Burying the Hatchet (COMPLETED)

Vagueness

Hating it that her tongue is always faster than her thoughts. Remembering the question she asked Trei. She can’t still accept that Fray is gone like that. After the casualties had been settled in Hearse City they returned to Rozen at first light. During the whole trip Eli is awfully quiet inside the transporter. She tilted her head next to the glass window. It is highly tinted outside but one can see clearly inside. Her eyes were distant but restless. There are no bumps on the road since it is operating on a magnetic line. The vehicle levitates at five inches above the ground.

Even though Rozen has become a highly urbanized city over the centuries, various shrubberies, trees and flowers still sprung up on both lanes. Tall buildings topple side by side. They have passed by a nearby ocean where she and Sol used to play. If not for their current situation and predicament she would have spent dates with Fray there. Just like the couple down there. Walking side by side along the vast shoreline. Sinking their feet on the powdery sand while holding hands. After quite some time the guy hugged the girl. Then lifts her around the waist and turns her around. She snorted at the sight.

“What an eyesore,” she murmurs while still painstakingly staring at them doing the cliched chase this time.

The one she had seen in movies too many times to count that Sol forces her to watch.

Perhaps just sitting there while hugging our knees, waiting for the tranquil tides to wash over our sandy feet would be fine too.

She thought to herself, finding a familiar ache inside her. She used to be one of the people who despised romantic films. Thinking there is no logic behind it and just carnal desires and raging hormones. Though it was easier to judge back then when she didn’t entangle herself with it too. Now she's saddened with jealousy and regrets.

If I only knew...

She even blinked twice to break away.

Her imagination has gun deep again. She was trapped inside her fantasies which is nothing but a pipe dream than a reality she could achieve right now. Now that she can never lay her eyes on his ever again.

It was the longest trip she had back not for the ride but for the storm that welled up inside her. She didn’t even notice they were already inside Revival’s base.

‘Are you sure you’re not in the wrong room?’

She was brought back to reality when Gab butted in. Stating the obvious that she’s inside Fray’s room. Knowing how he is; just like the room he had when he kidnapped her, it was a shocker to see it all tied up. She plopped herself in bed then curled up in a ball. Fray’s scent was all over the sheets and even the pillow she’s hugging right now. The tears weren’t coming at all no matter how much she wanted to bawl her eyes out.

‘They say the saddest a person could become is not shedding a tear at all. The legend about the tear drying up because he had forgotten how it felt to love, hate or just feel anything,’ Gab explains trying to console his master.

Eli laughed wryly, “forgotten or he just chose not to feel anymore? it’s convenient though.”

After she said that her eyes went droopy. Few minutes passed and she already fell asleep. Though in her sleep it seems like his memories are hunting her still. She flinches from time to time while calling out his name.

***

“Open.”

When the blinds slided to the side. She shielded her right arm to cover her eyes as the blunt sunlight hit them. She’s inside his clothes that seemed like a dress on her. Right about her thighs length. Still in his bed, looking like a corpse. Dark circles around her eyes weighed her face down. Aside from the choppy and pale lips she has at the moment. Her hair is ruffled for laying in bed all the time.

Barely eaten food remained on the bed side table. A few bites on the bread. Her favorite mushroom soup is untouched. The apple core already turned bruised brown. A glass of water is still half full. Last night’s dinner should have been a feast, if only she had the appetite to finish it. Like all the meals brought to her.

A familiar scene, just like the time she lost her family and was out there surviving trying to fend for herself.

“You look like sh*t, get yourself together.”

That voice sounded stingy in her ears. She flipped in bed and went towards the one who said it. Poking her hard enough to flinch but she didn’t.

“Easy for you to say because you treat lives as mere tools. Dispensable enough for you to replace anytime.” Earning a slap for that remark.

“At Least when you thought you lost your family for good you had the guts to fight back and continue living. I’ve had high expectations for you. But I was completely wrong about it. You’re turning out just like your mother after all. Keeling over men and losing them meant dying too.”

Eli chuckled darkly, “that’s why you end up alone no matter how many men you toy around. Judging us by our poor choices then where does that leave you? If you didn’t leave she wouldn’t have died.”

That shut her up real good. An strong blow to her gut. Realizing their family has the worst trait of bringing the worst in people. Because they can’t be upfront about their true feelings. A pride well fed destroys relationships after all, even the bonds connected by blood. Just in time that she was about to leave Eli’s adoptive family russles in. Trei looks over her shoulder.

“Talk some sense to the brat you raised. Her blood is on your hands.” Making sure her niece hears it loud and clear then walks past them.

Sol was going to argue but Sally stopped her.

They made their way to the bed. With Sol on her left side flanked by their parents.

“It's already been a week Eli. We are not telling you to forget or don’t feel sad about it. But please just don’t get stuck there.” Sol reaches for her hand looking and her intently---shaking. Tears might fall ang second now.

“Your sister is right, daughter. Don’t you think Fray would be happy if you can bring the justice he and many others deserved?”

“Don’t talk like he’s already dead. Dad, no body was found,” she protested and took her hand back. “I won’t believe it unless I see it with my own eyes and feel it with my own hands,” she adds while fisting the bedsheet. Then tears finally fell.

“Dad doesn’t mean to hurt you but it’s the truth. Sometimes the bravest choice of us left behind can make is to move forward. Even if the pain kills you everyday.”

She roughly wipes her tears with the back of her hands. Trying to stop them from falling but fails miserably.

“Am I cursed? Why does everybody I love disappear on my watch? It’s either I’m the culprit or the reason for it. What’s funny? is that I can’t do anything about it. Getting involved only gets it worse.”

Sol jumps in bed and pulls her into a hug. “There are things that’s beyond our control. The choices we make not only affect us but everyone around us. Even if we might think it’s trivial. Someday it’s gonna make sense.”

She breaks away from the hug. Stares at her sister without remorse. It brought chills to everyone in the room.

“Does having a demon of a father make any sense to you? What about a heartless aunt who had lost faith in everyone except her twisted sense of justice? Or a mother who died of martyrdom sacrificing her daughter behind, believing someday it’s gonna make sense?”

.

Sol shakes her expecting that would bring her back. “Look at you, you’re still alive but you're wasting your life. Fray can do nothing from the grave whether you accept it or not. His death will be for nothing if you let your father have his way by stopping now.”

Her teeth were grinding against each other. Simmering in her anger and despair. She doesn’t recognize herself anymore. The succeeding words she was about to say will surely leave a bitter taste in her mouth.

“Are you really my family? You can’t understand me at all. I guess this is the part where blood draws the line.” After saying that she pulls the sheet over her head. “Just leave for now while I still respect the bond we shared. I don’t want to become a more thankless brat than I already am.”

By that she felt the bed spring back when Sol stood up. Their leaving footsteps crushed her too. But she can’t bring herself to stop them. She can’t face them nor the world for that matter. Given the shape that she is in. Even stepping outside would take a lot will power to accomplish.