Russkaya Mafiya

Chapter 7

EMILY

The girls are talking quickly and excitedly about the day when we get to the apartment. I open the door and choke out a loud gasp as it hits me. Blinking frantically, I take in the entire area.

Every surface in the apartment is covered in white rose petals. The smell. The smell hits me and I lean over, resting my hands on my thighs as I gag. I knew my life was too good to be true today. The apartment smells strongly of the monster's body spray I used to love him wearing.

I feel a tear burn as it runs down my cheek but I'm unable to speak, it's like I blank out. I glare over at London and see she's gone ashy and has tears streaming down her face. She knows what this is, she knows what this means. London knew. She had to. This means he is here. This means he has found me.

I whisper brokenly to London, "You knew."

Avery looks confused but comes up and hugs me. "What's going on, girl, what's with the flowers, and why are you guys so upset?" She looks confused. She may be my friend, but this is no one's business. She needs to go home where it's safe for her.

"It's nothing, Avery." I try to avoid her question, sucking in some of my emotions that are dying to break free and allow me to freak out.

London shrieks, heatedly, "Bullshit! It's not nothing! It's everything! You can't keep dealing with this alone. You can't keep hiding from this. Tell her or I will, people need to know."

I glare at London as she yells this in my face; she knows this is my f*****g secret. No one needs to know what I went through, what I continue to go through. He doesn't deserve to be talked about or cried over.

I look at Avery and nod my head. Fine, they want to hear some of the details of how f****d up I let my life get, fine.

"f**k it, whatever. But don't you dare f*****g cry about it. He doesn't deserve the tears; he doesn't even deserve my words." I mumble out, defeated.

I walk to my bedroom and get my pistol. I'll be damned if he does that to me again. I want Tate, so I have to fight this time.

Muttering angrily as I enter the room again, "I'm not telling her everything. I can't deal with talking about it all. I'll tell you a few highlights about the monster, Avery. First off, this is the monster's work, we don't say his name; he doesn't get that privilege."

I look from London's grief-stricken face to Avery's curious but cautious one and begin.

***

EMILY

Two years ago...

I still can't get over the fact that I'm pregnant. I'm going to be a mommy! I can't wait to tell London all about this.

Maybe this is just the sort of thing that Jeremy needs to start treating me better, the way he used to. This could be exactly what we need and it's all because of you, M. I'm going to call you M, because you're my tiny miracle. I promise I'm going to be the best momma ever.

Let's see, Jeremy will be home in about two hours. I'm going to shower and get all freshened up. After I'm done, I'll cook a nice dinner. I hope he didn't get upset at work today. I know the factory stresses him out. Maybe now he will understand that it's good I take all those college courses online. I'll be able to get a job after the baby's born and he will have less stress to deal with.

I prepare one of his favorite chicken dishes and place it into the oven to cook. It should be ready right before he gets home.

I take a deep, anxious breath and promise myself that everything will be fine. Jeremy will stop being so mean to me all of the time. He's even started slapping me a couple of times when he says I screw up. Now that I'm pregnant though I know he will stop. It's not good for our little M.

Jeremy will be so happy to have someone else to love him and show him attention. He's obsessive about having all of my focus. I'll call London with the good news after I let Jeremy know.

I stuff my cheap phone into my back jeans pocket, that way it's ready after I get done celebrating the good news. I wonder what Granddaddy will say when I get to tell him. He will probably be excited to have a little one around, as long as I'm happy.

The oven timer dings and I grab my mitts to pull the chicken out of the oven. I place the large casserole dish on our little table I have set up for us and grab the bread. I pour a tall glass of milk for myself and straighten out the silverware for the third time.

I can hear the rumble of Jeremy's truck as he pulls up. I'm excited for him to be home. Lately, I have been dreading it, but today is a joyful day.

The front door slams open and it makes my heart speed up. I've developed a little bit of anxiety. The doctor calls them mini panic attacks, but that can't be right because I have no real reason to be stressed.

I have flutters in my belly when Jeremy steps inside. Not butterflies, but I almost feel as if I want to puke. It's probably the baby. Oh no, I forgot about the morning sickness. I hope it's after Jeremy goes to work, because he won't like it cutting into his time.

I smile, it may appear a little fake but hopefully he will be too distracted with dinner on the table to notice. He looks grouchy and worn out. The factory and stress have been aging him.

