Zadig

Chapter 11

The Evening's Entertainment.

_Setoc_, who would never stir out without his Bosom-Friend (in whom

alone, as he thought, all Wisdom center'd) resolv'd to take him with

him to _Balzora_ Fair, whither the richest Merchants round the whole

habitable Globe, us'd annually to resort. _Zadig_ was delighted to

see such a Concourse of substantial Tradesmen from all Countries,

assembled together in one Place. It appear'd to him, as if the whole

Universe was but one large Family, and all happily met together at

_Balzora_. On the second Day of the Fair, he sat down to Table with

an _Egyptian_, an _Indian_, that liv'd on the Banks of the River

_Ganges_, an Inhabitant of _Cathay_, a _Grecian_, a _Celt_, and

several other Foreigners, who by their frequent Voyages towards the

_Arabian_ Gulf, were so far conversant with the _Arabic_ Language,

as to be able to discourse freely, and be mutually understood. The

_Egyptian_ began to fly into a Passion; what a scandalous Place is

this _Balzora_, said he, where they refuse to lend me a thousand

Ounces of Gold, upon the best Security that can possibly be offer'd.

Pray, said _Setoc_, what may the Commodity be that you would deposit

as a Pledge for the Sum you mention. Why, the Corpse of my deceased

Aunt, said he, who was one of the finest Women in all _Egypt_. She

was my constant Companion; but unhappily died upon the Road. I have

taken so much Care, that no Mummy whatever can equal it: And was I

in my own Country, I could be furnish'd with what Sum soever I

pleas'd, were I dispos'd to mortgage it. 'Tis a strange Thing that

Nobody here will advance so small a Sum upon so valuable a

Commodity. No sooner had he express'd his Resentment, but he was

going to cut up a fine boil'd Pullet, in order to make a Meal on't,

when an _Indian_ laid hold of his Hand, and with deep Concern, cried

out, For God's Sake what are you about? Why, said the _Egyptian_, I

design to make a Wing of this Fowl one Part of my Supper. Pray, good

Sir, consider what you are doing, said the _Indian_. 'Tis very

possible, that the Soul of the deceas'd Lady may have taken its

Residence in that Fowl. And you wouldn't surely run the Risque of

eating up your Aunt? To boil a Fowl is, doubtless, a most shameful

Outrage done to Nature. Pshaw! What a Pother you make about the

boiling of a Fowl, and flying in the Face of Nature, replied the

_Egyptian_ in a Pet; tho' we _Egyptians_ pay divine Adoration to the

Ox; yet we can make a hearty Meal of a Piece of roast Beef for all

that. Is it possible, Sir, that your Country-men should act so

absurdly, as to pay an Ox the Tribute of divine Worship, said the

_Indian_? Absurd as you think it, said the other, the Ox has been

the principal Object of Adoration all over _Egypt_, for these

hundred and thirty five thousand Years, and the most abandon'd

_Egyptian_ has never been as yet so impious as to gain-say it. Ay,

Sir, an hundred thirty five thousand Years, say you, surely you must

be out a little in your Calculation. 'Tis but about fourscore

thousand Years, since _India_ was first inhabited. Sure I am, we are

a more antient People than you are, and our _Brama_ prohibited the

eating of Beef long before your Nation ever erected an Altar in

Honour of the Ox, or ever put one upon a Spit. What a Racket you

make about your _Brama_! Is he able to stand the least in

Competition with our _Apis_, said the _Egyptian_? Let us hear, pray,

what mighty Feats have been done by your boasted _Brama_? Why,

replied the _Bramin_, he first taught his Votaries to write and

read; and 'tis to him alone, all the World is indebted for the

Invention of the noble Game of Chess. You are quite out, Sir, in

your Notion, said a _Chaldean_, who sat within Hearing: All these

invaluable Blessings were deriv'd from the Fish _Oann*_; and 'tis

that alone to which the Tribute of divine Adoration is justly due.

All the World will tell you, that 'twas a divine Being whose Tail

was pure Gold, whose Head resembled that of a Man, tho' indeed the

Features were much more beautiful; and that he condescended to visit

the Earth three Hours every Day, for the Instruction of Mankind. He

had a numerous Issue, as is very well known, and all of them were

powerful Monarchs. I have a Picture of it at Home, to which, as in

Duty I ought, I Say my Prayers at Night before I go to Bed, and

every Morning that I rise. There is no Harm, Sir, as I can conceive,

in partaking of a Piece of roast Beef; but, doubtless, 'tis a mortal

Sin, a Crime of the blackest Dye, to touch a Piece of Fish. Besides,

you cannot justly boast of so illustrious an Origin, and you are

both of you mere Moderns, in Comparison to us _Chaldeans_, You

_Egyptians_ lay claim to no more than 135,000 Years, and you

_Indians_, but of 80,000. Whereas we have Almanacks that are dated

4000 Centuries backwards. Take my Word for it; I speak nothing but

Truth; renounce your Errors, and I'll make each of you a Present of

a fine Portrait of our _Oann*_.

A Native of _Cambalu_, entring into the Debate, said, I have a very

great Veneration, not only for the _Egyptians_, _Chaldeans_,

_Greeks_, and _Celt*; but for _Brama_, _Apis_, and the _Oann*_,

but in my humble Opinion, the *_Li_, or as 'tis by some call'd,

the *_Tien_, is an Object more deserving of divine Adoration than

any Ox, or Fish, how much soever you may boast of their respective

Perfections. All I shall say, in regard to my native Country, 'tis

of much greater Extent, than all _Egypt_, _Chaldea_, and the

_Indies_ put together. I shall lay no Stress on the Antiquity of my

Country; for I imagine 'tis of much greater Importance to be the

happiest People, than the most antient under the Sun. However, since

you were talking of the Almanacks, I must beg the Liberty to tell

you, that ours are look'd upon to be the best all over _Asia_; and

that we had several very correct ones before the Art of Arithmetick

was ever heard of in _Chaldea_.