Jeremy:
“How’s he?” I meet Nicholas outside the ward door in the hospital. His hair is frizzy and his eyes are tired. He sighs and stares at the door.
“He’s okay now,” he responds. “The doctor did say his blood sugar levels are low, they are going to run some other tests tomorrow and recommend new meds. You want to see him now?”
“Who has been here so far?” I ask him, a few nurses pass in the hallway and glances at Nicholas and I, they avert their gazes and continue walking.
“Some uncles and aunts. It’s not serious, so a bit of our cousins are going to check up on him tomorrow morning.”
I nod tiredly, the moment Nicholas called me, I had briefly informed Emma and rushed here, worst case scenarios playing in my head. To hear that he’s okay brings me so much relief, I can’t let anything happen to my grandfather, he has always been my strongest source of motivation.
“Can I see him now?” I ask tiredly, and Nicholas nods.
“Nicole is in there.” His voice drops to a whisper and I back away a bit. It’s not like Nicole and I are not on good terms, but hell my own cousin scares me. Though she scares everybody, including her own twin brother. That’s why she and grandfather are very close, because they are so alike.
The door of the hospital creaks open and Nicole creeps out, eyeing us suspiciously. I swallow and try smiling but the frown she shoots my way wipes the smile out of my face.
“Nicole, how are you?” I ask but she completely ignores me and turns towards her brother who nods stiffly and leaves the floor. Since they are twins, I guess it’s easier to understand themselves using eye signals.
“Cut it off, Jeremy.” Nicole stares at me, stuffing her hands in her signature Tom Ford jumpsuit pocket. “You’re my cousin so I am just going to dash this in very softly. If you hurt Emma again, I will kill you. Seriously, I will kidnap you and take delight in snapping all your fingers out one by one.”
“Nicole.” I wince, trying not to imagine the memory. “It wasn’t my fault; I did it to keep her safe. Do you really see me as this selfish asshole?”
“You stole her game, her work, her dreams.” Nicole seethes, gritting her teeth. “What does that make you if not a selfish asshole?”
The words land more brutally than expected. I search her face but her eyes are empty. This is Nicole Hart, always saying whatever she thinks and it hurts to know that she thinks of me as a selfish asshole.
“You’re my cousin.” I manage to say and she blinks, as though those words are foreign.
“Emma’s my best-friend.” She looks at the door, and back at me. “Glad to know where we stand. If you hurt Emma, I won’t hesitate to ruin you financially, emotionally and physically. Even Grandpa won’t be able to stop me.” Without waiting, she turns around and leaves. I stand stunned and shocked.
I push the door of the hospital room open and step inside. My grandpa stares at me, a crease in his forehead. He’s sitting up and trying to grab a glass of water on the night stand.
“I will help you with that.” I rush towards his side, and laugh. “One day, you’re going to hurt your old bones.”
He looks at me, and sighs. “You know, Jeremy. I have always known you as a fun kid, you laugh and you play but in between, you wore it like a shield. It wouldn’t hurt to say you aren’t okay once in a while.”
“You should be worrying about yourself, Grandpa. You collapsed.” I say but seeing the frown on his face, I look away and massage the nape of my neck. “Nicole hates me, she freaking despises me.”
“I know, she takes after me.” My grandfather pats me in the shoulder as I sit on the edge of the bed. “But on the other hand, she was wrong to just assume the worst of you. You’re my grandson and I love you.”
I am momentarily stunned, it’s not everyday I see my grandfather saying he loves me, but somehow, it helps.
“Thank you.”
I spend the next minutes talking to my grandfather; his dry humour helps lighten my heavy heart a bit. When I come back home, the house is quiet and I am guessing that Emma is already asleep. I go to my room, turn on the lights and flop on the edge of the bed.
Nicole’s words from earlier come back to me, ringing in my ears. Why can’t she just understand that I would never do anything in my entire life to intentionally hurt Emma? I drag my hands through my messy curls when there’s a knock on my bedroom door.
“Jeremy,” says Emma’s voice from behind the door, “You still up?”
My voice is hoarse. “Yeah.”
Emma lets herself into my room and my breath hitches. The oversized shirt that she is wearing stops mid-thigh, revealing her long legs. Damn it. Those worried amber eyes stay fixated on me. “Is grandpa alright?”
“Yeah, it wasn’t that serious. His blood sugar levels are low, so probably they are going to prescribe another round of meds for him. He’s going to be okay.” I say, watching as she stands in the doorway with hesitation. “Did you want to check on me?”
“Yes,” she sighs, and steps closer. She sits beside me on the bed and really looks at me; we’re so close our knees are almost touching. So why are all my insides freezing just because of this almost mere contact? “I know how much you love him.”
My chest squeezes and I look elsewhere. She is right, I do love my grandfather and she has seen every stage of him. I don’t talk about what Nicole said to me, because it’s haunting me. What if whatever this is won’t work out? What if Emma launches her new game and I still can’t get her to forgive me? What if—
“Let’s work on our game.” Emma says, cutting the silence. I now realize that she has been holding an iPad; she swipes at the screen and opens a folder that reads ‘Demo game.’
“What’s the look for?” she crosses her hand. “Didn’t you say you wanted to work on a game together?”
“I did.” I sigh. Emma inches closer, pulling up her coding app on the screen. She shows me a couple of codes that she had written earlier today and how it contributes to the game.
We start sketching the character design together, picking out relevant outfits. At some point, my weary spirit is lifted and I laugh, we both joke about the weapons and it’s like I am transported to when we were twenty again in our dorm room, drinking energy drinks and eating from boxes of pizzas.
Now, I realize that those days weren’t beautiful because of my love for games. Those games were beautiful because I had Emma, she was always there, in every phase of my life, we had our first eChampionship together, we had matching t-shirts of every game that came out. And I would relive it all over again if it meant that she would be there.
By half past midnight, we are exhausted and sprawled on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Thank you.” I nudge her shoulder gently. “I really needed this.”
“Of course.” She mutters quietly and it’s hard to tell what is going through her mind at this very moment. When she turns to look at me, her bright amber eyes are twinkling. “I can’t wait for when my game launches. Then I can have my house all to myself.” She chuckles but I am frozen in surprise.
There’s the truth hidden in her sentence: she wants nothing to do with me after she gets what she wants and yes, that’s what we agreed on, but I am trying. God, I am trying so hard so she can give me a second chance, but I doubt if she wants that.
Does she still see me as the Jeremy of the past? Or an entirely new different person?
She sits upright, rubbing her eyes. “It’s late already. I have to get back to my room.”
‘Stay with me.’ I want to say, reach for her and pull her close. ‘We can talk about everything and nothing at once,’ but of course, I don’t say that because Nicole’s words are already ringing again. “Yeah, you’re right. Goodnight, Em.”
She looks at me for a second, before blinking. “Goodnight, Jeremy.” I watch as she leaves my room and the ache growing in my chest intensifies the more.