He has grey eyes and long black hair that he tucks behind his ears. Girls in high school thought he was hot but Jeremy's very shy. I was one of the only girls to talk to him regularly, so he asked me to be his girlfriend after a while.

Jeremy has a long, muscular body like a swimmer. He's always dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt. He has always reminded me more of a musician. He looks like he could be some depressed rock singer on stage.

I look into his eyes and smile for real this time, thinking about M. I'm excited to tell him our news. I know it will cheer him up.

He looks at me surprised, "You cooked Ritz Chicken, boo?"

"Yes, Jeremy, I know it's one of your favorites."

"And it's done when I get home? Maybe you're finally learning, boo, but where's my tea? Gotta put some more effort into it, Emily."

"Right, sorry. I'll get it. I have some great news to share with you."

"Oh yeah? Tell me this great news you have." He grumbles out.

I'm not going to let it dampen my spirits. Today is about M and our future.

"I went to Dr. Anderson's office this morning."

"How did you get there?" he asks as he sits at our ugly little table and begins to cut into his chicken.

"Oh, I took a cab, I was unwell." I give him my most innocent look, hoping he won't get angry.

"Great, Emily. You're wasting more f*****g money, just like those bullshit college courses." He shakes his head at me as if he's disappointed and I cringe.

Suddenly he slams his hand down on the table so forcefully the glass holding my milk shatters. Milk spills, flooding the table. Oh no. Where's a towel so I can hurry and clean this up? Jeremy hates messes and I need to get it cleaned up as fast as possible.

I leap up quickly to grab a towel. Once I clean up the mess and he starts to chew his food, I sit and try again.

"Dr. Anderson did a test and found out I'm pregnant; I'm about six weeks she thinks." I grin, because this is it, I know he will jump up and hug me.

"What did you just say?" He growls out lowly.

Oh no, he doesn't look too excited. f**k! This was supposed to go a whole lot better than this.

"Umm, I said I'm pregnant. Isn't that wonderful?" I ask timidly.

Jeremy jumps up suddenly and stuff goes flying off the table when he hits it with his thighs. I leap up and out of the way at the crash and immediately attempt to hide my face with my hands.

He storms toward me swiftly and punches me straight in the face. The impact is so solid and painful, I stumble. Jeremy comes at me again; he hits me so hard, that this time I fall. On my way down I hit my head on the wall next to the kitchen table.

***

Ten minutes later...

I must have blacked out. I wake to Jeremy screaming, "You will not be some filthy, f*****g, pregnant teenage slut in this house. You think I'll let everyone talk about me and my knocked-up w***e of a girlfriend."

He repeatedly kicks me brutally in my stomach. My head is pounding something fierce and I'm in pain like I've never experienced before. My vision is hazy, feeling like I'm stuck in a horrifying nightmare, only I know I won't wake up to happiness.

My body is screaming in pain at me with each blow he deals. It hurts so horribly, I start to puke everywhere and I pee my pants. I can't help it. I sob as I wrap my hands around my stomach as much as I can.

He starts laughing maniacally, "You think you can protect yourself from me? You stupid b***h, I'll fix your problem."

Jeremy kicks me one last time really-really hard and I gasp. The air is knocked from my lungs and I feel as if I'm suffocating. There's this huge weight on my chest and I think I may pass out again.

The only other time I've felt this feeling is when I lost my mother. That agonizing pain in your chest as a piece of you breaks.

He grits out, disgusted, "Now, you clean yourself up and get rid of that f*****g problem you have. Don't ever tell me any dumb s**t like that again. I can't believe you made me hit you again. I f*****g swear, Emily, get your act together. I'll be back; I can't deal with your s**t right now."

Once the door slams I try my best to get my phone out. London can help me. I feel like I'm dying.

***

Two weeks later...

I spend two weeks in the hospital. I guess I'm ‘fortunate' there is no internal bleeding. They have no idea what fortunate means.

Little M is gone. My precious, innocent baby was stolen from me. He was condemned to his father's wrath and I was unable to save him.

I know this is not the life I want. I know I have to get away and although I'm too broken and sick inside to do anything right now, I will do it. One day he will come home and I will be gone, just like my little M.

***

Three weeks later...

It's been a total of five weeks now, since I lost my precious baby and discovered the true monster I'm living with. That is what he is, a monster. I hate him and it makes me sick when he touches me. I wish that he would just die. Each day I imagine him getting crushed when he goes to work at the factory. I want him to suffer.

