Love doesn't Demand

CHAPTER 4

"Mom, Dad, I want to pursue art!"

My parents stared at me with flaming eyes. As I swallowed hard, I can't help but be terrified by their stares. By judging from their looks, I should've known they won't even consider what I want. But hey, I'm standing here right now, getting braver and finally having guts every second of the day and letting it all out at this moment.

"I always want to be an artist..." I uttered as my voice gets lower with every word I say. Still, I put my courage together and face them. "Please, support me. Just this once, please..."

Not once in my life did I argue with my parents for something that I want. Growing up in their strict footsteps, it's been hard for me to pretend to enjoy this journey with them. The only thing keeping me standing up until today is my younger self.

When I was just a young girl, I promised myself that I'll be successful one day in something I'll be proud of, something that I'm passionate about. I've always been the curious little girl about what might happen to my future with the decisions I make today together with the things I invest myself in. I can even spend all day staring at the sky and wishing for the heavens to hear the desires of my heart, placing my soul in every word I whisper to the sky as if it listens to me.

"What kind of joke is this, Julia?" Dad said, in a deep voice.

My hopeful eyes fell in deep loss forfeiting all my courage as chains appeared from the ground and begun pulling me down. My knees weakened and the ambiance of their presence seeps my whole strength in awe. One by one different opinion, judgments circled in my mind as they break the confidence I have left inside my passionate spirit.

The surroundings started to shake so hard that it made my chest ache in anguish. I clenched my fist as I suppress the distress at this moment. I look up at my parents, and to my surprise, they became red smoke and vanish into the air. Everything and everyone fell apart before my eyes losing all my vision until a loud buzzing sound snapped my consciousness to see what it was. My eyelids were heavy but I manage to grab the alarm clock to turn it off. I fix my composure and that's when I realize all that has happened was just a dream.

It was just a dream yet it felt so real...

Being skeptical if I was still dreaming, I pinch my arms and felt the pain. Finally, reality. Few minutes only have passed yet I can't already recall what my dream was about! I was struggling to remember everything but my memory failed.

For many reasons, my eyes were glued outside of the window staring endlessly into the lightness. This morning is too heavy, to begin with as a whole. I may not recall my dream but it was vast and something I don't want to dwell on further.

My arms opened widely as I let out a yawn. I look at the calendar while expanding my eyes. Two and a half more months left and I assume I should've figured all things out by that time.

Black or black, white or white. There shall be no black or white option. If I want to pursue art, art it is! But if I were to pursue a career as a police officer in the future and walk in my parent's path, I need to let go of art for good. That's it.

After having a cold shower and fulfilling my skincare routine, I wore on my favorite floral dress sitting upon my skin as soft petals, its hue the many pinks of a rose garden revealing the girly side of mine. I tied my hair in a high ponytail and put up light makeup.

Since last week, I've been so excited about Marco's announcement. He said we will have an art trip exactly this date and I want to look presentable as much as possible. Well, I kinda want to look cute or beautiful at the same time in Marco's eyes not gonna lie. Maybe cupid has struck me with his arrow? Whatever the reason is, I want to look the best!

But before that, I need to face Alistair once and for all. He has not been contacting me for a week now unlike before asking me always where am I or when should he pick me up. I'm done hiding from him since he already knows my little secret. Ugh, I don't even know if I should feel the need to explain my side to him! However, for the sake of my parent's heart health, I shall talk to him the soonest before he reveals everything to them.

I called a taxi and stopped by on Alistair's street. It's still a little early for a visit so I wonder if he's awake by now. As I entered their subdivision, I asked myself is to what is art to me? On why am I even considering this path?

Well, it's something that I can't get through a day without making one. Even if it's just scribbled in a sketch paper or a random abstract that I create on a blank canvas, it still brightens my day no matter what. Art just gives me the privilege to express myself and it's something I can't let go of easily.

During my teenage years, I wanted to be an artist, but in reality, I deny it. I deny my hobby because I'm afraid of things others might say... especially what my parents would say. Art is fun! But if I were to consider the harsh reality of life, I would have no choice but to choose a stable job. Being an artist is some sort of a self-enslavement that not everyone is capable to fight for.

But I wonder how Marco got through his tough times... I tend to think how he battled for his passion just to follow his dreams. I want to be like him too, he knows what he wants and is determined to follow it. He's brave - something that I always admire about him. Hopefully, someday I'll be able to walk in the path where I'm happy and committed to do as well. May it be as a policewoman, an artist, or what. As long as I'm satisfied with it, I'll take my destined path.

