Film of Love

Cinquante Six

“Then are you alright?” my aunt asked me. Her worries were painted on her face. “Do you want to go to the hospital?”

I shook my head to decline her offer. I feel bad about lying to her about the cramps and stomach ache I never really felt earlier. I hope she doesn’t find it suspicious. I don’t want to go to the hospital just to seek medication and I just said that I will just take a rest.

I don’t want her to find out what happened to me because once I told her the real thing she will immediately report it to my mom and you know my mom—she will get mad at me for that and she will use any method to make me sent back home which I don’t like.

I didn’t even start yet but then I will just be sent back because of this stupid headache. I am frustrated with it but I need to keep it in because my aunt might sense that there’s something odd, just until we get back home.

It was such a silent and rough drive home and when we arrived I hurriedly informed her that I will take a rest. I sighed heavenly once I changed into my normal clothing. I lie down and open my phone to text Tine, telling her what happened to me in the meeting room. I am eager to know how it happened and their reactions and what happened during the meeting. I want to blame those people for this and why I hate it because it is suffering and hope it ended.

I didn’t expect a message from her too soon because I know they might be in the middle of working. I was devastated because I felt that I lose it because of this goddamn thing that you called amnesia. I am still thankful though because I was not able to get into the ambulance and go to the hospital. After all, once that happened I am seriously dead.

“Who is he?” I asked myself. I don’t why I liked to keep myself busy by thinking and wondering who was the person who took me to the infirmary. Well, I can’t seem to wait for the time. I can thank him. “That’s not what you feel,” A voice inside my head said. I frowned but then ignored it and let my body focus on how to get sleep. “You can’t sleep because you want to insist that the man who carried you all the way here is the apple of your eye.” The voice inside added. “No!” I replied.

I facepalmed myself as I realized I look like an i***t for talking to no one. I sighed again and closed my eyes. I want to sleep! I closed my eyes tightly as I clenched in the sheets of the bed. “You can’t sleep! Bleh!~ You can’t sleep!” She teasingly said while laughing at me. I annoyingly opened my eyes and suddenly get out of my bed and went over to my desk.

I opened the blinds and see the pleasant light while the snowflakes dropped, filling up again the whole street. I sat with my open notebook and start to put words that come up to my mind. Any words that I can think of are written and most of it is his name. I am embarrassed and turn a page and start drawing. I let my hand handle it because my mind is flying and having its world. I wonder when will the winter stop and summer will rise because summer means a company field trip somewhere. For the past few days I've been working on the team, I can always hear their story about how the company is so rich because they have a trip annually and this is also the time where they can go out of the city, town and even out of the country. They also shared that the people who went out of the country are those people who are ranked the most excellent employees of the year. It is always just the top 10 and it has been a tradition of the company and the voting is voted by the board members of the company.

Ms. Auclair was one of the winners of the country trip and she was still grateful that she went to the famous Bali, Indonesia. She also shared about how the beach is so beautiful and how the waves are so big and that is the reason why they agreed to rent a surfing board so that they can surf because the waves are high.

That was also her first time being active physically and went on a challenge to do all the extreme sea sports. Thinking that makes me scared because of the thought of what if you fall into the deep ocean and the fact that you don't even know what is below that. That's the creepiest thing she was able to think but once she is in the air, those thoughts were fading and her body is getting so comfortable and relaxed.

We also told her that she belongs to have a vacation like that. It was a payment for her hard work, loyalty, and great job on working. I think this is one of the great things Levitate Company offered because the company is still in the top 1. I want to thank all the companies that disapproved of my application because I am liking the company here.

I stopped zoning out exactly when I stopped drawing. I looked at the paper and found something oddly familiar. It’s a guy who looks like a guy that I seem to know. “It’s Jace!” I frowned and asked. “What!?” I will be looking like a crazy person here thinking that I am talking to someone.

I wanna cry for Pete’s sake because of what is going on with me. Wherever I look or focus on the result is always him. What’s with him anyway?