Thankfully the doctors told him to not be intimate with me for a few weeks or I'd have to go back to the hospital. He doesn't like to draw attention so that helped me out some. Jeremy stayed away for three weeks, but after that, he said I'd just have to "get over my shit."

Things have slowly gone back to our ‘normal.' Jeremy works, comes home to dinner made, complains, treats me like crap, and has slapped me twice this week. He's no longer worried about breaking my nose since he broke it when he punched me.

Jeremy says he has to keep me on my toes, to teach me how to be a good wife to him someday. I will never be his wife. I hate him. This hate inside me grows with each insult, each slap, and each rough f**k he makes me endure.

It's Thursday now, I know I have one day left for him to go to work before he's off for the weekend. I can't handle being home with him for two full days; he will probably end up killing me. I have to do this, I have to get out.

Once Granddaddy finds out what Jeremy's been doing, he will shoot his ass with his favorite twelve-gauge shotgun. I can't believe London has kept my secret for this long. She said I have till Saturday to tell Granddaddy then she's doing it. I hope I can get it out and tell him by then. I know she cares about me, but she has no idea how hard it is.

I'm essentially trapped. I know inside that if I leave he will hurt me if he gets ahold of me again. It will hurt me more at this point to stay than it would to leave and he come after me.

I can't get ahold of London. I think she's still at work. I have to go now if I'm going to make it to Granddaddy's before it's time for Jeremy to get off work.

I pull on my black and pink Converse sneakers. I sling my backpack onto my shoulders as I leave my bedroom. Trekking to the living room, I grab up my duffle bag, and then start walking to Granddad's house.

I'm about a mile down the dirt road we live on when I see it. Jeremy's old blue pick-up truck is flying down the dirt road in front of me. I know he sees me, I hope he just drives past and leaves me alone.

Damn it! He never comes home early. I wonder if he found out somehow. But how? I have only told London about it over the phone, when he was at work. He's never really told me I can't leave; he just implies that I'll be his wife one day.

The truck skids to a stop in front of me and I start to shake. Don't puke, don't puke, please don't puke.

He climbs out, "Where ya' goin', babe?" He gazes at the backpack on my back and the duffle bag in my hand.

I chuckle nervously. "Oh, I was just going to visit Granddaddy for a few hours."

I can't look him in the eyes. He knows I'm lying through my teeth right now. I don't know why I do it. Maybe to see how far he will let me go with it or maybe to try to buy myself some time.

"That right?" He replies in a curious tone, raising his eyebrows. "Going for a few hours and taking all your clothes, huh? You know what I think? I think you're trying to leave me, babe. However, I don't remember permitting you to go anywhere."

His fist comes flying at me and hits my left eye. f**k! The face again? The hit makes me stumble back into the side of the truck. He uses my stumble to get closer and hits me in the face again.

Jeremy throws my bags in the back of the truck and picks me up around my waist. He puts me in his truck and slams the door. I don't dare move, because I know it will only make things worse. At this point, I still have a chance of London magically knocking on the door at the house.

I'm sobbing hysterically; my face feels like I was just hit with a brick. My head rings as if I have a huge headache, pressing down behind my eyes. I feel like I'm going to puke, but I hold it down. I know he would hurt me more if I get sick in his truck. I feel my face bleeding and it's hot, like it's on fire. I hope Jeremy doesn't hurt me because of the blood making a mess.

He glances at me and snarls, "That's okay, you f*****g teenage w***e, we will go home and fix this. You think I'll let you go?" He huffs, "You stupid, stupid f*****g girl. I will f*****g bury your ass in the backyard if I have to before I let you go." He shakes his head, wagging his pointer finger at me. "I've been too nice, too easy on you. I will teach you though, just wait. You will f*****g learn, even if I have to beat it into your f*****g piece-of-s**t skull." Jeremy rambles the same thing over and over, the entire way home.

He lifts me out of the truck, throws me over his shoulder, and starts trudging through the small house to our bedroom. I watch the carpet and wood wall paneling fly by me as we walk down the hallway. I can only see out of my right eye; my left is swollen shut already. I watch the tan carpet and all I can think of is how Jeremy's going to kill me this time.

We enter our room and he tosses me on the bed. Jeremy heads to the dresser, grabbing the rope out of the top drawer. The scratchy, blue rope is left over from when he forcibly ties me up. Sometimes he wants complete control when he f***s me and the ropes stop me from fighting him.

I have the scars on my arms and legs to prove to myself that I'm a fighter. With his menacing expression, I know that this one is seriously going to hurt. I can't go through this again.

