Zadig

Chapter 2

The NOSE.

One Day _Azora_, as she was just return'd home from taking a short

Country airing, threw herself into a violent Passion, and swell'd

with Invectives. What, in God's Name, my Dear, said _Zadig_, has

thus ruffled your Temper? What can be the Meaning of all these warm

Exclamations? Alas! said she, you would have been disgusted as much

as I am, had you been an Eye-witness of that Scene of Female

Falshood, as I was Yesterday. I went, you must know, to visit the

disconsolate Widow _Cosrou_, who has been these two Days erecting a

Monument to the Memory of her young deceased Husband, near the Brook

that runs on one side of her Meadow. She made the most solemn Vow,

in the Height of her Affliction, never to stir from that Tomb, as

long as ever that Rivulet took its usual Course.--Well! and wherein,

pray, said _Zadig_, is the good Woman so much to blame? Is it not an

incontestable Mark of her superior Merit and Conjugal-Affection?

But, _Zadig_, said _Azora_, was you to know how her Thoughts were

employ'd when I made my Visit, you'd never forget or forgive her.

Pray, my dearest _Azora_, what then was she about? Why, the

Creature, said _Azora_, was studying, to be sure, to find out Ways

and Means to turn the Current of the River.

_Azora_, in short, harangu'd so long, and, was so big with her

Invectives against the young Widow, that her too affected, vain Shew

of Virtue, gave _Zadig_ a secret Disgust.

_Zadig_ had an intimate Friend, one _Cador_ by Name, whose Spouse

was perfectly honest, and had in reality a greater Regard for him,

than all Mankind besides: This Friend _Zadig_ made his Confident,

and bound him to keep a Project of his entirely a Secret, by a

Promise of some valuable Token of his Respect. _Azora_ had been

visiting a Female Companion for two Days together in the Country,

and on the third was returning home: No sooner, however, was she in

Sight of the House, but the Servants ran to meet her with Tears in

their Eyes, and told her, that their Master dy'd suddenly the Night

before; that they durstn't carry her the doleful Tidings, but were

going to bury _Zadig_ in the Sepulchre of his Ancestors, at the

Bottom of the Garden. She burst into a Flood of Tears; tore her

Hair; and vow'd to die by his Side. As soon as it was dark, young

_Cador_ came, and begg'd the Favour of being introduc'd to the

Widow. He was so, and they wept together very cordially. Next Day

the Storm was somewhat abated, and they din'd together; _Cador_

inform'd her, that his Friend had left him the much greater Part of

his Effects, and gave her to understand, that he should think

himself the happiest Creature in the World, if she would condescend

to be his Partner in that Demise. The Widow wept, sobb'd, and began

to melt. More Time was spent in Supper than at Dinner. They

discoursed together with a little more Freedom. _Azora_ was lavish

of her Encomiums on _Zadig_; but then, 'twas true, she said, he had

some secret Infirmities to which _Cador_ was a Stranger. In the

Midst of their Midnight Entertainment, _Cador_ all on a sudden

complain'd that he was taken with a most violent pleuretic Fit, and

was ready to swoon away. Our Lady being extremely concern'd, and

over-officious, flew to her Closet of Cordials, and brought down

every Thing she could think of that might be of Service on this

emergent Occasion. She was extremely sorry that the famous _Hermes_

was gone from _Babylon_, and condescended to lay her warm Hand upon

the Part affected, in which he felt such an agonizing Pain. Pray

Sir, said she, in a soft, languishing Tone, are you subject to this

tormenting Malady? Sometimes, Madam, said _Cador_, so strong, that

they bring me almost to Death's Door; and there is but one Thing can

infallibly cure me; and that is, the Application of a dead Man's

Nose to the part affected. An odd Remedy truly, said _Azora_. Not

stranger, Madam, said he, than the Great *_Arnon's_ infallible

Apoplectic Necklaces.