The Crush List

Chapter Seven - Wild Nights & Quiet Mornings

The scent of coffee and buttery toast filled the kitchen as Emery padded in barefoot, wearing one of Cal’s oversized T-shirts she’d “borrowed” months ago and never returned. Lianne was already at the counter, legs tucked under her in a barstool, flipping through a fashion magazine and smirking like she knew every secret in the world.

“You're glowing,” Lianne said without even looking up.

Emery tried to play it cool, pouring herself a cup of coffee, but her cheeks betrayed her with their telltale heat. “Am I?”

“You slept with Jace Redding. The Jace Redding. Of course you’re glowing.”

Emery laughed, half in disbelief. “That’s not why. I mean, okay—partially why. But also, last night was… something else.”

“Something else like good? Or something else like 'I can’t believe I did that and now I need holy water and therapy'?”

She took a sip of her coffee, curling her fingers around the warm mug. “Good. Really good. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like that before.”

Lianne raised a brow. “Like what? Enlightened? Ravished? Spiritually awakened through s*x?”

“All of the above.” Emery sighed, resting her chin in her hand. “He was confident but sweet, and completely in the moment. No pressure. Just heat. And freedom.”

“Look at you,” Lianne grinned. “Out here having your first rockstar experience like a damn coming-of-age movie. All that was missing was a montage and a leather jacket.”

Emery shook her head, smiling softly. “It wasn’t just about the s*x, though. It was that I said yes. That I wanted something just for me—and I went for it.”

Lianne tapped her mug against Emery’s. “That’s my girl. You just unlocked main character energy.”

Emery laughed, but the sound faded as her mind wandered. She thought of the car ride home. Of Cal, already gone. Of the careful distance he gave her, like he was letting her grow roots before pulling her closer.

“He texted you?” Lianne asked, reading her expression like a book.

Emery nodded. “Just to check in. Said he’d be back tonight. He’s giving me space.”

“And how do we feel about that?”

She hesitated. “Grateful. But also... I kind of miss him.”

Lianne smirked again. “That’s because space is one thing, but that man? He’s gravity.”

Emery bit her lip, heart fluttering. “Yeah,” she whispered, “he really is.”

After Lianne left with a wink and promises to debrief more later, Emery took her time in the shower, letting the hot water work through her thoughts. She scrubbed off the festival and last night’s memory—not because she regretted it, but because she felt like she was shedding the skin of the girl who used to hesitate, doubt, second-guess. She was stepping into something new now, something bold and a little terrifying.

She picked out one of the outfits the stylist had picked for her—a soft cream cropped sweater and high-waisted wide-leg trousers in burnt orange. Her hair curled effortlessly from the sea breeze the night before, so she pinned part of it back and added a hint of gloss.

She looked... confident.

By the time she made herself lunch—just a simple bowl of pasta and a salad—it felt like a quiet reward. The kitchen was still, the way it always was when Cal was out. But just as she speared a forkful of pasta, she heard the door open.

Cal’s voice came before she saw him. “You know, I figured I’d find you still in bed, post-wild-night-with-a-rockstar.”

Emery glanced over her shoulder, her cheeks warming as Cal strode into the room. He looked fresh from travel, sunglasses still in hand, hair a little tousled like he’d run his hands through it too many times.

“I’ve been up for hours,” she said, straightening in her seat. “Had breakfast. Took a shower. Got dressed. Look—functioning adult.”

He grinned, heading toward the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “And humble too.”

She rolled her eyes, laughing.

Cal leaned against the counter, taking a long drink before nodding toward her. “So, tell me. What are we crossing off the list?”

Emery tried not to fidget with her fork. “Well… definitely the one about making a friend for life.”

“Lianne?”

She nodded, smiling warmly. “She’s amazing. We really connected.”

Cal gave a small, pleased smirk. “Told you. I have a talent for this.”

“And…” Emery trailed off, then gave him a pointed look, “...maybe the one about the lead singer.”

His brow quirked. “Maybe?”

She blushed. “Fine. Definitely. Jace was… something else.”

For a heartbeat, something unreadable flashed across Cal’s face—just a flicker—but then he smiled again. “Good. That’s what this is all about.”