Jeremy starts walking toward me and I shake my head, starting to blubber false promises. I have tears streaming down my face; I know I'm snotty and have blood all over me. I think he cut my forehead when he punched me the second time.

I swallow, clearing my throat, attempting to plead with him, "No, no, no, please, Jeremy, I'll be good, I promise." I swallow down my next sob, "I promise to be good, please don't tie me up, please," I beg.

Jeremy glares down at me like he's disgusted with me, "Don't worry, I'm not going to touch your ugly ass right away, but I'm f*****g tying you up since you seem to think you're free to roam wherever you want to. I bet that kid wasn't even mine!" He shakes the rope in front of my face angrily, "You f*****g w***e, you were out roaming, weren't you?"

I shake my head rapidly and can feel my lips start to tremble with my anxiety. I choke out, "Never." I know he will severly hurt me if he starts thinking this way.

Luckily he only ties one of my hands to the bedpost and leaves the other one free. Jeremy turns around and slams the bedroom door shut as he walks out. Thank God he's cocky and makes this mistake.

Since the last time he put me in the hospital, I have learned to hide phones. I have two cheap prepaid phones hidden, both set on silent. I have one under the bed, tucked into the bed frame and the other phone is taped under the kitchen sink. I figured it would be smart to put one on each side of the house in case of an emergency.

I wiggle my way to reach over the side of the bed. I feel around for a few rushed seconds until I'm able to fight with the tape enough to get the phone out. I power the cell up, breathing deeply to keep myself from expelling my stomach contents everywhere.

I ring London before I even untie my hand, just in case he comes back. I want him to believe everything is the way he left it, if that happens. Thank God London knows this is an emergency number and answers after the first ring.

I whisper the best I can, "London, park where your car's hidden and walk to my bedroom window. He can't see you; I think he's going to kill me."

"I'm almost there, already. Your granddaddy said you never showed up when I stopped by a few minutes ago." That's all she says and she hangs up. When London gets freaked out she doesn't talk very much.

I start working on my bound wrist. The rope cuts into my wrist because Jeremy wrapped it so tightly. I have tears running uncontrollably down my face but I make myself stay quiet. I'm thanking my lucky stars right now he wasn't a boy scout and I'm able to get the rope untied.

As soon as I'm free, I tuck the cell into my back pocket. I shuffle to the window and open it as quietly as possible. I can hear the sound of Jeremy's beloved TV in the living room so it gives me some cover noise. I also have to listen extra carefully because I can't hear him if he walks down the hall.

As soon as the window is open I stick my feet through first to crawl out. The house is an older ranch style with two bedrooms, and one bathroom. The outside has tan paint peeling off of it everywhere. Our yard has large dirt patches all over because Jeremy refuses to spend the money to water it.

The window to our room is in the back of the house and there's no fence on this side, so I just have to make it to the road. The distance isn't much, but being beaten and hurting, makes it seems three times farther than it normally is.

Hobbling forward, I start to run on shaky legs, toward the road. I see London ahead in the distance, she's half way between me and her car. I start to run the fastest I've ever run in my life.

It's hard and I feel so dizzy and nauseous from the hits to my face. I can't hear anything. It feels like a bunch of white noise in my head. I can feel the dirt and tiny rocks under my sneakers as my feet pound the ground as I run. London starts waving her hands like hurry up.

Doesn't she know I'm running as fast as I can? I see London has the driver's side and passenger side doors already open, waiting for us to jump in. I pump my arms at my sides, attempting to gain more speed. My life is in jeopardy and it's time for me to fight back again, even if that means escaping.

All of a sudden the noise hits me like a blast of hot air and it's nothing but screaming. I hear Jeremy behind me. OH MY GOD, RUN! I can hear him running so I know he must be close. I focus all of my energy to run as fast as possible.

London's screaming for me to hurry. I make it to her and she grabs my arm and helps pull me to the car. Maybe I was running slower than I thought?

We pull harshly, slamming the doors and London locks them. Jeremy reaches her car right after we get the doors shut. He tries to pull on my door handle but London takes off just in time.

London presses completely down on the gas and peels the tires out in our rush. He slams both hands on the rear of the car and screams. I don't know what he screams and I don't ever want to find out. I've never seen him look so irate before.

I face London, and brokenly mutter, "Take me to Granddaddy's, please."

"f**k that! Granddaddy's meeting us at the police station. I already called him when I hung up on you. That sick bastard back there is going to jail this time."

