Film of Love

Cinquante Cinq

I woke up with a little bit of pain in my head, I stayed for a while in the same position as I was seated, and then I realized that it was not my room neither it looks like a hotel. I keep on frowning and glancing as I can’t see anything but a thick plain white curtain.

It looks like I’m in a sort of clinic or an infirmary and hoping I’m not in a hospital. I held my head and slightly groaned when I tried to remember the last incident. It's been a while since I entered any infirmary, clinic, or even hospital. Even if I'm just thinking to Do facilities and buildings I want to vomit, I am having so many bad vibes and bad recollections about them.

“Are you alright?” I was startled when someone asked me. “I’m sorry. I’m the assigned nurse here.” She apologized and introduced herself. “How are you feeling right now?”

“I’m not feeling well,” I honestly said and she nodded.

“I beg your Pardon but how did I get here?” I curiously asked. “Uhm…I just want to thank them.” I scratched the back of my neck because I was embarrassed but I still need to know.

“I’m sorry but I forgot to ask his name.”

“Oh…well…thank you!” I said sadly.

I think I need to find them on my own. I am pretty sure that the nurse is new here or is just that the person who carried me all the way here is the first time that’s why she could not tell me their names.

“By the way, I want to ask if you have medicines to drink? Drug allergies?” she asked while she is busy organizing the pills in the drawer.

“I just drink vitamins and I cannot remember if I was given a prescription medication,” I answered.

The person who should be stressed and burned out is me. I didn’t even know that I was diagnosed with amnesia, not until those blurry faces in my nightmares sweet dreams is born.

“If there is none then I can’t give you anything to drink from now on because first of all it’s not a headache but I suggest to you that you must pay attention to your surroundings, find the object, person, or something that will trigger your memory.” She suggested how should I deal with it because she will not be giving me any drugs because I was not prescribed by my former doctors or my recent doctors.

“Also if you ever need to or want to remember little by little—start with your dreams or nightmares for everyone,” she said.

“Should I write those blurry images on a sheet of paper until I can get the full message?” I asked.

She nodded and replied. “You can find someone here that might help you with your problem.”

“Yes. I will be finding that one.”

“I observe you didn’t wonder why I know your situation,” she confessed.

I glanced at her and responded. “I want to know, however, I am guessing that you will be able to find it because you know how those work.”

She chuckled a bit because of it. “Igs funny of you to think about it but unfortunately I don’t do it. I’m not a shaman but I get those top-secret questions because of you friend Dem.” I was shaking at what she just said. It’s quite funny how Dem was suddenly dragged here, but that was the best move if you want no one to know your condition not even your mom

I am getting curious and upset that I didn’t know how to get information about the person who saved my life.

“Can I go back?” I timidly asked the nurse.

“I will right you and for the higher-ups about your condition and they might give you an excuse not to attend first.” She said and I nodded.

After some minutes, she was now getting her signature printed manually and nicely on the paper and preparing for it.

I thanked the nurse who had taken care of me even just for a while. As I want to thank the person who helped me get here, I need to find them first. I went up again, I’m not even bothering to go to the conference room because I’m too ashamed of what happened.

The nurse told me that I should go to our lounge and get some rest while some people might fill me in because the nurse named Sarah, will go up to hand in the paper of consent for me to be able not to participate in today's meeting.

I will just text Tine to help me catch up with the thing that is happening now and to find out whether the meeting is so important or too long.

I am hoping in the corner of the cozy couch in the lounge area that it will be just some sort of opening meeting for all of the people in the division.

It is such a bummer that I can’t be there and I felt that I am being an irresponsible writer and I am not taking it seriously.

Frankly speaking my hearts and minds out while the room is empty is that I hate to be someone who wouldn’t have the best interests and impression because of the failed entrance to the meeting.

I have gladly introduced myself and then blackout. I am now feeling the anxiety and shame more.

