June & July

Chapter 7

JUNE

7.Acceptance:

"My house is small 

No mansion for a millionaire 

But there is room for love

And there is room for friends 

That's all I care"

It's been two weeks since we shifted to the upper portion of this small and underdeveloped rented house that consisted of only two undersized bedrooms with connected bathrooms, a guest room, a lounge and a kitchen with attached laundry and store. Everything was entirely and unequivocally different and disparate as well as extremely and tremendously intricate and convoluted to accept like a knotty maze full of twists and turns.

Few weeks ago, every single one of us lived in their separate and self- regulating organized and arranged bedrooms according to our decisions and preference. I missed the rock wall of my room in contrast with pink color, along with marble floor, my chosen curtains plus furniture and every single treasured and precious will and desire we left behind. But now look at us; we were adjusted in two undersized bedrooms that can't even bear our equipment and belongings. It was so hard and exigent ... so painful.

But finally, we sort of get along on the same wavelength. It was pointless to me that how dad was so comfortable and contented with his decision. Apart from him, mom was abysmally and contemptibly depressed and down in the dumps like someone had stolen from her the reason to live a commendable and peaceful life. After all, it was also awfully and dreadfully arduous and painful or excruciating for me to accept this all but right now, I was still trying to believe and actualize what actually had happened. I was trying to face the reality. I was just not ready to face the truth.

Every single day, when I wake up the only thought that wanders and rambles in my head is that I will be comforting on my bed of my beautifully created house but when every time I realize that I am wrong ... I lose hope. This terrible and unspeakable change broke and ruptured my life so badly that I don't think these shattered and cracked pieces would even gather up again just like a crystal, when it breaks and splits it is worthless. All, this change brought to our lives was dreadful or even worse. I really hope the new institution I will be joining from next week doesn't crushes my broken and damaged parts because now, I am tired and drained of this all ... so tired.

As usual, my thoughts ambled in the past when without prior notice, I came back into reality. Don't know how long this will last. I was still trying to process what actually had happened when I felt a burning sensation at the tip of my finger. Soon, I realized that I was ironing my clothes during my contemplations since mom was extremely ill.Though, I tried to pretend that nothing had happened but it was too late because, Noah had noticed me wincing and flinching in pain. I did my best not to make any painful and crying sounds but he came rushing towards me, leaving his toys at the corner of the room.

"Aww you aww eight??" he asked in his childish tone, sometimes unable to speak 'r' and 'l' (it sounds so cute)

"Yeah ... I am" I pretended and acted again trying hard to smile when he started crying like somebody had stolen his favorite toy. You might be wondering that why he is weeping but this usually happens whenever I am in pain. Without any waste of time, my elder brother, David came rushing as well like it was some sort of emergency. Urgently, with an apprehensive look on his face he took me towards the kitchen by taking large strides and applied a skin ointment on my finger, anxiousness and uneasiness still plastered on his face.

I decided not to feel the burning sensation but it was pretty hard. Lastly, I almost forgot everything in the blessing of love and care that my brothers showered on me. Irrevocably, I realized that I was ready to accept what life offered me.