I'm Dying, Mate

(1) Mate, Gone

I will lend you, for a little time,

A child of mine, He said.

For you to love the while he lives,And mourn for when he's dead.

~Edgar Guest

Their silver Hummer was parked in front of a two-story house complex with tall security gates. It was a modern house, and from its look and feel, it seemed like a young bachelor lived there, rather than a dying girl with cancer.

Iona climbs down the large vehicle. It was hard for her at 5'4"; it felt like a mountain, with her clinging to the seat as she felt for the ground. Her toes pointed down, trying to contact the gravel. She felt two hands on her hip and slowly lowered herself when she still hadn't pressed the security of land. She turns her head to meet Keith's amused eyes.

She makes a small smile, "Thanks."

Keith grins, and a strange feeling that he hasn't felt in a long time invades his chest. He ruffles her hair as if it were a habit accumulated over time together that never existed. "Welcome, Shortie"

Iona groans, "Shortie, your ass."

Keith chuckles but says no more.

Jared looks at the tall, looming gates of the apartment building. His eyes were trying to gauge what was wrong with the place, as he was trained to do.

Always look for faults before you trust anyone, his Dad once told him.

He didn't see anything amiss; it looked safe—a guard stared at him. He set aside the annoyance of being suspected, admitting he did look like trouble.

"Hi," Iona steps in to view the guard.

"Iona!" his hard face cracks into a smile at the sight of the short, fragile girl. "Wait, let me open the gates for you...and your guests".

"They're my cousins", Iona felt the words on her tongue; it was foreign and new. It wasn't weird, but it was certainly strange; it hadn't occurred to her that she'd say words like those.

"Oh," Felix, the guard, eyes the two teenage boys who looked nothing like the sweet human. "I see, well, I shouldn't keep you waiting then."

He opens the gates for them while Jared tries hard not to growl at his face for even doubting him. He won't stoop so low as to be degraded by a human he can throw over his head and break his neck.

"Let's go then," Iona pulls at Jared's arm, his gaze snaps at the contact, and for a moment, the anger is gone. He was... elated and followed meekly in the short human's wake.

JARED

Her room is what I consider simple, close to bare. It had white walls and black tiles, and it was just a studio type. A single door leads to a functioning bathroom, and a large window, estimated at 3 meters by 3 meters, overlooks the small square behind her building.

The bed, pressed close to the window and reaching its height, frames Iona’s small sleeping body. If I step into the square, I know she’d be visible. The thought of my little cousin’s privacy being violated gnaws at me with irritation.

Keith seems to notice this too as he looks over to the window. He was on all fours on the bed while peering outside.

"Cousin, this is too...revealing, don't you think?" Keith glances at Iona, who is pulling a box from under the counters. I hear the kitchen sink dripping, or what I think is the kitchen; everything here was just so f*****g tiny.

She meets his gaze and shrugs, "It's tinted, don't worry."

Relieved and satisfied with her answer, I began looking at the pictures taped to the wall. She has the right eye, but most of the subjects were looking away and were purely candid. Should I tell her that's illegal?

I notice the books on the floor since the walls are bare of any surfaces they can be placed on. There were no dressers or cabinets, but just a small suitcase on the side with all the clothes she had ever owned.

Keith, she barely has anything I sent to the bond. Keith just gave me a resigned shrug and sighed, as if to say, What-can-you-do?

Her room smelled of lavender and strong medications. My eyes snapped on the kitchen counter where rows and rows of medicine lay open for anyone to see. It feels like a dying girl lives here; it is devoid of any warmth, but a reminder of how lonely she is and how cold her life is.

I can't believe my cousin lived here for three months without feeling suffocated by this thick air of loneliness. It just feels lonely; it made a vice grip on my chest over my unlucky cousin.

I move to the window to look out at the square. I see a café, a small restaurant, and a bookstore on the back. I hear her piling the books in the box she managed to assemble, and I move to help.

"It's fine," she smiles at me, her eyes glossy and sincere ", I'm not an invalid yet, you can just carry them down for me."

