The ninth chapter
926 Words
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Looking back throughout my early days in life, maybe, I was about nine. As young as that age, I have maybe practically already been gay not that I know of or have put any meaning to it or knew what I felt. I just knew, when I grew up and how I rationalised this time how I must have felt back then when I have been guided by a female. She was about 20 at the time I think, I believed I have made a friend, she took me back to her place of stay, her room; I was at an excursion with other kids and counselors around, and she was too, a stranger from the campsite.
She was doing her hair, while I was watching her. Didn"t know what was the stick with decoration that she put on her head have to do with her fixing her hair.
She parted her hair, took a strand of her one hand and twirl it around and the other, putting all of her hair up to place and I remember she looked decent enough for me to think and say to myself that she is pretty looking. Then, she realized shortly after she hadn"t had it on tightly, she took it out and noticed that the fancy decoration on her stick stuff broke and now it lost its value, I supposedly not know this. It can still be used though.
She payed attention to me, looking I didn"t even know when she was hairstyling herself cos she set me aside and asked me to stay on the side for she was to fix herself and arrange her stuff while she have been staying in the room assigned to them for in about three days now.
So then, she smiled and gave me her stick; she told me to keep it to myself or throw it away, if I want to. And I told her no, I will keep it to myself forever. I did kept it to this day. I wanted to keep it as a memory of meeting her that badly. I slid it onto my pocket that moment she hand it over to me. Then after, everything what she"s doing that I could not understand quite well why she goes around so much and takes stuff and move it into another place; now being older I knew. Then, she grabbed my wrist and said that it was time for me to go and that she"ll take me back to the grounds where she met me and I waved goodbye to her parents that that was with her in her excursion. I had so much fun thinking I didn"t want for it to end but I am so glad that I have this piece of wooden stick as a gift from her and I smiled.
That"s what brought me back to this memory after I"ve had found it and thought why I had a stick on a case. When I was touching my stuff from when I was younger that I havent really moved so much and looked up on.
Reminiscing this early vivid memory that I have of my childhood is an important part of me; remembering why and how things played a part now and as I think she also knew that I was a lesbian at that early age and she was wiser of course, she was older than me she was who I am at this point. I think I would know some kid too. Who would know? Maybe, she"s also a lesbian reflecting herself to me when she was young. After which, I didn"t see her anymore, I did looked for her, kept an eye out just in case, she still is around like she said she"ll be leaving in two days she"s been here for a few days before I came.
No sign of her, I couldn"t go around to look for her enough because courage and naïveté.
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I"d"ve spent nights finishing,.. composing,. singing,. testing,. tuning,. rhyming,. matching,. fitting everything of the puzzle pieces together of my present for her.
I always try to make it up to her when I missed her and she missed me, we"d be on camera, goofing each other, being silly and just ourselves and it is really cool and loving at the same time.
I"d be with her in her class, room, outside everywhere, even in stormy weathers there I am live in screen seeing the whole event happening.
"Hey babe, I am sorry I have been gone. I was eating lunch and now I have found a reception, there wasn"t any signal at home I am just on low data, as usual. But I am sitting on the porch just talking to you. What did I miss?"
"Hii princess, I am happy you"re back! I get to talk to you as soon again :) you didn"t miss much :* but I missed you and was your lunch good? <3 x"
"Yes, princess I am here now! I couldn"t really wait any longer. I wanted to talk to you that badly and yea, it was fine. I missed you too x even just a few minutes or hours that I am away or not having good signal I"d be missing you so fast."
"Me either! Been dying for a signal every time time hits the time I"d usually be on."
"Me too! I gotten used to talking to you every now and then. I love you always"
"I love you too, always"
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- Writer
