Film of Love

Trente Et Un

As pretty the clouds outside, it’s a bit dimmer on the inside, because of this one person who keeps telling me that we’ve been here for a long time and that’s exactly what I expected. Being in Caen is different from being in the city. As I looked from the dusty windowpane of the cab, I sense the peacefulness between the trees with no leaves, snowflakes falling to us. I never said I like the melancholy winter but at the same time, it feels comfortable, maybe because we can make ourselves cozy and warm. I have no idea that this season can make many memories of her come back all over again, but this time it’s bizarre.

“We’ve been here for weeks, sir!” Ramoz, my hired private investigator reminded. I’ve been hearing this many times already as we ride in the car. I pinched my nose and snapped at him. “I know!” I look at him in the eyes, desperately trying to tell him to stop with my low voice because it’s a bit embarrassing for us and for the driver who is peacefully driving. “Please stop it for the meantime as I am trying to brainstorm here.” I sighed getting into my good side after being irritated.

Han said that we should get a cab this time and leave the car behind in the hotel’s parking lot and also told me to change our clothes to more casual than being formally dressed up in winter because he can sense that someone might be hiding in the shadows and look for us.

“Alright! If that’s what you want, then.” He looked away while I look at the old

“If something…or even someone can help us it might be easy for us…” I can hear him muttering beside me. I became acquainted with him and fortunately—unfortunately, we are the same age. A slick young man who dresses up as an old man, older than the 21st century, I don’t know if this is one of his strategies or this is just his fashion taste or he wants us to be doomed.

“Are we there yet?” I asked the driver and he said pretty much near. I’ve been waiting to set my foot again in that building. It’s been years, I think, I even forget what it looks like. I know that there will be changes, and features I can’t remember nevertheless it’s not that necessary.

The cab stops right at the entrance of the hospital, I paid and thanked the driver. I turned around to finally see the building. “Whoa!” I said. I guessed it change, it was revamped.

I started walking to the entrance—when suddenly Han yelled my name to get my attention and the others, I facepalmed myself because of how awfully embarrassed right now. l sighed and turned around to face him confusedly and asked. “What is it this time?”

He deep breath before he replied. “We should sit first.” He faked coughed as he wonders his eyes. “Sir, are you seriously going and find Ms. January’s records?” He whispered in my ears, I looked at him then I answered. “Yes, and what about it?” he glanced at me like I am joking.

“You can’t get a record of someone you don’t have a relationship with. It can be parents or someone they knew. I told you that it is like touching the real cactus skin without being pierced by its spike, that’s how it is here.” He reminded me. I want to burst out and tell him that I know how the system works.

It’s hard to get what we want despite that I will reach for it. A long awkward silence between me and him transcended until a lady walk in and abruptly stopped in front of us and asked. “Do you want me to help you?”

I handle my reaction pretty well yet the other one is ruining it. On the other hand, how she knows that we are dealing with some difficulty here and there and finding someone to help us. Did she eavesdrop on our conversation and decided to ask us if we needed a helping hand. The thing is I don’t even know her—how could we trust her by this thing.

She introduced herself as I assume she forgot to earlier. On the other hand, Mr. Low-key (The new nickname doe suits him very well.) Isn’t seem to use his mind as if he was star-trucked by the lady named Dam or…wait…isn’t it Dem? Well, whatever the name is he just went hooked up to her appearance.

After that, I observe her and asked if she is, or she is just a passerby but then she started stuttering. I am taken aback and became a little bit suspicious not until she just exactly spoke her government name, who am I looking for.

I disregard my other intentions, the main, to finally get to know more about A. I am about to ask her more questions, eager to go more in-depth into her history. I noticed that she became happily wanted to participate and tell me something more about her but I can also see that she is being careful about us, especially our identities which are mutual.

As much she wants to talk here in the hospital’s frontage, she suggested that if we want we can talk about things inside the open café just in front of the hospital. She has a point, also we can’t be careless about this talk so I agreed.

We introduce each other much more precisely and finally told her the main intention why we are here and she also became a bit curious about why I needed to get A’s medical record. I am not that surprised about the question because Han also asked me exactly the question first thing when I accidentally mentioned it to him.

Our situation is so unexpected and we didn’t have time to background check her. Well, I am afraid if she is one of the minions of the person behind but she can be someone who just has a pure, positive intention of helping us get through. I am going to risk the thrust for her.

The time flies so fast and we are finally coming to an end of the conversation despite that she promised me that one thing and I also gave her my number. The number that I rarely use and not people know it so it’s safe if someone what to be funny.

I am doing for all the safety I can give to myself and everybody, and for her. My family was once got stabbed back and I don’t want to experience that terrible break of trust in people again.

Whatever they might be, there will be nothing to lose, I can always find another way, it might be a difficult one but I know it will work. Once I gather the information, I will slowly hunt them down, and maybe I can find her.

-------

I was up all night and might consider myself as a nocturnal any now and then. The reason for all this all-night schedule is because of planning a strategy about the favor he asked me to do for him. He can’t do it and only “I” can do it.

