Film of Love

Trente Huit

I received a text from my dear friend, Aryn, as expected she is asking me when will I go back. I deep breath as I look back to my family, I am currently in the hospital to give what Mr. Martin wants, tomorrow morning and also to check on what’s happening with my family. I will be the substitute of my mom so she can take a rest—she hasn’t taken a good rest since the accident happened so I insist, and persuade her to get one.

It’s cold evening, much colder than in our house because of the fact that we are not even staying at a motel but in the hospital. White walls around you, a monitor beeping, and an aseptic smell of carbolic acid or something like cleaning agents. It’s a smell I didn’t smell for years—I think the last one, the very last one until now is when I visited Aryn in the hospital.

We are not that close before the accident happened, and the only thing I can saw see her going out is when ‘that’ boy, the rich looking, boy came to visit their townhouse. We are not what we are like now “best friend” title but her family is our neighbor, like our door is just few blocks away from theirs. My mom and her mom are friends but the mother of the boy who are very close to Aryn are the entitled “best friends”. I didn’t know why and how we became friends but one thing for sure is that there is something behind the sudden change.

The change I said is that the family of the boy stopped visiting the Ashton’s, and one thing for sure, all of the tale talkers in every shop around them starts to wonder. Some are surprised, some are not bothered and some is curious like a cat—they are not the only one who are in surprised state that time but also me.

It’s my first time, going to a hospital, and my little self that time is wondering why the hell I am in the hospital. I don’t even have illness nor my family, for what I know because they will always make me see it if they are in pain or just tell me that they are feeling unwell—but that time is different. I think it was a reality and a nightmare combined and I was living to it which I am scared of. I want to try to ran away that time but I am just mere kid who doesn’t have experience nor I know people. I clutched to my mom’s dressed tightly as we walked in the hallway. I can see people in a clean white uniform and ordinary people who are gaping in pain and all.

I am in verge of tears because I don’t want to see them having pain. If the market is busy and noisy the hospital is busy but not that noisy and it was a different feeling. I don’t really know who will be visiting there and I am also afraid that they might not want me anymore and decided to give me to them. I don’t want to recall but as soon as I look at the building all the memories from the past came in so fast and I didn’t even have time to blocked them.

My mom opened the door of the hospital and the scent of something I didn’t know came in contact with my nose. I didn’t know that the smell of a hospital is a smell of life and death, the building is clean, hallways are tiled with white and the walls are painted with the same color also what the busy people wears inside.

The sound is pretty like a disaster, it’s not peaceful but it’s not that loud like in the markets. Painful remarks, shouting and people begging can be heard as we walked in the pathway. I saw my mother, with such a pity and worried flashes in her eyes as we take step, and seems like she knows where we will be going as she hold my hand gently but tight. I felt that she is doing that to prevent me to scaring the s**t out of myself which I didn’t do that time.

I am not fond of this places but I am not that scared, just don’t make me look at people dying in their beds. At last, we found the room where January is in and found her in her bed sleeping like a sleeping beauty. Aryn is a friend of mine because I don’t really have friends so I consider her as one or if she doesn’t want to then a neighbor can be good. We don’t talk things like that and decided who is who and give them titles as long as we play I consider it as a friend.

Not that close, I let out a chuckle as I think I just spend time with her reading some unrealistic fairy tales and story that ends with happily ever after, for some. A very far from what we are now, or even before. The life we have before is different on what the story wants to tell, but yeah, what is the purpose of telling stories, anyways? It’s like to forget for a meantime. So my little self, is doing a great job, I guess, for having a fairy tale on her back pack. The only one I have is the sleeping beauty which she gave it to me as a present. I went there for days telling the same story I have until she wakes up in her sleep, without having someone to kiss her.

I sighed, as I reminisce a part of me again. It’s the part where I am grateful because I am a kid of something, a weirdo, they say and a hyper one to be exact. I do have friends who are kids I can play with outdoors as I like to play outdoors than stay inside my room for hours and this is exactly why I sometimes don’t play with her. I actually started to wonder, how can Aryn manage to stay in whenever her best ‘boy’ friend don’t come to visit, I bet she is 1. Living her best life. 2. Having a boring life. Or 3. Working on another skill or any skill she has to improve it. I dramatically wheeze from the thought of why a young kid do the no.3 in my list of choices, I also make sure that I can’t be heard.

I looked at the couch below the window and smiled as I saw my mom sleeping soundly. my maze of memories from the past went to stop and I just laid in the couch I am sitting and grab my phone and see the messages I missed throughout the whole ass week. I also visit my email, if the old man, Mr. Frederick and his secretary will send an email regarding the what you called hiring, applying or whatever is that.

I also texted Mr. Martin if the time is good for him, or nah. I looked at Aryn’s message, it looks like I will be getting out of the house of her aunt. I just replied her a sorry that maybe I’ll be going there tomorrow afternoon or if not I’ll be going the day after tomorrow. I didn’t type in the real reason why I am being like this but just told her that I am living a good(hell) of a life here in Caen and just visiting my dad’s (in)visible relatives that has two-f*****g-façade, my father didn’t know.

“Good night father, mother!” I whispered and toss my phone that I know will land safely and take a good sleep, when I am literally sleeping 2 going to 3 in the morning.