Emery’s gaze softened. “It’s also about letting you drag me into this wild ride and somehow trusting you’ll catch me when I leap.”

He walked over and stole a cherry tomato off her plate. “Every time, Em. Every single time.”

Cal leaned back in his chair with his usual self-satisfied smirk, eyeing her over his water glass like he already knew the answer to the question he was about to ask.

“So,” he said, “how many things did we cross off the list last night?”

She stabbed at a piece of avocado with her fork, cheeks warming even now. “Three.”

His grin widened. “Three?”

“I made a friend for life with Lianne, kissed someone I just met, and… well, you know the rest.” She gave him a pointed look, but he didn’t flinch. Of course he didn’t.

Instead, he looked pleased. “See? That’s progress.”

She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide her smile. “It’s also mildly terrifying that you’re this good at pushing me into reckless experiences.”

“Correction,” he said smoothly, “I’m good at creating space for you to say yes to what you want. There’s a difference.”

She set her fork down, leaning forward slightly. “So what now?”

Cal shrugged, but it was anything but casual. There was thought behind those eyes. Strategy. “We’ve got seven more to go. I’m happy to let things unfold naturally, but… if you’re feeling a pull toward something specific, we can tilt the odds.”

She paused. “I’m not sure yet. It’s weird—I feel a little… braver today. But not reckless.”

He smiled softly. “That’s a good place to be, Em.”

She watched as Cal pushed his chair back slightly, the gears in his head already turning.

“I might have an idea,” he said, that familiar spark lighting up in his eyes.

Emery raised a brow, wary already. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” He leaned forward, elbows on the table. “There’s a party tomorrow night. Big place in the Hills. One of my actor friends—good guy, terrible at monogamy, but throws a legendary party.”

She gave him a flat look. “That’s not exactly selling it.”

He laughed. “You’ll like the vibe. Laid-back, wild in the best way. We’re talking live music, rooftop bar, and enough people pretending to be someone else to make it entertaining. You’d blend in just fine.”

“I don’t know…” she trailed off, sipping her water. “That sounds more like your world.”

“And you’re in it now,” he reminded her with a grin. “This isn’t about fitting in, Emery. It’s about trying things. Besides, those parties? They tend to get a little… uninhibited.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Define ‘uninhibited.’”

He held up a finger, counting off. “You could drink too much champagne, dance barefoot in the kitchen, maybe skinny dip if the pool tempts you. Which it usually does after midnight.”

Her face burned. “You think I’d skinny dip in front of strangers?”

“I think you’re capable of a lot more than you give yourself credit for,” he said softly, his tone suddenly more serious. “And I think you’d be surprised what happens when you let go.”

That made her go quiet. Not because she was offended—but because she was tempted. The way he said it made her feel like she could actually do it. Like the version of herself she was chasing… already existed somewhere under the surface, waiting.

She met his eyes. “You’ll be there?”

He smirked. “Every reckless step of the way.”

Emery had just tucked a strand of hair behind her ear when Cal leaned back in his chair again, a knowing smirk playing on his lips.

“So,” he said, drawing the word out slowly. “Are we not going to talk about your very rockstar night?”

She froze mid-bite, the fork halfway to her mouth.

“No,” she said quickly, cheeks already flushing. “We are absolutely not talking about that.”

Cal chuckled, clearly enjoying every second of her mortification. “Come on, Emery. It’s on the list. ‘One-night stand with a musician’ — check. That’s a major milestone.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re way too happy about this.”

“I’m happy because you’re finally living, Em,” he said, voice lighter now, but laced with something deeper. “That’s what this whole thing is about. Besides…” He tilted his head. “Was it at least good?”

Her face flamed. “I am not answering that.”

Cal laughed harder, leaning in like they were conspiring. “That good, huh?”

She groaned and buried her face in her hands. “You’re the worst.”

“Nope,” he said, smug now. “I’m the one who told you to say yes to new experiences. You’re welcome, by the way.”

Peeking out from behind her hands, she gave him a soft smile despite herself. “Okay, maybe it was… a lot. Good kind of overwhelming. Definitely not something I’d ever done before.”