My frown deepens

She giggles. For a moment, I am transported back to the time when everyone was still alive and not dying. Aunt Dianna and Iona are living with us at the vacation farmhouse, without the pathetic male human she calls her father. "Stop frowning, you look like one of those Halloween masks."

I purse my lips in a straight line instead. Is this what my little cousin lived in? It just seems so death-like; you could feel the presence of a dying human. I hated it. Why does she have to die—after we finally found her, after ten years? How can she have cancer when she came from a healthy family? I guess that good-for-nothing father of hers probably has a weak bloodline.

I hated my cousin's father. All he did was drugs and hurt Iona's mother. Sometimes I wondered if he hurt my cousin, too. If he did, he'd better wish he were dead, because I can't imagine Dad letting that pass.

But there might be a chance, right? There could be a chance for her to live. I mean, if you have a werewolf mate, he'll give you some blood that can be compatible with her, because they're mates and heal her. No werewolf mate dies from any sickness; they only die of old age or injuries. If only we could find her a mate in 9 months—maybe, just maybe, it would give her a chance to live. She has to live. I can’t let myself think otherwise.

I turned to look at Keith, who was looking at a huge teddy bear. I was about to tell him about the small chance, but the i***t was too absorbed in the huge thing. It grabbed his attention the moment he saw Iona trying to reach a box from a high cabinet, so I decided to help her first before she physically harmed herself.f.e mumbles a small thanks and kneels by the floor again; she is careful about how to handle her things. I know she treasures everything she owns because of it.

I smell her lavender scent, feel the weakness of her body temperature, and hear her steady heartbeat. Every beat is like a reminder or a time limit on her inevitable death.

"Ahh, Keith! Please don't mess up my teddy bear. It was a gift", she says to Keith, who was trying the weight of the enormous teddy bear.

"How the f**k did this even fit through the door?!" He says. He looks at Iona, expecting a calculated answerlculated answer.

"We pushed it in...?" she says with a tinge of colour on her cheeks, but that is all we can get from her that can be considered as a blush.

"How many months have you lived here?" Keith asks while grabbing the bear's arm like a child. He glares at the thing like he's accusing it of holding Iona captive.

"3 months." She says while getting her pictures off the wall.

I looked at her, baffled. I opened the suitcase. It was empty, collecting dust and incredibly light to the touch. "Where are your clothes?"

She looks at me. Her black eyes looked troubled, as if she were thinking about whether to tell us, "I-I don't have any clothes."

"Why don't you have clothes?" Keith interjects, still holding the Bear's arm. I know he is trying so hard not to puncture his nails through his hand, gripping the fur of it.

I know the feeling. First, I wanted to punch the walls with my knuckles, but then I shoved them in my pockets instead. Now I just feel useless, hopeless, and incredibly stupid. We could have used our money to make her life better, to make her feel safe and loved. She f*****g lived just an hour away from the f*****g pack-house.

My skin prickled, my fur close to rustling out of my human skin.

"Well, I lived my life in the hospital, and I did have clothes, but they don't fit anymore. Also, I had a chance to buy clothes in those three months, but the money will just go to waste since I'm going to uh..." I glare at her, daring her to continue that sentence. She gets the hint.

"...so, I wear hand-me-downs from Doc's family. He gives it to me and takes care of the laundry for me," she explains while playing with the hem of her shirt. She looks like a child again, the child that I grew up with until she was whisked away from us.

How many of her and her Mother's birthdays have we celebrated without them? How incredibly sad it gets in the house when we do.

"And those clothes are from this doctor, correct?" I point at her jean shorts and brown tee.

"Uhh, yeah, hand me downs. On Saturdays, Doc's maid will take", she says, before turning back to the box and starting packing again.

Today is a Saturday, so she's clean of any old clothes."Where? Where are your new clothes, then?" Keith squints his eyes in sc. Her back tenses, and even when she was faced away, I could feel how nervous she was. She doesn't want to answer. Why? I don't know. Why? I don't know, I'm looking at them. I try not to ask Doc too much. He's already done enough, you know?" She doesn't look at us as she says this. I see her large bruises still there, mocking me for what a failure we've been.n.

"Mom would for sure take you to buy some clothes," Keith says, hopefully. "Would you like that?"

