Film of Love

Vingt Et Un

Sometimes you’ll give yourself a chance to shine on the spotlight that were never been yours. Even the worlds unfold is not what we are given. I still given out my best lest be compared with others. I disregard my thoughts since the day I realized that maybe I don’t have any talents for it. My mom told me if I can’t improve then I’ll be a shadow and will be it until the end. I am not that bad of a skater but not as good as Aryn.

Dem thought while she blinks and look around with cursory smile. Dem’s life is not easier nor heavier, she just like someone behind the lady of success. There are so much to her but she always being compared and if not being labeled as Aryn’s co-skater or just a friend. She abominates her envy to her dear friend but she is just a human who have feeling but she always asks herself if she is being a bad friend to her.

Another day of being emotional and sentimental of Dem. Dem is like a handwritten journal very quiet, very fragile in the inside but hard cover in the outside. A person who has so many stories to tell, many feeling to keep. She is there when someone needs them but kept behind in a bookshelf with the dust when they consigned to oblivion. She doesn’t comprehend the things she went through if it is a benediction or a malediction but it seems the light to see her footsteps in the wrong path. Dem tries to be true to her feelings to her pal, albeit it hurts her. Nothing easy but still can conquer the cruel faith in this unfair world.

She is being like this because she is too nervous and being a drama queen in her own story. Tomorrow will be the most exciting and mind-boggling day for her as she will witness her first and last Olympic game for the international level by the GSU. It seems so fast to her to them but she practiced the piece that she will be showing tomorrow.

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The past seasons her shining light, because Aryn didn’t make it or she really don’t want to do well. Dem felt that when Aryn stepped on the university as a freshman she continues doing the sport competently not until one day in our junior year in our university she suddenly visited our rooftop that basically our own and private hang out and hiding space. That’s the first time I first saw a drunk Aryn blabbering gibberish stop until she takes her time to be sober and told her side that she was burned out on the projects, deadlines, people’s expectation to her and practice all day. Funny how she told me that I should be the one on her spot. That words should make me happy but seeing her like that, I changed my mind I will accept the fact that I’m going to shine that time but that will be for her and nobody else.

I’ll be standing tomorrow as one the people who have a meaning that’s why I am striving for. All the hard works I must return with double amount and the foolish words about me must be kick-off to somewhere else.

After this I’ll moving forward also to a new line as the border that’s been in my way, the border that the world carved into me will be breaking down into pieces and I must be free. With the rugged path behind me I’ll be able to greet the sun that shines into my eyes, and an azure life dwelling upon me.

Figure skating will be my final straw in my childhood that I should put a period on it earlier but because of some circumstances the period was replaced by a comma, and it might not the end for my career and I am right. My shadow will awaken from its darkness as it desires to transform into some colors that I waited for so long. I’ll be grateful to Aryn but I don’t want to apologized too because of what I felt. Every feeling we feel is part of our lives and we shouldn’t be asking forgiveness because we can’t control it unless that feelings will surpass your humanity. There we go! Learning me is like a search for a hidden treasure and finding out the truth untold. A secret between the two of us in a piece of paper that is been stuck between the pages of a book.

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I’ll be wanting to sleep and given the time of the day it is surely the time I must be in the cozy bed of this hotel room I’ve been sleeping on for days. I felt comfortable that I might consider this my home in Paris now. I wonder if what is my mom doing or my dad doing. I’m not being lazy here not because I’m not calling them to know. They insisted that I should not worry for them and I should be worried to myself which is I am always do. I’m thinking that I am in love with myself so damn much. Well, it’s better to love yourself first to the someone I know he will never love me the same way.

“Argh! Too corny self!” I told myself. There is no one but you and me, bae! My phone rings exactly as I am about to reach it. Hmm…who will it be?

The name popped out and I am not surprise anymore. My pal, Arynnie is here—I mean in the line.

“Good day, lady!” she welcomes me in her podcast that sometimes triggers my ears. She sounds silvery but sometimes going to thin voices that makes it seems like I’m listening to some ASMR content.

“Girl! I’m about to cry!” she informed to me. She is a one-hell of a drama queen. Well, her boon companion is the same as her—if I am the queen she might be the drama princess.

“What is it all about again?” I asked being used to is really something. “It’s not like you have a lover!”

Silence enveloped us within that minute which really makes me deaf.

“You’re too mean to me!”

“What? It’s not like you’re the only one!” I responded. “Hello, I’m here bae!”

“Oh I forgot!” she exclaimed. “We are the single ladies in town!”

“Exactly! The only ones!”

“I want to go there,”

“You can’t! LOL!”

“LOL your face! I want to call your manager!” she mocks an angry customer.

“Sorry, but I’m the manager!”

“Your owner then!”

“I’m also the owner! What can I do for you?” I sweetly asked and she hung up the call. There is no time that we can be serious at all. It’s funny too on how she also went to the flow as if its scripted but it’s not. I decided to call her this time.

“Maybe after this we can built our own comedy bar,”

“Yeah! As if we can, I can’t even by bread!”

“Aww, poor you!”

“Want me to give you bread!” I suggested jokingly.

“No thanks-”

“Bread here is est délicieux et gratuit !” (Bread is delicious and free) I interrupted in the sexiest French accent as possible to make her cringe..

“Eww!”

“Eww? Eww too!” I replied mocking her.

I heard her sighed for the nth time and said, “are you ready?”

“Ready for what?” I cluelessly asked her.

“For the performance! even the fool knows what I’m talking about!”

“Oh, I thought that if I am ready to kick their ass to somewhere else.

“Ohh! That’s dope!”

“Yeah, that’s heh!” I said dusting off the invisible dust out of my shoulder.

“Will you be sleeping earlier tonight?”

“Are you really also asking me that?” I laughed about it. “Are you an interviewer? Where did you put little aryn!?” I dramatically gasped and asked like I am searching for her.

“Seriously, if someone heard this or read this it’s not that funny!”

“Your humor is just that bad!”

“How dare you!”

“Well, learn it from me and do better!” I said teasing her while cheering her up. She is lack of humor or maybe I am just humorless anyways I don’t care, baby yeah!

“I am feeling light headed right now!”

“Why? Did you drink?”

“No, why would I?” I asked. “I’ve been staying the whole night here! I am a nocturnal!”

“Yeah you are and you also looked like one!”

“Hahaha! Very funny! I laughed like I have a lover,”

“what’s the connection, Dem?”

“Do I have a lover?”

“No!”

“Then I laughed like…nothing!”

“You know what let’s end this relationship here!”

“I’m a bicycle to you!”

“Two tired for me?”

“WHAT!?” she asked me as I got her joke.

“You’re so unbelibubble!”

“Thanks!”

“Heck yeah!” she replied.

“I want to tell you is to sleep early!”

“Alright! Bye!” we said and I went to the bathroom to do my routine and went to my bed. I stare at my ceiling on how funny my day has been. I’ve been overly dramatic earlier then overly funny this time. Don’t mind me, I’m just self-complimenting here!

As I count sheep, my sleepiness went in and drift off to my land of dreams. Good night and be happy!