Savior of Avalon

Chapter Seventeen

Sometimes, I was convinced this was all a dream. That I would wake up and Mom would be downstairs cooking breakfast. Thom would stop by to visit, bringing me something from the many countries he'd gone to. Sometimes, I was convinced I'd think to myself how strange it was to have a dream where Mom was kidn*pped and I was some half Unicorn hybrid who was supposed to save Camelot.

But when my eyes opened to stare at the sun this morning, I was forced to come to terms—yet again—with the fact that this was no dream. Everything that had happened over this past week was real.

I took in the light grey sky and the dim morning sun. Already, there was a light snow falling around us, covering the branches and falling lightly on my dress, covering the world around us in white.

It was colder today than it had been yesterday. Somehow, I could sense that my stunt with Eir had deeply angered Morgana. She wouldn't hurt Mom, though. She needed her. For now.

Eir's wings had kept me warm throughout the night—her wings seemed to generate its own heat—but now that I had sat up and had removed myself from the warmth her wings provided, I was freezing.

Merlin was sitting on a log in front of a fire, his back to us. Wrapping my cloak tightly around me, I went to take a seat next to him. He didn't acknowledge me, just kept his gaze on the fire. Ever since yesterday, I got the odd feeling he was avoiding me. Even during our lesson, his eyes were distant. Not the kind of distant that was normal for him, but the kind of distant that froze me in place. The kind of distant I'd never seen before.

I couldn't exactly be sure, but I think it had something to do with Mordred's blatant interest in me. Though, I couldn't figure out why exactly Merlin would be so put out by that. I mean, maybe if he were anyone but Merlin, I'd think he was jealous.

But, Merlin viewed me as a child.

"It's colder today than it usually is," I observed, trying to break the tense silence between us.

"It is."

Sighing, I asked, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

His head snapped in my direction, the fury he had been holding back showing.

"What's wrong with me?" He hissed, keeping his voice low as not to wake anyone up. "I should be asking you that."

"I haven't done anything wrong," I bit out, pissed off at how confused I was by his anger. "You're acting like an asshole for no reason. You're being ridiculous."

He let out a humorless chuckle. "Ridiculous is puckering your lips at Mordred in front of everyone here. Anyone could tell he wanted you."

I looked at him in surprise before saying brusquely, "I was encouraging him to—"

"Is that what they call it in your world?" He scoffed. "Encouraging."

"I don't have to explain anything to you," I said angrily, working to keep my voice down. "You don't have any reason to be upset. You think of me as a child anyway, don't you?"

"Perhaps I think of you as a child because you act like one," came his cool reply.

I'm not exactly sure what snapped in me. Maybe it was because I had just woken up or maybe it was all of the stress I had been feeling for the longest time coming to bite me in the ass. Looking back, though, I think it was the fact that when he said aloud he viewed me as a child, it pierced some part of my heart that I didn't even know could hurt.

But, the palm of my hand connected with his cheek, the sound reverberating throughout the once peaceful morning.

I heard the sound of shuffling and I was suddenly aware that the sound of me slapping Merlin had woken up a few people.

"Lucy, Merlin," came Thom's voice. "What's going on here?"

Neither of us answered, we just stared at each other for a long time. His jaw was clenched and his amber eyes wide. I was breathing heavily, my palm still stinging.

After a time, I saw Merlin's expression turn to surprise and... something else. He looked contrite. Something I'd never seen before. When I breathed in and my breath stuttered, I knew why he looked so regretful. To my horror, I realized tears were gathering in my eyes.

"Luce..." Thom said softly, sounding worried.

I didn't look at him or anyone as I stood up and left the scene quickly. I had to get out of there before anyone could see me cry. I hated looking weak in front of other people. While it was true that Merlin had seen me cry before, it was different this time.

When he had seen me cry, it was because my mother was gone. It was because I had failed to save her. This time, I was crying because he had made me cry. And he knew it. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of watching the tears pour from my eyes like a floodgate.

Behind me, I could hear Aengus letting out a string of expletives, threatening to torture Merlin in all kinds of brutal ways. Arthur and Thom were trying to calm him down, but I wasn't sure they would be able to keep Aengus calm. Once he got fired up, he stayed that way.

I didn't stop until I was away from it all. Stopping to rest by one of the barren trees.

