His Mark On My Madness

Marked in moonlight

We did not talk on the way out of the church. Ryan never questioned me about the places I would want to visit. He simply walked and I followed. There was an air between us which was heavy. Quiet. Full of the stuff we were not saying. We got to a stream I thought I had not seen. The water filled the moon, and it was glittering as a holy thing. He stopped and turned to me.

“You have been out here some time,” He said low.

"Yeah."

"She'll be looking for you.”

"My aunt?"

He nodded once. "I heard wolves. They're hers."

I didn't move. "Let her look."

"She's going to be furious."

"I'm used to it."

He stepped toward me. "You've been gone all night. What is going to happen to her when you come back in.?"

Probably say I have spoilt my future, again.” He took another step. I didn't back away.

“Are there chances that I have done so already?” I said to myself. His jaw tensed. "You haven't."

"How would you know?"

"Due to the fact I saw what ruined is like." His fingers brushed my jaw. My breath caught. "And that's not you." Between us there was a snapping space. As a match that is just ready to lit. his eyes had changed-gold as ever, hungry as ever.

“There was a way you looked at me all the time as though you wanted me,” I said in a low voice.

"I do."

"But you won't touch me."

"I will."

"When?"

"When you ask me to." That ruined me. I approached him, pulled the front of his shirt and kissed him, He didn't hesitate. His hands went down my spine, frantic and hard and I became all on fire. He kissed me, as though he was going to destroy something, me or himself. I could not care. I was putting my lips on him like I was literally drowning. His hand touched my thigh and drew me round him. him. I moaned, raw and low.

"Ryan." He withdrew just so that he could breathe on my mouth.

"You want me to stop?"

"No." But i stepped aside, shaking in breath.. "We shouldn't." He let me go, but barely.

“Just say the word and I will go.” I looked at him and wanted him in the way that I never wanted anything and I could not breathe under the weight of that.

I said “I cannot belong to anyone, not like this.” He closed his mouth,then the breeze blew and Ryan stood motionless.

"They're here." I turned. Silent and sleek four wolves travelled through the trees. One of them changed half-way into man-dark hair, sharp jaw. My aunt's second-in-command.

"Reina," he said. "It's time." I did not encourage Ryan to move forward.

"I'm fine," I said. "Let me handle this." The beta's eyes narrowed. “You‘ve been away too long.”

"I needed space."

"You need discipline."

Ryan growled low. "Watch your mouth."

The beta turned to him. "You're not her alpha."

"No," Ryan said. “But I am not the person who is dragging her out of the woods as an object. I stepped between them. "Stop. Please."

Ryan's hand brushed mine. "You don't have to go."

"Yes, I do." He stared at me a minute, and then nodded. I followed the wolves, i didn't look back but I felt him watching and I knew that I would feel him long after I left and I did.

*** Back at my aunt’s house

It was colder in the house, than in the woods and in the hallway, my aunt was waiting. No robe, no soft concern. Just cold fury in her eyes.

“Here you are thinking that it is a game?” she snapped. “And like a wild pup in heat extraditing all night!"

"I needed air."

"You needed sense." She was approaching me with raised voice.

"You are not a wolf, Reina, you have no strength, you have no control. all you have is my little bit of honour that i give you and you break it off by running into the woods after men?"

"I wasn't chasing anyone."

"Don't lie to me!" Banging her hand against the wall she struck it vigorously enough to shake the dust.

"You think you're special? You're just like your mother. Head full of wildness. Stomach full of shame." I flinched.

“I raised you better than this,” she said.

“And when you should feel like playing a w***e, do it without my walls.“ “Don‘t come back with dirt and his stench as a stain.” That one landed. I sensed it deep down my throat, my chest, my guts.

“You know nothing about me,” I said shaking.

"I know enough."

“Are you aware of what people said to you,” what they talked about. “You have no idea what i have lost." She didn't blink.

"I lost them too."

"No," I said. "You took what was left." We stared at each other. and that was when I disliked her.. Not merely on account of what she had said-but on what she had laid bare. She turned away.

“Clean up," she said. “When you want to blow yourself up, do not do it here.”

***BACK IN MY ROOM

The beds were not really homey. I did not feel safe in the air. I could still feel the touch of Ryan on my body but my heart was full of thorns. I tried to breathe a little and then I smelled him, not him exactly, but his shirt folded on my windowsill. It still had the smell that made something in me to quiver in some part. My wolf. She did not talk but she made a single gesture. a twitch in my skin and the first I have had in years. I pressed the shirt to my chest, tried to hold still and then I felt it happening.

***The dream

I didn’t walk toward him, but was pulled to him as if the blood must have known him far before my mind had a chance. There, in an opening of moonshine, He beamed forth like the wild creature which had been calling me since the woods. His eyes burned, his chest went up and down as though he had waited an awfully long time, and then his hand took hold of mine and fire shot through my body like a flash and where his hand had touched my wrist, where golden speech had swirled into my flesh like ink spelled of magic, a sign was born. I breathed hard and my knees went down. Immediately he caught hold of me in one arm around the waist as though he possessed all of me. I squeezed my thighs together and my lips were parted. My wolf was howling within my innermost self - free, wild and hungry. I moaned in the dream, low, and his mouth was about to meet mine before i woke up sweating, shaking and breathless. The moon I saw through my windows was real and the mark? It was no longer glowing but it was there.