All Over Again

CHAPTER 18: The Past, The Love, The Memories

Venice's POV

Life sucks...

Being the other woman sucks.

It's not even like I asked for this. Talagang mahal lang ako ng tadhana kaya napadpad ang buhay ko sa ganito... NOT that I should complain, dahil nagpa-"padpad" din naman ako.

-__-

Dapat kumontra ako! Magkamatayan na muna bago ko sinurrender ang daliri ko! Pero hindeeeee~

Dahil feel na feel ko ang pagiging feather in the wind, wa care kung san ako madala o kung anong mangyari, ayan.. oh ano ako ngayon? Extra sa buhay ng may buhay..

Sigh... Ano ba naman talaga tong pinasok ko?

-__-

Mag-mamarathon pa sana ulit ako ng isa pang speech ng reklamo nang may narinig akong nag-rustle sa likod ko. Syempre, napalingon naman ako para lang manigurado na hindi pa tumatayo yung mga bangkay sa likod ko.

O__O

I froze when I saw the person standing behind me.. Hindi.. hindi sya bangkay, pero kasing surprising pa rin kung bangkay ung nakita ko.

Ako: Jerwin? What are you doing here?

Nakatalikod si Kuya. Mukhang naghahandang tumakas.. Kaya lang, may natapakan yata syang patay na dahon o kumontra ung mga d**o sa kanya, kaya ayan, narinig ko ung pagtakas niya.

He slowly turned to face me. He looked at the gravestone for a few seconds, and then flashed me a discomfited smile.

Jerwin: Uh.. Well, Sheena told me you might be here.. So.. Uh..

He kept glancing at the gravestone..

Si Kuya naman, mamatay na sa curiosity, ayaw pa magtanong..

Ako: You don't have to wait for me. I can go home by myself. I won't get mobbed.

Jerwin: Well, about that.. The Manager kinda wants to talk to you and Nicole.

Ako: About last night? O_O

Jerwin: Yea. He was mad when he heard what happened.. But I don't think he'd be as pissed off as he was this morning...

Ako: *whispers* I wonder if he'll break off the engagement...

Jerwin: If he'll what?

Ako: Eh?? Nothing! Sige na, give me one more minute.

Binalik ko yung tingin ko dun sa cold and hard na gravestone -- it's soooo unlike G na warm and... soft? heehee

Well, I gotta go now, G.. I don't know when I'll be back. But I'll try to return as soon as possible, okay?

I slowly stood up -- Jusko, ang likod ko.

Ang hirap ng tumatanda -- and glanced one last time at the tombstone bearing Gerard's name.

See you later, G. I love you...

Ako: Okay. Let's go.

Dinaanan ko si Jerwin na nakatingin pa rin dun sa gravestone, probably trying to read kung anong nakalagay.. Ayaw pa kasi lumapit.. Pero he reluctantly followed me after a while, anyway.

I waved to the guards dun sa booth nila and then jumped at the passenger seat nung truck ni Jerwin. Jerwin drove us to Tito Ray's office building.

Jerwin: Uhmm.. so pinapansin mo na ba ko ngayon?

Ako: Eh? Bakit?

Jerwin: You've been ignoring me since last night.

Eh kasi naman.. Nakakapangilabot pag tinitignan kita tapos maririnig ko ung sinabi ni Nicole. Parang ganito-- Tumingin ako kay Jerwin and Brrrrrr.. Ang fanget ng visual image.. si Jerwin.... shirtless.... sweaty...... breathless.... dark room..... at...

AIIIII JOSKOOOO!!!!!

Napatingin sa'kin si Jerwin sandali nung hindi ako sumagot.. Hinahabol ko muna kasi yung puso ko..

Masama ang mga ganitong na-iimagine!

Jerwin: See? You're ignoring me again.

Ako: I'm not ignoring you. Can we just talk about something else?

Something-- Anything! Matanggal lang ang nakakapangilabot na shirtless, sweaty, breathless na picture ni Jerwin sa utak ko!

Jerwin: Okay... So.. Sinong binibisita mo dun sa cementeryo?

At talagang un pa ung topic na napili nya -_-

Ako: Someone special.

Jerwin: How special?

Ako: Like, boyfriend-kind-of-special. He was -- is -- very special to me.

Jerwin turned to me in surprise. Then as quickly as he turned, bumalik rin kagad ung atensyon nya sa road.

Jerwin: Oh. Sorry.

Ako: Sorry?

Jerwin: I didn't mean to pry.

Ako: Oh no. It's okay. I like talking about G.

Jerwin: G?

Ako: Gerard. I call him G.

I silently laughed nung naalala kong bigla ung weirdness ever nung utak ni Gerard kaya I ended up calling him G, and he started calling me V..

V....

No one has called me that in a while..

Jerwin: How long has it been since he.. uh.. well, passed away?

Ako: Two years and one month..

Jerwin: Oh. And you still visit him?

Ako: I try to come at least every single day.

Jerwin: Tagal nyo siguro nagsama for you to be hang up on him like that...

Ako: Nahh. We didn't even get to celebrate an anniversary.

Jerwin glanced at me again with that surprised look on his face. Ano naman ngayon kung hindi kami nagkasama ng ganon katagal? It doesn't mean I loved him any less. Ka-surprise-surprise ba na binisita ko si G hanggang ngayon?!

Jerwin: So, what did you like best about him?

Ako: Best? Hmmmmm... Ano nga ba? Ang dami eh! He was an amazing guy. He made me laugh. He tried to take care of me. He.. He loved me very much...

Jerwin: How did you know it was love?

Ako: Ano ba.. Love is love. You can't explain things like that. You just feel it right here. *turo sa left side ng dibdib ko* If it's love, the heart will know it.

Tahimik lang si Jerwin. His eyes fixed on the road. Masyadong maka-concentrate sa pagmamaneho..

Ako: Haven't you felt something like that before? Like... oh I don't know.. with Geena?

I saw him clench his jaw. I think I hit a sore spot.

Jerwin: Geena?

Ako: Yeah.

Jerwin: There is nothing between Geena and me.

Ako: Are you sure?

Jerwin: Yeah.. Geena and I are just friends. That's all she ever wanted for us to be..

Ako: How about you? Friends lang ba talaga ang gusto mo?

Jerwin: It doesn't matter what I want.

Ai.. ang sad. O_O

Nasa one-sided love si Kuya...