I get the bag that I’ve been using at work and pull out all the necessary things for me to work on the other half of the story. I also check out all the characters with their respective real-life portrayers—just to get this feeling from them.

I want to achieve the very best of my output and I will be able to do that if I get this sort of unexplainable sensation about the characters. Whenever I looked at the characters I can find and sense their moods of them even if they’re just a character or someone that is fiction.

Sometimes you want to make this specific character be close to your personality and be able to make it reflect and relate yourself to them. I want my character to be able to adapt to what am I doing and I can make a flow out of it and create such moods out of it and I’ll be happy.

So what I did was look at each of them—trying to feel their moods. I am feeling great until I am in the actor named Jace. I saw him earlier and then realization hit me when he was also the man who I bumped within the central.

So he is an actor. I thought so but I doubt that he is an actor, a famous one too, not having any manager around him or anyone that can protect himself from the sudden mobbing or anything. The man he was with is can’t be his manager. He looks like a Mr. Sherlock Holmes with his whole outfit and not to mention his hat.

I resumed to look at him, sensing his character when he was giving me is nothing but skipping beats in my heart. I chuckle a bit and admit that maybe he is one of the apples of my eyes. He can be on my bottom list then but don’t worry about it.

I resumed on the others when my phone vibrated. It was a call from Tristan.

I missed the guy. I can’t believe that it’s been so long since I saw him before he went off to film his very first movie, I guessed. I excitedly answer him as I make myself relaxed.

“Hey, Trist!” I said. Unknowingly smiling at him. I am so glad that he happened to call me.

“Hi, Aryn. How are you?” he asked me. “I heard that you fainted? Is that right?” he added.

I sighed and replied. “Yes, it’s true but I’m all good now.”

“What happened? What’s the reason it happened?”

“I think I’m stressed or something.” I reasoned out.

“I see. I also heard that it was like an official meeting with the actors and actress or the whole crew,”

“Yes, it was it and I am so sorry for what happened. I didn’t mean it,” I said sadly. It’s such a lost opportunity to make myself feel happy and make everyone can know me. I don’t know if I can be with them in the same room just punching out some ideas and have them judge and agree to them.

“Don’t worry! They are probably more considerate because you’re a newbie in the industry with no experience at all but if you failed to do so I am no help to you at all,” he said. “So, be careful next time.”

“I will be doing that next time.” If there will be a next time then, I will surely be careful.

The call ended so quickly because he was on a shoot just having his break. Tristan is such a sweet guy when he just called me in the middle of his shooting to ask me if I am fine.

I smiled once the call ended. I was like his girlfriend. I know I am blushing but no one cares and I admit it. He is such a nice guy to me and I’m happy he was being like that to me.

I realized that I should be going back to Caen to meet the doctor assigned to me and ask if there is something with my body and mind. If I am now can be able to gain my memories—I want to know all of them, ask her and they will give me exact details about myself regarding my situation.

I need to step up my plan if I want to get it started. It is funny that I am not that good when it comes to executing my plan. I need to know about my situation before I go on because this might be the only hindrance if I want to move forward with my plan. I also want to know who is Jk and why my heart keeps beating when I just touch or even just hear.

I need to be healthy from time to time and also want to get my records or just the certified true copy of them. In my entire life, I can't find and touch my records. It is obvious that they are hiding something from me and I'm sad because I am being told lies even though they're my family.

Keeping a secret can build a bad relationship with each other. We can distance ourselves from them because you broke their trust and also yours. The foundation you build will crumple your life because of a lie and a very great hidden story or a secret can kill a relationship between a parent and you. If they are still denied and playing innocent I will do anything to surface the truth and they will pay for it.

You can say it's not a good idea to do so but the rage in your heart wants to give you a chance to get what your heart desires. I also want to finish these, all of these. I don't want to faint or be a hindrance to anybody anymore, I don't want to feel pain in my head anymore and I don't want to be clueless anymore and I don't want to see myself being in pain just a little because someone triggered by something might be triggering it.