Teach Me How to Please, Alpha

(12) DAMNED BECAUSE OF A KISS

Ryder

“I never thought that your ability to keep a secret was in doubt, but I’d add that among the piling things I need to worry about when it comes to you,” he sharply retorted then exhaled. “I don’t want to fight, Ryder.”

I scoffed. “Hard to believe seeing that you sought me out.”

“I just thought we could have a proper conversation. It has been almost five months since I saw you. Seeing Fiona with her daughter reminded me that we used to talk for hours.”

I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned. “Seems like it also made you forget that I leaped for your neck the last time we spoke,”

“You’re taking the suppressants right?” He suddenly asked, unable to look at me.

That was what I hoped to see when I turned.

His discomfort as he asked his own child whether he was taking a drug that caused excruciating pain and forced him to live without his wolf. Good.

That’s what trying to have a conversation led to.

I turned to leave.

“Ryder,” he called out. It was his Alpha’s voice.

And even though I knew it was unintentional, my wolf snarled and in seconds he was backed against the wall and my lips were pulled back to reveal my teeth, my jaw snapping. “Don’t order me around.” I growled.

His eyes darkened and I could see him clenching his fists as he tried to suppress the urge to hurt me, as his jaws snapped back hoping my wolf would back down in the face of the terrifying violence that his wolf promised.

But I was always an overachiever. Perfect grades. Inexplicable strength. Bloody ass stubborn wolf.

Dad growled from the chest, his wolf flashing his fangs, determined to exert its dominance on me.

My wolf growled back, trying to take over. I screamed, my hand on my neck as my wolf fought to shift, constricting my breath so it could weaken my reins on it. I reached for my pocket and fished around for the packet that I always kept with me.

In seconds, I’d dropped a pill into my mouth and a moment later, I was showing Reid my neck even as my heart pounded with the need to put my fangs in his instead.

I took a few breaths and took a step backward and then another.

It was another few minutes before Reid reached for me.

My eyes flashed at the movement. “Don’t,” I warned. “You have a new family now, a perfect child for when next you feel the urge to have a conversation. Just let me be.” I turned on my heels and headed for the door.

The whole house was warded to be soundproof—as most wolves frequented the pack house to discuss confidential information with Reid, and it’d be counterproductive if any wolf around could overhear. Hence why Isla’s mouth was still full when I reappeared. To her, everything was still going great.

“I’d wait for you in the car,” I spat out, before walking out ignoring Fiona’s worried gaze even as Isla immediately grabbed her bag, hastily kissed her on the cheeks and ran after me.

Of course she was worried that her innocent little daughter was cohabiting with a big bad wolf.

But she had no choice but to maintain this farce of us being a family. So, I’d watch her struggle to voice her concerns at the dining table with almost concealed gratification.

“I thought that went well.” Isla said confused as I fired out of the driveway.

“Yes. Until I felt the urge to tear my father’s neck.”

Her mouth fell open.

The remaining ride back home was quiet.

***

Do you want to talk about it?” Isla asked.

It has been fifteen minutes since we got back home after I’d challenged the alpha of my pack, also known as my dad and had been reminded of all the reasons why I was a visitor in my home.

Both of us were in the living room which was very unusual. I was always in the room when she was seeing a show and vice versa.

Isla had a book in front of her that I could have sworn she wasn’t reading since she had been on one page since she started. While I sat scrolling mindlessly on my phone. I was aware the uncomfortable silence that had settled over us since leaving the pack house had to be broken eventually, but I had no intention of being the one to do it.

“No,” I replied matter of factly. There were a lot of conversations I’d rather pick over discussing my wolf’s urge to kill my father. “Besides, I’m fine.”

“Are you?” She arched her brow, her eyes knowing.

“I’m good.” I insisted.

She nodded at the floor and that was when I realized that my left foot had been bouncing the whole time. “I don’t think you’re good.”

I stopped the movement. “I would be.”

She smiled tightly. “And I thought our hug was meant to settle you.”

There were a lot of things I’d felt when Isla's body had been pressed to mine and settled hadn’t made the list. But it had worked; I’d managed to stay in a confined space with my father on amicable terms for more than thirty minutes. A record. Until, well… things escalated.

“It helped,” I admitted. “Trust me. Among all the omega healers that have tried to soothe me, you’re the only one that has come close.”

“Oh,” she mumbled and then looked away. I didn’t need to see her face to know she had turned a delicious shade of red.

And I wasn’t even trying to make her blush.

If I was, I would have told her that having her perky t**s against my body might have soothed my wolf but it had also put ideas into its head.

But there was teasing and there was just shooting yourself in the foot.

Talking about Isla’s body especially when I knew what she looked like when she wasn’t hiding in ugly oversized clothes… remembering that night with her in thin camisole and short shorts would just be punishment.

“I’d talk about it if you tell me what you and your mother were whispering about.” I was mildly curious.

“She was just making sure that I knew what lines not to cross as we are both unmated and of opposite genders.” She said with a shrug.

“No,” I said with a smirk. “She was making sure you knew what lines you should stop me from crossing. You’re her good little angel while I’m trouble.”

She frowned, “I’m not a good little angel.”

“Yet your wings are showing,” I teased.

She rolled her eyes. “Tell me yours, I told you mine.”

I shrugged. “It just sucks that my wolf cannot stand my only family in the world, no offense to you or your mother but no family brunch is going to make you guys my family.”

She nodded. “No offense taken since I’m on the same page.”

“The crazy thing is that I love Reid, my dad.” I smiled. “Before my shift, we went for jogs and camping trips. He taught me how to ride a bike and how to work the griller. He was a great father and a good man. And then my wolf came and,” I paused, I hated reliving this story. I smirked at Isla, “f**k I hate him so much. I know it isn’t his fault that I’m so twisted and hard to love because my wolf always wants to kill him… but I’d hoped he’d love me still,” I grinned. “I sound crazy right? Who would love someone who is actively trying to kill them?”

“Parents,” Isla said with a shrug.

“But he didn’t. He’d abandon me back at home and would go on long trips for days, sometimes months like he was trying to avoid something. I tried to assure myself it wasn’t because of me, thinking back to all the memories we shared pre-shift. But the thing is, when you think too much, Isla, it starts to hurt.

I mean I was a kid and I was confused. I hated but yet wanted my dad and he was just gone. So yeah, I think it sucks massively that he is willing to tolerate me now because of you and your mother. But the truth is that I'm still damaged, cursed… Just wasting away hating my wolf, hating myself, hating my dad.” I finished. “The end.”

Isla nodded slowly. “Feel better?”

“No,” I gruffly muttered. “Not even a little bit.”

“Want a hug?” Her voice was too quiet, even as she stood up.

I shrugged as she made her way towards me.

I stood up hoping for a quick one armed thirty seconds awkward pause. I wouldn’t mind if it meant another second that I won’t need a suppressant.

But instead of stepping into my arms, Isla pushed me. I fell back more as a result of shock than the force she had exerted.

She crowded me, her hand on my neck for support as she climbed onto my lap and straddled me. Her legs settled on either side of me as I watched her, stunned.

“Isla…” my words trailed off as she grabbed one of my hands and placed it on her ass, then she leaned into me and closed the space between our lips.

It was a brief peck, a smack even, her lips on mine for mere seconds and then she was leaning back.

A groan slipped from my lips as I grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her back in. A redo was in order.

If I’m going to be damned because of a kiss, it has to at least involve tongue.