“You know, when Elisabeth told me about her job here, I never once believed a word of it. I thought she was exaggerating to make herself more interesting.” Anna remembered how Elisabeth had first come to the hospital in Berlin where Anna worked. They’d become friends and Elisabeth had confided to Anna under the pledge of secrecy why she had requested a transfer from Ravensbrück to a normal hospital.

Elisabeth had been lured into becoming a camp nurse by the comparatively stellar pay, and the special perks like extra days off, leather boots, and a warm winter coat – things normal citizens fought hard to obtain. But the sweet girl hadn’t been able to stomach the abominable things she’d witnessed in the camp.

“Can’t you ask for a transfer like she did?” Ursula asked.

“And risk T’s wrath?” Anna heard a distant roar in the line and added for good measure, “Besides, I’m thankful for the opportunity to learn as much as I can while helping the Reich to rid herself of our enemies.”

“I can sympathize.” Ursula picked up on Anna’s code. “My work at Plötzensee prison is so important for the war effort. I wish I could do more to help. But some days I feel overwhelmed.” Ursula’s voice conveyed so much misery that Anna felt guilty for burdening her sister with her own problems.

“How is Mutter?” Anna changed the topic, drying the remainder of her tears.

“Despondent. She’s all but given up hope for Richard. Since the news that his unit was annihilated in Minsk, there’s been no further word. Neither to confirm his death, nor that he’s still alive.”

“Did you tell her about T…?” Anna asked.

“God forbid, of course not. Do you really think I would tell our mother that…?”

Of course Anna hadn’t thought Ursula would bring up such a delicate topic with Mutter, but their mother was very intuitive where her children were concerned. It wouldn’t be the first time that she cornered one of her children with assumptions and coerced them into telling the truth.

“She’s not asking either,” Ursula said, finishing Anna’s thought.

“I wish we could give her some good news. Like that the war has ended and Richard and Vater will come home soon.”

“Actually, there is good news,” Ursula said.

“Tell.”

“Aunt Lydia is eligible to receive the Cross of Honor of the German Mother.” Aunt Lydia was Mutter’s youngest sister. At seventeen, she’d married the son of a farmer and moved with him to rural Bavaria. Since then, almost every year without fail, she’d given birth to another child. The youngest one, a girl called Rosa, was born last fall.

“That is good news for her. It will raise her appreciation amongst the leaders of the district,” Anna said carefully. After what happened to Lotte, the entire family had feared repercussions on Lydia and her children. But the fact that her husband – albeit at the front – was well connected and esteemed in the farmer’s community had saved her.

“Yes. Lydia called Mutter to let her know that she’ll be awarded the Second Class Silver Cross for mothers with six or seven children in a formal ceremony planned on Mother’s Day this May. She has invited us to visit,” Ursula said and gave an almost inaudible sigh.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to travel to Upper Bavaria and visit Lydia and our cousins? For me, I could use a few days off from work.” And from T the devil.

“I was thinking the same. It’s much safer in the country with all those bombings going on in Berlin,” Ursula said.

“Since when are you so concerned about your safety? Haven’t you told me once and again how important your work as a prison guard is?” And not in the way a wiretapper might think.

“You are right, Anna. I should keep up my spirits and not fail our country by being disheartened.”

Anna almost giggled at the way Ursula formed her sentence. Most phone calls were tapped and it was never a good idea to oppose Führer and Fatherland. The silly mood made her remember that not all was bleak in her life. “Oh, there’s another bit of good news. I was invited to a soirée at Professor Scherer’s.”

“Professor Scherer? Should I know him?” Ursula asked.

Anna sighed. “He’s only the most respected scientist Germany has in the areas of medicine and genetics.”

“Anna, darling, that’s wonderful,” Ursula said with a voice that showed she didn’t quite get what was so amazing about this invitation. “I love talking to you, sister, but I have to work the night shift and being late is not an option.”

“I know. Take care of yourself. Please?”

“I will, and you do the same. Try to ask for a few days off and come to visit. Mutter would be delighted to see you.”

“Goodnight.” Anna pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at the gray wall, trying not to think about her disgraceful work, or the man who forced himself on her.