“Hey, mom!” I yelled from the bathroom. I can see that she is beside dad again, munching some juicy oranges. Oranges here are free or is that comes from the bills we pay.

“I will be leaving first. Is that alright?” She nodded her head, not even minding to look back at me like she used to do. I shook my head sadly. She became too quiet and it appears to be strange for me.

My mom…I know…it’s very hard for her—we are still having a hard time finding the culprit as we don’t recall anyone that became enemy with my dad.

“Dem?” she said as she finally looked in my way. “I am sorry…we can’t even celebrate your win.” She apologized for something she never did and want to. I just smiled faintly at her but then tried to be different and cheered her up.

“Don’t be mom!” I said, assuring her as I hugged her from the back. “It’s not as important as my family. We can celebrate it after this.” I smiled widely hiding pain inside my soul. Celebrating a win can wait but my family can’t.

“After all this. So, smile mom! Dad might tease you.” I added. She finally tried to smile even just a little.

I broke the hug and slowly walked away and exit the room.

I left the building and walked my way towards the bus stop. I am glad that I reached the time cut for the bus, and take a seat at the back, away from people. It’s a long hour ride, so I decided to get myself a short nap.

I woke up as the bus pulls into a stop right in front of their terminal, and slowly gather myself and my things up and wait for me I let people go out and wait for my turn. There is a time like this that I want to be away from people, no human touch nor hugs or even handshakes—I want to be on my own, my safe lair in the middle of a crowd.

I walked about a hundred blocks to finally arrive at my house. As I went in, I reached for my phone and texted Aryn’s brother, Johan, if he is free. After a minute, he replied, he is not a fast replier but we need to take more patience in because we are making such a big favor to him.

I change my clothes into my comfortable hoodie, put on padded jackets for the outer, comfy pants, and my nice and light slip-on, and head to ‘Café de Cherie’.

I open the door and scrunched my nose with a different but familiar smell because I hate the smell and it turns out to be tea.

I looked at him in the whole café and waved at him after I reciprocated his smile with a faint one. His smile dropped and was replaced by a worried-looking one. He is surprisingly not in his uniform, even though it’s their café, his mom decided to put on a uniform for the professionalism of the café they run. I guessed he took a day off. For me? I smirked from the thought but then faded.

I went and get a table for us and I chose the table, as always, the farthest in the corner of the café. “Hey!” he greeted me first as he sat in the vacant seat in front of me. “Hello!” I greeted back, I looked around and noticed that there are new employees at the counter.

“Did your mom hire new ones?” I asked curiously. He looked back and replied. “Them? Oh! Yes, they are.”

“Where is your mom then?”

“Same old her. She is in the hall for some foolish meeting,” he answered. I felt that he is done with her mother. I chuckled a bit and shakes my head. Aish! This kid!

“Your dad?”

“He is somewhere I don’t know.” I nodded understanding those and try to focus and tried to open the topic.

He glanced at me and asked. “So…what do you need?”

“Oh yes! I forgot sorry!” I apologized so that it can’t be obvious that I’m having a hard time telling him about it. I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued what I am going to say. “I actually…want you to get a signature to this.” I did get the papers out of my tote bag.

I prepared this so fast because it’s urgent and to get it legally finished—I went here personally to try to get their signatures legally but secretly. I don’t want her to know, because once they know about it, they will surely command the hospital to ban, block all the people who want to get their records if there is someone out there except for us who wants it too.

“Pardon?” he replied.

“I mean—” I was cut by my voice but then tried to continue explaining. “Well, If you just can…can you make your mom sign the papers?” I repeated but this time it was like a soft mumble to him and went forward to make sure he can hear it although it’s a bit low volume.

“Are you serious?” he asked again, doubting me.

“I know it’s hard but you can act like it’s from your school,” I pleaded and also suggested a way for him to act it out. I gave him the papers and he read them, carefully but I snatched them from him making sure it’s not crumpled or looking worse.

“Hey! It’s not fair! I need to know what it says.” he protested. I sighed and insisted that it’s all confidential and between adults.

“Pretty please!” I begged him to help me out on this huge and difficult favor. I used cat-pleasing eyes to look like I am desperate (Which I am already.) to get those freaking signatures.

It takes such a long time between this awkward and unusual silence and I heard him sigh as I didn’t give up on doing such an idiotic expression to beg someone. I hope he can see through my eyes how all of these matter to me.

“Alright!” he eventually agreed to help me. “I’ll try and no promises.” He added This is fine for me even though promises are meant to be broken despite that I am hoping that this time…it might change that. I nodded my head aggressively to let him know how happy I am right now.

A little hope bloomed in my heart. “And please!” I said, stopping him from standing up. “Don’t ever fold it or crease it.” I reminded him as I gave him back the paper in its brown envelope. He just rolled his eyes out but smiled and I respond with a genuine smile.

“Thank you!” I said. “I really mean it!” I meant it because this will be the way I know it will work, hopefully.

“Thanked me later if I did it already!” he said, and I nodded, waved, and left the café.