Film of Love

Sioxante Deux

I looked at the window and I can see that it was a fine day not the brightest because of the snow but I can feel that it much more homey now not like those starting days of winter days. I am missing a lot of midday sun because of the season and I felt that my bones are starting to go back those days when I always stay in my house in the morning.

I am an introverted person since birth, I guessed and being an introvert also can lessen me on acquiring the morning light that presents the vitamin d. Actually, I think I am a bright kid when I was much younger, or before the year that happened. When I was blacked out from the reality and from the world, I suddenly felt my memories are regaining but still blurry, but I can still hear voices of people that I am familiar with and some are unfamiliar to me or it’s just because my old memories are lost somewhere in the deepest and back of my mind.

“A!” someone yelled. I can say that the voice might be from a boy, a kid. The surroundings are not that bright not until I felt that I am walking unconsciously like my feet suddenly moves on its own and went to the scene I can’t see earlier.

The girl he called A is in the swing, she wears this cute dress with suspenders on white and also a pair of white shoes with a pair of white socks on it. It was a bit funny and odd on how the boy called the little girl a one letter alphabet and that’s it. It was uniquely cute nickname for a cute and pretty girl.

“Why are you yelling?” she asked the boy who is out of breath in front of her. I can see that she shook her head and examine the boy. She also pointed out the sweats in his forehead and his neck and said. “Look at you! You are going to be tired.”

“So what?” the boy rolled his eyes out. I giggled a little because they seem so close to each other that ‘A’ ignored the response.

“Whatever you want, Jk!” she said. Wait…Jk and A? isn’t it the code names that are written in my telescope? So it means that I am in my lost memories. (Chap. Sept) I gasped when I suddenly remembered so I thought I am in a random dream and my mind is just making this all and it was a hallucination and turns out it is not.

I don’t know if I should even trust my mind but my hearts respond differently and its heartbeats implying something and I should let go of the feeling of not trusting my own mind and heart. I am having a little issue of trusting my heart and mind but if this is the way on recalling past events and older memories without having and taking medications, then I will likely consider this technique.

As of now I am not feeling any discomfort and pain as mind rotates into a new scenario. The scenario, I can describe it just like pastel colors—joyful, happy colors, and it felt contrasting the winter freezing months by its bright summer months feel like. The scene is incredibly flattering.

“Hey, Jk what do you want to be?” ‘A’ asked. They were in somewhere with a beautiful landscape in front of them. It was not a conflicting question but in the age of them it feels a bit different somehow.

“I want to be…with you?” I saw him smiled a little and more on a smirk when he replied that. I found it funny because the boy is nowhere being meaning it, but I think I, or the little me took it seriously. My gosh! How are minds can process those? It was a pastel scenario and it came like a bolt out of a blue.

“Really? Then if that was what you wanted then I want it also,” she replied. They both smiled, I can’t believe that even in the age of that—I don’t want to say it anymore.

The young boy scratched his head for a sudden eye-opener response. I know he can’t take it back anymore and just continued. “I want to be with you when I became an actor while you’ll be my director.”

“Really? Wait…how did you know I want to be a director?” she asked. Oh! That was a good question. I felt like my legs are going numb so I tried to sit beside them, and it worked.

“Well, I heard that you want to be a film director and I also heard from your mom and my mom conversation on how the teacher reacted when you said that,” he explained. Wow! He is such a nosy kid also, I commented. “I mean I am not trying or even wanting to hear about adult-talks but I just passing by to get cookies when I heard your “uncommon” dream.” He added, quoting and unquoting the word “uncommon”. I laughed a bit when I heard that but it seems it’s true though. Many kids even when I step on secondary education, I can sense that they only like to get a degree on the majors that are on the top of the chains or they what so called “popular “majors.

“Oh! I thought you just guessed it or you can read minds now,” she responds. Jk laughed at what he heard from “A”.

“That would be awesome to have!” he exclaimed.

“No. that would be so creepy!”

“It will be awesome! You just don’t want to admit it!” he argued. They both bicker on what is awesome and not, until they grew tired of the topic.

It was fun until it was ended and my mind turn another page. It was spring time, in other dimension or year. Unlike last time it was not pastel anymore it was more like a dusky color, contrasting the recent scenario.

It was dark and upsetting, the skies also felt the same as the patter of raindrops echoed in the top of us. They make Johan and I stay in our shared rooms, Johan is five that time and I am 15 that time. It was year 2012 as the calendar says. I am wondering in my own room(?) that felts it is not even mine, it doesn’t resemble my latest room or it’s just that they make or remake my room.