A person passed through me and at first, I didn't give notice until I realize it's Alistair's body frame. He's jogging around the subdivision with earphones on. Did he just saw me and chose to ignore my presence? Even so, I tried catching up with him but as soon as I run after a few minutes, I started reaching out for my breathing.

"Hey!" I yelled, yet he didn't try glancing at me. "Alistair, I know you can hear me!"

My head hurts from jogging! Well, what do I expect? I didn't even stretch for a bit, plus it's been months since I last jog a whole subdivision! Is he making me suffer? As much as I want to strangle his neck, I gave up on chasing after him when I suddenly felt tired. My muscular endurance can't quite handle his speed. A shadow blocked my body and I look up to see Alistair taking off his earphones.

"Your body has become weak," he said.

Like hello, I'm freaking aware of it! Besides, I'm in a dress and it's difficult for me to run. My body break in a sweat, geez. He pulled out a towel from his pocket and motioned his finger, telling me to turn around. When we were in elementary days, he used to place a towel in my back because I sweat too much from playing with him. We were friends back then but as soon as high school came, we parted ways. He changed his school and I never heard of him again not until this month after several years...

He's an aspiring police official in the government, and he wants me with him. Although, I don't know what's his true intention. But I'm certain my parents got in touch with him to help me pass the physical and mental test in the Academy soon.

He finished placing the towel on my back and his touch was rather electrifying. He gripped on both of my shoulders and I bit my lower lip as I look down. It's been hard losing a friend, especially an important one that I couldn't erase in my heart easily. Losing someone as a kid was truly heartbreaking, but eventually, I learned how to accept things at that age. The only thing I can't understand is how he managed to come back here like he didn't leave me without a say in my little world back then.

"I hope we can bring back everything," he whispered through my ears.

"What everything?" I asked, turning around to face him.

"You know..." he trailed off.

"You left with no words yet you have the audacity to come back so lightly like nothing happened, just how?" I said, clenching my fist. "Did my parents beg themselves to their knees to convinced you enough and come back to help me?"

"It's my choice to come back. And when they told me you want to get in the same Academy as mine, I offered my helped."

It only angers me to know that he thinks I'm not capable of qualifying for the exam! What does he think of me? Someone who needs to depend on to accomplish my career? Heck, no!

"I can study and train alone, I don't need anyone's help," I argued.

"Won't you even ask why I left? Don't I deserve to explain a bit?" he asked.

"For what?" My tone was harsh enough to make his eyes drown in deep pain.

"Then at least answer me, is Marco the reason why you're not training?" His question made me stunned. I can't tell him why I'm not training nor studying for the exam. Without a doubt, he must be one of those judgmental persons and I wouldn't risk telling him my intentions.

"Yes..."

"Julia, you know how much important this is. I can't understand why would you risk your future for a high school dropout," he said, with a disappointed voice.

"What did you say?" I asked, in a fierce tone. How dare he belittle Marco!

"Isn't he the guy who owns an art studio that nobody even goes to?" His words only added fire to my ranging mind.

"Excuse me," I said, arching my eyebrow, "he has many students!"

"You know that your parents won't agree with this," he said. I do understand Alistair's point and I know he's just being practical, but there's no way I'll let my parents know unless I'm determined enough.

"Don't you even dare to tell them," I warned. "This is the last thing you could do if ever you still consider me as a friend, Alistair."

Turning the tables by pulling out the victim card may seem vicious, however, I'm desperate to discover my calling in life. Time is all I need, please. For now, I want to set aside those people getting on my way. It doesn't help the slightest bit.

"Fine," he said and sighed in defeat, "but I won't let you date Marco alone, the real reason I'm here is to court you."

My eyes widen.

"What?"

Is he for real?! He can laugh any time now, haha!

"You heard me."

Wait, he's seriously not cracking a joke? I gulped as I dwell onto his serious stares. He seemed calm and determined to his words. But I crossed my arms and said, "I haven't even agreed yet."

"Well, I have your parent's permission and you can't do anything about it, princess."

Princess... the nickname he gave me before that I always wanted to hear from his mouth. On the other hand, I call him a 'beast' because he's as brave as a wild animal yet tamed when he's with me.

Staring at him, he's not the little boy I play with anymore. Alistair is now a grown man, and I'm afraid to open my heart to someone who already captured my kind soul.

Just how fast the night changes...