Iona's face looked like she was going to protest, but I glared at her, daring her to. She shuts her lips and shakes her head "Sure, I think so."

In the end, we only had three boxes, and I carried them all since they were incredibly light. Keith carried the insanely large Bearbear down the flights of stairs in his arms. All of a sudden, he stumbles through the stairs and hits the corner."Are you okay?" I laugh my ass off, almost stumbling myself and dropping the box, putting the boxesses

"I'm fine," he glares at me. "Thanks, cousin, at least I know someone who cares."

After we put the box on the back and tied the Bearbear to the roof of my vehicle, I helped Iona climb in and take the driver's seat myself.

"I'm sorry if all I've done is glare and be moody," I whisper while thrumming my fingers on the wheel. I ignore Keith's shocked face in the rearview mirror, his jaw opens, and his eyes widen.

I've rarely apologised since I started the Alpha training. I started around a year after Iona and Dianna left. A lot changed after they left. It must be strange to be affected so much by them going, but we were incredibly close.

My father and Uncles doted on Aunt Dianna and Iona. Being human with a gene that can carry Alpha pups, my father and uncles were taken by the council to prepare for it, but they never forgot the love they gave to my aunt, even when they found their mates.

I wish that Dianna had the gene, but apparently, it skips sometimes.

"It's okay," She whispers, a small smile on her face. "I'm not much of a good company, to be honest. I'm called a downer a lot. I had limited social skills".

"You're not a downer," Keith protests, after recovering ", Yo"Not really, I read a lot, technically spy on people, and I don't like the mall or shopping, so--" shopping so--"

"You don't like shopping?" I question, incredulous.

I was taken aback; she was the first girl I knew who didn't like shopping, since all the girls I dated loved it more than anything.

"You don't like shopping?" Keith repeats that he couldn't believe it either.

"Yeah, never really liked the number of people, and there is a lot of crazy going on everywhere," she says as she sinks into her seat and grabs hold of the handle to steady herself. "Never really liked cars either."

"You never rode a car before?" Keith asks

"Well, I rode an ambulance when I had to change hospitals, and let's just say the floor has never been that beautiful after I puked on it", Iona laughs. "But shopping may be fine, though I don't have a sense of style."

I sigh, trying not to destroy the wheel of my car as I drive. How long has it been since she lived this way? I try not to think about it because if I do, I fear that the painful vice grip on my heart would tear me to pieces, or I'd storm out of the car in my wolf form.

The latter would just induce panic in my small cousin, and the former is stupidly painful. Inhumanely painful, the closest I have to a broken heart.

Mom was going crazy at home, especially when she learned that Iona didn't have any clothes. She starts asking s***h to order female pack members of the same size to pull every spare piece of clothing they have for Iona.

The only thing that stopped her from turning the whole place into a refugee centre was when someone reminded her there was a mall close to where we lived, and we could buy her new ones instead of another set of hand-me-downs.

Jessie, one of the female pack members, seems to like Iona and helps her try on clothes. Jessie had blonde curls and icy blue eyes that were easy to read; it's incredibly hard for her to lie. She is a good five inches taller than Iona and has the body of a track athlete because she is the best runner in the pack.

She has been training to be a messenger for the packs, the kind who crosses borders to deliver messages. We have something called the Golden Pass, which is where the werewolf messengers do most. Werewolves are modern, but we keep tradition as much as we can, in line with the times and the age of humans. We use email and the internet, but we use the Golden Pass to exchange important ancient scrolls made by the Moon Goddess. The Moon Goddess

I was leaning on the wall, watching them try to dress Iona's small body, which was freaking thin and small, when Dad came in.

"Where's the coffee table?" Dad asks, looking over the room, the coffee table in question is under the pile of clothes that Mom was able to pull out from"It's already here, so might as well try some of them on," She saysm on," She says

Dad's eyes looked around the living room, then landed on Keith, who was reading his comic book while lounging on the couch "Keith, did you throw the seventh coffee table again?"

Keith realises everyone is looking at him and sits up, "What? No! That's just sick".

I chuckle, smiling evilly. "He did just that, Dad, he threw it because he lost another one of his games."