I can observe also that the details and features in our house we are living in, in my dreams are not the same where we are living. I wonder what changed or what happened really.

I took a few steps to the door, I stopped mid-way while I was fidgeting and contemplating in my spot if whether I can go outside without my little version of me in there. I just want to see, hear them clearly, their voices are muffled while I am inside.

I took my courage and successfully went outside of my room. I heard my parents talking, they want to be as quite as possible but their emotions making it hard for them to control their voices.

“What have we done!?” my father exclaimed aggressively. His hands are on his head and I can see that they are getting worried as their emotions painted in their faces. I am confused on what is happening to them. My mom was seated across my dad who is standing up.

“NO! It-its n-ot us!” she gulped while trying to say it with a less stuttering but she didn’t succeed. “It’s been what…years? a decade?” she continued.

“I know! but I felt that they are in the deepest corner and doesn’t took their eyes off on us,” my dad replied. He calmed down for a second and went beside my mom.

“They can’t do harm to us!” she assured him.

“How can you say it? Did you know what they want?” he asked. My dad eyes are sweating. I am really confused and worried. Is there a connection to what happened to me?

“We need to stop them! We need to stop Tri—” my dad was sentence was cut when I felt that I’ve been pulled out and once I opened my eyes, I am not in my room or office anymore. I am pondering where I could be when I smelled something that is alike to the smell of antiseptic and a hospital smell.

I am back to reality. I am having pain now but I think it was worth it. The fainting and blacking out from the world is worth it because I get a trip to my lost memory lane. I don’t know if I can get a chance to back and continue what is my father going to say.

I was given a rest day for the rest of the day, I am grateful for that because my body and mind feels heavy and I want to take a sleep and also I need to list down the events and scenarios earlier. It will be a helpful guide to my past.

“Hey, Aryn?” Ms. Lucy whispered in my ears that make me comeback to the present.

“I am sorry what is it?” I asked. I am so obvious that I am zoning out in the middle of work. I couldn’t be more embarrassed about it.

She sighed and patted my back. “Ms. Julia suggested that we should help the artists and you’ll be assigned with the main stars!” she can’t help to be excited for her but went to serious mode so quick.

“But—why I-I am? Why I am assigned for the main stars?” I can’t help to ask. I can picture myself to give off this worried expression.

“Because of your state right now. She want you to be focused.” She explained and stood up and went to the other casts.

Ms. Hani waved at me and I awkwardly waved back at her. Well, yes you can see that I know their names. Very surprising! Note my sarcasm.

It’s been 30 minutes since the others left the Blue room and we are still being in there if not until someone from the other division pop up in the room and we are requested to move to the another room. It was not huge than the blue room but it has a plenty of seats too. It has no color and you can see that it was refurnished and repainted new.

We are now in the new room—it is still spacious because there is no big furniture installed in the room. I walked to them just across my seat. Ms. Lucy is in the corner on our left, Mrs. Julia in front of them and Tine’s group is on the middle.

The stars are Mr. Jace and Ms. Hani, my group also composed with the second leads. Mr. Alejandro and Ms. Natallia. I greeted them and trying my best to make them comfortable under my care. They also greeted me warmly.

“Hi, I know you might know us, but I will introduce again.”Mr. Alejandro started. “I am Alejandro, this is Natallia or Tallia, Ms. Hani and Mr. Jace.” He pointed out who is who. I nodded my head even though I now them.

“Shall we continue?” he asked. We all nodded.

“Let’s start on the page 34,” I suggested. I think it was where they finally hangout in their dreams as I reviewed the script.

“My lovely buddies! We are here again!” Ms. Hani acted while saying her script.

Jace smirked and said his lines. “You missed me that much? Want a kiss?”

“What kiss? Eww!” Natallia interjected.

Mr. Alejandro scratched his head while saying his script. “That is gross but I don’t mind!” He expressed and groaned as he was being hit lightly by Hani on the back of his head.

“Want a water break?” Jace suddenly said. We all looked at him and looked back at the script because it feels off and it is true because it was not included in the script.

He laughed at us and shrugged and stood up. Hani stood up as well and went beside him. The other two shook their heads and followed the two. I was left on my spot as I felt that my heartbeats sped up again but I felt this different feeling when I saw how close Ms. Hani to Mr. Jace, but I must be out of my mind and shrugged it off and followed them also.