"I couldn't agree more with you."

***

Now...

I blink, shuddering and it's like coming out of a dream. I hate to go there. I hate to relive those memories. Those were some of the worst days of my life.

I will never forget my little M. My one piece of happiness out of it all and he didn't even make it. I can't imagine going through everything while being pregnant. I have to keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason, even if it hurts and I don't understand that reason.

I gaze over at Avery and London; they are both weeping quietly and look heartbroken. I wipe my face, attempting to pull myself together and to leave those horrid thoughts in the past, where they belong.

Avery comes to me and hugs me tight, "I'm s-so s-sorry about little M. My God, you poor woman, I had no idea you had been through so much hurt. I always figured you had a story, but I never imagined it would be like that." She looks at me with sadness and compassion. It makes me feel a little better to have opened up to her, keeping secrets is so draining.

London walks over to us, staring at Avery, "It was horrible, Avery. It was completely awful seeing your best friend like that and not being able to make her leave. I love her so much, I always have, and I just want her to be safe and ha-happy."

I hug London as she says this and kiss her cheek. I'm so fortunate to have her. I probably wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for London.

"So what happened after; where has he been?" Avery wipes her face with her hands.

Sighing, I rub my temples, remembering more of it. "The police took pictures and documented my side of everything. I pressed charges against Jeremy and I gave the hospital consent to release my information. The hospital sent over all of my information from when he put me in there and what the doctor had believed happened in his notes. I guess when we left the house and went to the station, Jeremy went to London's house to try to find me." London huffs irritably, shaking her head in exasperation. "Jeremy got into it bad with London's older brother, Elliot. They got into a big fist fight and then Elliot pressed charges against Jeremy. It still wasn't going to be enough in court, so London called a few nights later and made a false report. She told the cops Jeremy had broken into her parents' house and threatened to kill her, Elliot, and me."

I shrug, winding my fingers together, nervously. "I wasn't even there, but Elliot and I lied and told them the same story London had."

"That's smart, you guys." Avery inserts and we both nod at her.

"When we went to court, the judge ended up being a lady my grandmamma had babysat. Once she realized who I was, she pulled me into her chambers. The judge asked me to tell her everything, so I did. She said that if my grandmamma was alive she would've protected me. I guess my grandmamma had protected the judge from something really bad happening to her. She wouldn't say what it was, but that she owed it to my grandmamma to make sure she returned the favor and protected me." A warm tear trickles down my cheek as I think of how different things could have been if my family were alive at that time.

Sniffling, I continue, "A few days later, the judge ruled. She said Jeremy showed signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder with signs of detachment, he has stalker like tendencies, anger problems, shows obsessive qualities, and may be a danger to himself. He was denied bail. While he was in jail he got into a few fights. He ended up having to do some more jail time. I was expecting two years but it looks like he has gotten out early."

"Holy s**t, all that and only two years!" Avery looks amazed and like it's unbelievable.

"Yes, he had never been in trouble with the law before and in order for the cops to do anything, there have to be several ‘documented' occurrences where I pressed charges against him. I was the dumb one and only pressed charges against him once. It was really all the fights after, which got him the actual jail time. Welcome to the justice system."

"Geez, that's crazy. So you came to Tennessee to start over? Weren't you scared he would know?"

"Well, London and I had always talked about this being one of the colleges we wanted to go to together. I never could come to school here because Jeremy controlled every part of my life." I gesture to London, "and London couldn't afford it either. My granddaddy passed right around the same time all this stuff happened. I got left with our house, his pickups, and some insurance money. He had also saved all the insurance money from my momma's death, so I got everything. When Jeremy went to jail, London's mom rented me this apartment under her name. London and I applied for a million scholarships and with the insurance money I was able to move here. London's brother, Elliot, lives and takes care of my granddad's old house and land for me. London's been living with her parents, taking online classes for engineering, and saving any money she makes. She's supposed to move here next semester to finish her degree."

London sends me a small, sad smile and I return it. "I knew he would eventually find me, I just wasn't expecting it to be this fast."

"Look, Emily, you seriously need to tell Tate about this." I shake my head at Avery. Not happening.

I've completely stopped crying now and I'm able to start to think clearer. I have to make up a plan before he comes back again. He could be in the building for all I know. I should have listened to my gut on the bad feelings I was periodically getting.

"No, Avery. This is my problem to deal with. I didn't want to tell you in the first place."

"He can help."