He studied her for a moment, quiet again. “That’s the version of you I want to keep seeing,” he said, more gently now. “The one who does things not because she should, or because someone else expects her to… but because she wants to.”

Emery swallowed, that warmth spreading from her chest outward. She looked down at her now-cold lunch and mumbled, “Well. That version is still trying to find her footing.”

Cal stood, walking past her, then paused behind her chair. His hand brushed lightly over her shoulder — nothing more — but she felt it like a static charge.

“She’s already on her way,” he said, then walked off toward the living room.

And just like that, he left her in the kitchen — flustered, confused, and a little more aware of the way her pulse seemed to dance whenever he got too close.

Emery lay on her back across the huge, unfamiliar bed, phone pressed to her ear, twirling a loose strand of hair. “I don’t know what to wear,” she groaned.

Lianne’s laugh crackled through the line. “It’s a party, Emery. You wear something that makes you feel like you’re the moment. Bonus points if it’s short, shimmery, or totally impractical.”

“That sounds terrifying,” Emery said, tugging at the hem of her oversized sleep shirt. “You forget I’m new to this. I’ve never been to a party where people actually skinny-dip.”

“Well,” Lianne said, already sounding far too pleased, “then this is the perfect time to pop that particular cherry. Just have fun. Drink the expensive champagne. Dance like no one’s watching. And if you feel like taking your clothes off, do it for you, not for anyone else.”

Emery snorted. “Right. Easy for you to say. You practically live in that kind of chaos.”

“It’s not chaos,” Lianne said cheekily. “It’s liberation.”

They both laughed, the kind of laugh that came from feeling understood.

Then Emery hesitated, voice quieter. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“I told Cal today that we could probably check off three things from the list already. And when he asked me about the night with Jace, I practically short-circuited. I mean, I couldn’t even look at him.”

There was a beat of silence.

“And… why do you think that is?” Lianne finally asked, tone softer, more careful.

“I don’t know,” Emery lied — and they both knew it.

Lianne hummed like she was mulling it over. “Maybe because you’re used to Cal being your safety net. Not someone who imagines you in bed with a rockstar.”

“God, don’t say it like that.”

“But it’s true, isn’t it? You’re okay with the world seeing you differently now, but not him. That’s interesting.”

Emery bit her lip, her mind looping back to the kitchen earlier that day. The teasing, the heat in his voice, the way his touch lingered just long enough to make her heart flutter.

“I think you’re scared of what it would mean,” Lianne added gently. “If he started looking at you differently too.”

Emery didn’t respond.

Because Lianne was right — and some part of her, deep down, wasn’t sure if she was ready for that.

But maybe it was already happening anyway.

Emery let the silence stretch between them, heavy with everything unsaid. She stared at the ceiling, watching the soft shadows dance across the room from the pool lights outside.

“You’re right,” she said finally, voice barely above a whisper. “I think I am embarrassed… because it’s him.”

Lianne didn’t speak, just let her get the words out.

“I’ve spent years idolizing him. Watching him from a distance, thinking he was untouchable — because he was. And now he’s right here, helping me change my life, and he sees everything. And I keep thinking…” She trailed off, cheeks heating again at the memory of Cal asking her about her night with Jace. “If he ever looked at me like that—really saw me—I don’t know what I’d do.”

Lianne was quiet, thoughtful. “That sounds a lot like something more than a crush, Em.”

Emery gave a short laugh. “Doesn’t matter. Cal would never see me that way. To him, I’m still the kid with braces and pink glitter shoes who tripped over her own feet trying to impress him at the Fourth of July barbecue.”

“He doesn’t look at you like a kid anymore,” Lianne said softly. “Trust me. I saw the way his eyes follow you.”

“Maybe.” Emery’s voice was barely audible now. “But it’s safer to believe he doesn’t.”

Lianne sighed gently. “You keep saying this trip is about finding yourself. Maybe it’s also about figuring out what you’re brave enough to want.”

Emery closed her eyes, heart suddenly racing. “Maybe,” she murmured. “Goodnight, Lianne.”

“Goodnight, firecracker.”

As the call ended, Emery stared at the ceiling a little longer, thoughts tangled with heat and doubt and something that felt dangerously close to hope.

Maybe she wasn’t as invisible to him as she thought.