Keith opens his mouth to argue, but Dad beats him to it, "Keith! You are grounded, and you're in charge of training the pups!"

Keith deflates and glares accusingly at me. Dad has used the Alpha voice, which means there is no going back. He huffs and sits beside Iona to annoy me about how he can quickly get along with anyone.

Dad glares at him, then softens when he looks at Iona. "Well, Iona, I have news for you."

Iona turns to Dad with a small smile, "What's the news? Other than Keith having to train with the pups?"

"You'll meet your Uncle Ross and Aunt Sarah with Michael and Doram," Dad says. This wasn't much of a surprise for Keith and me because we always see Michael and Doram in school along with our other cousins, Airo, Manuel, Frier, Marco, and Moose. Yeah, our family is big.

"Where?" Iona asks. I can see her tense and nervous. I just cleared it from my mind, as I was excited at seeing them again.

"Well, that's the thing I need to discuss with you. They say they want to meet you now and take you to a fancy downtown restaurant. With us, of course, are you up to it?"

Iona nods, "Sure, but oh! I don't have anything to wear".

"Don'tWe'll go to the mall, I'm sure there might be time to buy something, right, babe?"g, right babe?" Mom asks Dad with puppy dog eyes. Dad, please do not fall into the trap.

"Well, they did say 7 pm, and it's only 1 now. So, maybe you guys do have time," Dad says.

I groan—stupid mating bond.

"Good, I will take your credit card, honey," Mom says as she dashes out of the living room along with her car keys "Let's go, Iona! KEITH JARED YOU GUYS TOO!"

Oh, joy.

IONA

Once again, we were in this horrid car that was faster than Jared's Hummer. I feel nauseous, but in a matter of freaking seconds, Aunt Farah stops and finally says we're here. I didn't know, but I realised I got out faster than I could get in. I drop to the parking lot without a care in the world while I feel my breakfast settling in my stomach.

Holding my stomach, I try not to vomit on the parking lot ground since I feel like it would be rude to do so. I suddenly feel someone raise me, "Are you alright?"

I shrug, "to say the least."

Jared helps me brush the dirt off my knees and hands. I keep wondering why, though, when I can do it on my own, even if they are overacting over my predicament. We then walked into the mall. I have only been in here once, but the noise and people keep freaking me out.

Even though all these things are happening in my life, I'm thankful that I got to be with these people, though I know I'll be leaving soon. I thought of the clothes that would undoubtedly be left in their care.

I know of the Mate theory, Doc already threw the idea at me, and I thought, No. I don't need a mate because I don't want one.

Sighing, I say, "Aunt, I'll go look around the other shops. Just stay here in case I don't find anything."

Aunty Farah gives me a once-over, trying to think if it's smart to let me out of her sight. "Okay, but be careful."

I nodded and left. I searched other shops for dresses, and I did try my hardest, but I found myself slacking off in a bookstore. I was checking on the books that aren't in plastic and tried to read the open ones.

I saw the new release poster and couldn't help but feel excited. I was about to take one of the books, but I felt someone's hand over mine. I think electricity travels through my nerves like I was struck by lightning.

The warmth and sparks went to the tips of my toes, and I looked up to see a guy with black hair that was very long and shaggy. A part of me wants to run my hand through his hair, but I bite my lip to stop myself.to stop myself. I notice his electric green eyes and the tattoos that I feel my mouth pop open, but I quickly close it and run to the ladies' room. The lady's room. I suddenly realise it's empty, and I'm relieved to see there is no one there. Sighing in relief, I start to wash my face.

DoDoggone it! I have a f*****g mate! This is what they used to tell you: it has to be the mate thing. I know it! The bedtime stories from your aunts were finally. I groan as I feel for the tissues with my eyes closed. My life is stupefyingly tragic. "Efficaciously tragic," a low husky voice says. My back straightens immediately at the sound of it; I know it. My heart starts palpitating at the thought of him following me here.

"Thank you", I say timidly. Taking the tissue since he had just offered it to me. "What are you doing here?" I ask that seems like a shriek

He frowns. No, he scowls as he sniffs the air, and his eyes land hard on me. His gaze makes me feel like I don't want to exist, that I shouldn't exist. "You're a human."