"You didn't have to follow me all the way here, Eir," I choked out, my breath trembling.

"You are not well, m'lady," came her soft voice. She seemed worried and I had a feeling this was a first for her.

"I'll go back later," I said, closing my eyes.

Before I knew it, I was crying. I cursed myself for it the entire time. I cursed myself for letting him make me feel this way. It was stupid to let him have such a big effect on me. I was stupid.

Suddenly, slender arms were pulling me into their chest, dark wings wrapping around me and blocking out the cold. Her hands gently smoothed out my hair. It reminded me so much of my mother that I cried harder.

Eir said nothing, although I knew she could feel what I could. In this moment, she knew what I needed wasn't pretty words and false promises, but just the silent comfort that she offered me.

We stayed there as the light snowfall turned heavier, falling around us like something from a scene in a movie.

☪ ☪ ☪ ☪ ☪ ☪ ☪ ☪

Aengus and Thom showed up a few minutes later. When they found Eir and I, we were up in one of the trees. She had said the view would make me feel better, and she was right. Seeing the endless amount of snow and watching the newly fallen snow land gently on the leafless trees made me forget all about Merlin and how completely pissed off I was.

"Are you okay, Luce? Asked Thom after Eir had lowered us to the ground, still keeping a supportive arm around my shoulder.

"I'm fine," I responded, my heart twisting at the worry on Thom and Aengus's faces. "Sorry for worrying you. We all already have enough problems as it is. You shouldn't have to think about me, too."

"You can't control what you feel, Lucy," Thom replied, smiling gently. "Besides, I worry about you all the time regardless of the situation. You're my little girl, Luce." And then he ruffled up my hair causing me to chuckle.

When I laughed, Aengus and Thom joined in. Eir didn't laugh with us, but her lips curved into a relieved smile. She must have been worried about me all this time, but chosen not to say anything.

I really needed to work on making the people around me worry. I needed to work on being stronger.

"We should probably get going," Aengus said after a while. "Arthur'll want to leave soon."

"Today will be a difficult day to trek through," Eir spoke up, turning her face to the sky and breathing deeply. "Morgana's anger has grown. There will be a blizzard. She plans to freeze us to death, I believe."

"You can sense that?" I asked in awe.

Nodding once, she told me, "Mostly, I'm reading the energy from you, m'lady. Morgana's magic and yours seem to be linked. That's why you can sense her and she can sense you. You can feel her anger growing and because I can feel what you can..."

I was silent for a moment. My magic was linked with Morgana's. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or horrified.

"We should let Arthur know then," Thom was saying, leading the way back to the campsite. "Maybe he knows of a place we can rest when the blizzard hits."

We all made our way back. I'll be completely honest, I was wary of going back. I was wary of seeing Merlin. For some reason, the idea of seeing him again made me want to cry. But, at the moment, this trip wasn't about me. Not in the slightest. This was about something bigger than me. This was about saving the life of my mother and countless others.

I wished, with everything I had, that Merlin could see me as something other than a child. I didn't need him to think I was this stunning beauty with men falling at her feet. I didn't even to need him to think I was pretty. I just wanted him to view me as someone he could trust, someone he could rely on. An equal.

A partner.

It saddened me that he didn't see me the way that I saw him. It angered me that merging our magic hadn't affected him the way it affected me.

It wasn't long before we were at the campsite. Merlin was standing with his back to everyone, leaning against a tree, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Thom, Aengus," Arthur called out in relief, walking toward us. He looked at me and smiled gently. "Are you well, Lucinda?"

"I'm fine," I said, guilt piercing through me. "I just needed a moment to myself, that's all."

Merlin back was tense, rigid. He made no move to turn around to make sure I was okay. Hell, he probably didn't even care.

Thom told Arthur what Eir had told us a moment ago.

"I see," he murmured, nodding. "There are caves all over these parts. If there is to be a blizzard like you say, then we can take refuge in one of those. For now, though, I recommend we get moving. Lucinda and Merlin's barrier fell just a few minutes ago. It won't be long until Morgana is able to see we've been here. I'd rather be long gone when that happens."

After that, we saddled up and rode off into the light snow which was steadily becoming heavier by the second. Eir kept her wings around me and Aurea seemed to emit her own heat which also kept me warm.

We trekked through the snow, not knowing Morgana was tracking our every move.