"How? By getting hurt? You don't get it. The monster is crazy; he will kill me. You have no idea how psycho he is. I only gave you little bits and pieces of my story. This is the main reason why I've tried to keep to myself here; I can't handle it if he was to come after any of you."

I shake my head, crestfallen, "I'm just glad I haven't gotten any closer to Tate or it would break my heart, having to give him up. I refuse to get you involved and possibly get you guys injured. No way. I just need to clean up this mess and file a report. I have to get every little thing documented this time."

I refuse to let him hurt me like that again. I will kill him before he gets that chance. The harassment has to all be plain as day, documented for the cops, although jail time may be worth it in the end if I'm free.

Avery grumbles, arguing stubbornly, "Girl, you are crazy if you think I'm letting you go through this alone. I'll stick to you like glue. I don't want you to be alone with him, and if he appears or tries anything you will at least have a witness to coincide with your story."

Avery's forehead is crinkled like she's thinking too hard, her eyes burning full of fury. Her anger isn't directed toward me, but him. She's definitely hatching a plan.

London nods her head at Avery, agreeing with the purposed strategy, "Exactly. Good idea, Avery. We need to make sure at least one of us, if not both, is with Emily at all times. I'm talking like basically being her shadow." She turns to me, "But, Emily, I think Avery is also right about telling Tate about this. He seems to know some big guys he could call if we ever desired them. I know Tate would drop everything and come running if you needed him, he's shown everyone just how much he cares for you."

These women are so infuriating. I know they want to help, but they could end up getting seriously hurt. I wouldn't put it past Jeremy if he were to even end up killing them if it came down to it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something were to happen to any of them.

I know Tate cares for me a lot, he's told me just this past week that he likes me more than he should at this point. I don't want to take advantage of him and use him, just because it will help keep me safe. If anything it will make the monster even angrier to see me with another man.

I remember when I was a senior in high school and Jeremy saw me talking to one of the baseball players. The guy and I had known each other our whole lives. In fact, we used to even play together as little kids.

The conversation was harmless; we were just talking about the projects we made in Art class. I made a paper-mâché cow and everyone thought it was adorable. Justin, the baseball player, had shown up with metal art and he had drawn a cow on a field. Everyone thought it was fate so we had to hang our projects next to each other. Justin and I thought it was hilarious because we were both country enough to make cows for a project.

Jeremy didn't exactly find it so funny; in fact, it was the opposite. When he discovered what my classmates were saying, he got extremely pissed. Then when he saw Justin talking to me, it was his bursting point.

Jeremy walked up to us, pissed, carrying his binder in front of him. He stepped directly in front of me, blocking me from Justin, glaring crossly at him. At that time, both boys were about the same height and build.

Justin had short dirty blond hair and some cute little freckles on his face. He was normally very friendly with pretty much everyone. I remember him being so surprised when he saw Jeremy pissed.

Jeremy told Justin to "back the f**k up off his chick." He then swung his binder out and clocked Justin right across the face. I thought he and Justin were going to kill each other that day.

The fight got broken up and everyone let it go since the school year was almost finished. Justin didn't want it to affect his baseball playing (he would have been benched) so he just went on like it didn't happen. Jeremy would still gaze at him like he wanted to strangle him each time they passed each other at school, but thankfully nothing else happened.

I thought Jeremy had fought Justin because he cared so much; it made him jealous and showed how much he loved me. Not so. In reality, Jeremy was just an obsessive, controlling psycho. I wish I had realized it back then; maybe I wouldn't have gone through everything else.

The girls sit with me as I call the police and ask to file a report about what happened. I also learn that I need to get a new restraining order through the state of Tennessee, not just in Texas. I wish they would have told me this a long time ago so I could have already taken care of it.

The officers that came to the apartment were nice and understanding about everything. They each gave me their cards in case I need to call or if anything else suspicious shows up outside my door. I let them know about the chess piece and calla lily. I now know they were a sick, twisted, sign from Jeremy. He was basically mocking me and I had no idea.

The officers even gave me the number to a friend of theirs, who would submit the paperwork for me to get a restraining order placed on Jeremy. London and Avery also tried to get one placed but when we called and asked, the lawyer said the judge probably won't be willing to approve it.

I guess since it happened in my apartment, it's not a reason they should fear for their safety, just mine. What a load of s**t. Unfortunately, that's how the court system works sometimes.

I set to work at cleaning my once-safe haven, which has now been invaded by the person I hate the most.