"No, duh!" I shout, I suddenly feel ashamed and mad at hearing how disgusted he was at learning I was human. I push him away, wanting to get as far away as possible.

Don't touch me!" he shouted. For a minute,e I felt like dying as my heart started to feel like crying, but I sucked it up and tried to ook unaffected. look unaffected. That is easier said than done.

"Uhm, sorry if I'm touching you, but..." I gulped, "You should go out of the ladies' room."

"I wouldn't have gone into this place. If only I had known my mate was a stinking human," he grumbles as he steps out of the inn. I suddenly felt the same pain when my cancer had moved up into stage three. It was a writhing pain in my chest like I couldn't breathe, and every part of my body felt like it was beaten up into pieces. But I think this one is different, more severe, and no drug can take me away from the pain. Tears trail down my cheeks while I bite my lip and run away.

My mate just rejected me. The most idiotic thing in that sentence is that I thought, I hoped even just a bit, that I could have a mate and he could save me. Confused by what I initially declared of not wanting a mate, but a dying girl could hope, right?

When I got close to the store where I left Aunt Farah, I noticed Jared and Keith were just outside. Sitting on the bench, waiting for either her or me. They soon looked up, and the two of them seemed bewildered, starting to move toward me. Jared just pulled me in a huge hug.

"What's wrong, Iona?" he asks, calming me down by running his hand on my back. "Are you sick? Should we go to a hospital?"

"It's nothing, I'm fine," I lie, while not looking at them. I really can't afford to look them in the eye because I'd break the truth if I did. I'm horrible at lying. You smell like someone, wait," I can feel him grab my hand and sniff it "You smell like...u smell like... The Fire Pack Alpha, Damiano"

I think my heart skipped at his name and broke into a thousand pieces, realising he didn't want me. "O-Oh, that's his name."

"What did he do Keith asks, "I swear, I'll beat him up to pieces--"up to pieces--"

"No, don't please, uhm, he asked directions, and I just answered him," I lie, still avoiding their gazes as I said it. The lies were already massive in my heart, and guilt started to swarm in my mind.

"he better be, and you should be as far away from him as possible," Keith says. He looks unconvinced. Still, he doesn't push it. "his pack is one of the ruthless ones in the werewolf world. He hates humans, and when one of his pack members has a human mate, it's either death for the two or banishment or looking for another. My eyes widened, horrified. He's going to look for another girl, or another girl.

"What's wrong? He hurt you, didn't he?" Keith says

And as if on cue, Aunty calls for me, and I pull them in the direction instead, "She calls, we've got to go."

THIRD POV

Farah bought a lovely cocktail dress. A midnight blue one, so Iona can use it for any other events that she wants to attend.

Twirling around in front of Farah, she let her hair fall on her shoulders and straightened it out with a comb. It still pained her that her mate had rejected her, and she was still deciding whether to tell her uncle.

But honestly, she's too scared that he'll freak out and go berserk. He'll go mad and declare war between his pack and theirs. The Blackfield brothers are known in North America for always being united as they are brothers by blood, which means their packs help each other.

She looks at her reflection in the mirror; her room was given to her by Farah. It was different from her old apartment because this one was warm with yellow walls, a cream-brown wood floor, a life-sized mirror, a queen-sized bed, a white dresser, and a walk-in closet. It feels a bit more like home than a hospital room or the lonely apartment where she temporarily lived.

She realises that the dress doesn't suit her, because it's not her style. She likes it, but not for her. She isn't pretty enough to carry it with confidence, nor is she healthy enough to have any sort of glow.

She starts playing with the lace tied at her waist. She's nervous about seeing her Uncle Ross and Aunty Sarah, and it even makes her have a date with her toilet, as she throws up every time she thinks about what's going on. Her mom might have known what to do, but she doesn't. She felt the need to throw up again while Farah trailed after her and held her hair back.d her hair back.

"Are you alright?" Farah asks softly. Pushing Iona's hair from her face as she threw up in the toilet.

Iona nods. "Yeah, just nervous."

"Okay, come on now, Iona. I'll give you something that'll take that nervousness out", Farah said as she helped Iona wash her face and sit on the bed.