Alan had been consumed with guilt afterward…yet sometimes when Janet just wasn’t in the mood or had a headache or had her period, he could not help tiptoeing downstairs and returning to his little secret. It held so many wonderfully dirty, harmless perversions. Finally, one night in his excitement he had accidentally ejaculated across the open magazine—not just a stray spatter here or there, as had happened sometimes before, but a great sticky load, embarrassing and dirty, which ruined pictures and stuck pages helplessly together. The next morning he had reluctantly slipped the well-used mag into a garbage can in the parking structure on the way to work.
Soon afterward, however, he convinced himself to visit a big pornographic bookstore he had seen out of the corner of his eye many times