I yelled a bit out of frustration. I hope this will be a dream. I am on verge of crying but I need to keep it in and afterward, I get out of it and went back to my working area. The place is empty because they are in a meeting. I sighed, I hate it, I want to cry because I am nowhere in the meeting right now. I wished that I can insist that I want to go and still attend the meeting but they are the ones that say and persuade me to take a rest because health is most important. I know that the nurse assigned, didn't exactly say what happened. I am afraid that they might take my situation differently because I fainted out of nowhere, I can't just tell them and the whole world that I am a victim of kidnapping and I have been diagnosed with amnesia and was kept for me for years not until I get a chance to know. I don't recall that we went to the hospital that I have been in when that happened but we are guessing that I have amnesia. I can confirm it once I get back and get the records in my hands.

A knock from the door gets me out of the focus and I can see that it was the assistant director. I hurriedly stand up and told me that I am excused for the rest of the meeting hours and I should be back on Wednesday for the real meeting.

I thanked the director and sighed in relief starts to pack the things and went out of the building. I texted my Aunty if she is available and if she can fetch me in the Café, I’ll be going. I am much pleased that they postponed the meeting, I don't know how to express the happiness that I felt when they informed me about it. I can't imagine myself being on the team, but I do not know anything because I didn't attend the meeting. I know being a writer is very important in the process making of any movie because we are the source and the main when it comes to the storyline of the movie as well as how can we give the characters their own life in the movie, while the directors will give life and a distinct to the real-life picture. We are all storytellers and different ways and mediums and spaces.

When I first entered the industry, I doubt that I can see myself being a screenwriter because I want to be a director but now I understand that I need to go to the bottom, experience more, adapt more to the environment, and fulfill all the duties of being that person, being that person with that position in the industry. I also didn't acknowledge writers that much when I was in college, so I have minimal knowledge about the writers in the industry because I am so focused on the directors.

I realize now, how important all of us when making a masterpiece and I also didn't know that the other crews give us so much attention and care. It's true then, that we should be working together, and lastly, I am thankful I have those kinds of Seniors and Colleagues.

I need a drink to freshen up myself. Once I finished ordering, I chose a seat beside a full glass window that was made for people to appreciate the streets of the city of love. It's almost afternoon and I can see the people going in and out, walking in the streets are getting more and more. I can't stand crowded places but I can stand and look at people doing their own business. I didn't stare at people that too long, I just glanced at them, one to another. The cafe is peaceful and no sounds are coming from the outside, we can hear it once the glass door opened a bit.

I can deem that this is a famous cafe for people who wants a meet in a cafe because the noisy sound from the cars and people walking in front of the cafe is lessened. It's an ideal place to get some coffee do your presentation, meet with clients or just simply hang out with your friends or wait for your aunt to get here.

I felt a vibration and then looked at it. My aunt said yes and told me to wait. I can't seem to remember how far the apartment to the company because that's too early in the morning and I felt drowsy whenever I am in a comfortable seat just like the seat in her car. I wonder if she can't catch sleep while driving? I want to know that. As I wait, I opened my notebook to scribble random doodles or characters from the cartoons I have been watching since I was a child because I can't go out so I am stuck in our living room and watch cartoons as much as I want. When I pulled it out I didn’t notice that a paper fell not until someone said it to me.

“What’s happening to you, Aryn?” I asked myself. This day is not good but at least I got some free time and consideration from the higher. I think I do need this short rest. My body still can’t handle this kind of thing when I’m not that experienced.

I also wrote things in my journal to keep my life on track throughout this year and what happened to me.

A hit of realization came to me—someone triggered my mind that’s why I felt pain in my head and fainted, yet I don’t who is that. I even think that I forgot someone.

I finally opened the papers and see the list of the actors. I keep on replaying who is the last one to introduce—not until I remembered and hurriedly went on the page where he is.

“Jace... Kaiden.” I read the name. There’s a slight pain in my head but it’s no worse than in the meeting room. I wrote his name down as the food that I ordered arrived.

I emptied the food that I order when exactly the time my Aunt arrived.

I went to her and said. “I will tell you about it later.” I didn’t even let her speak as I went in the car and she drives off. there are many things I've been keeping on her, it's just that there are some things they can't need to know because sometimes they also react over too much and I can't stand it. I want to say that I am very sorry for not telling you about anything.

I also consider them because they might not even know what happened to me. After all, what I recall is that I didn't see her on any or one of the occasions that were held in Honfleur. I don't know if they are just not invited or something. In the meantime, I will just tell them what they need to know from now on.