Love Song

Reveal

    I need you.

    A quick text to Cal is all it takes for him to show up at my doorstep in the middle of the afternoon unannounced. I’m sprawled out across my bed, still wearing the strapless sundress I wore to my doctor’s appointment. I texted my security team to let Cal in the house when he arrives. I have no desire to crawl down the stairs to let him in myself. 

    Even though I know he’s on his way, it still startles me when I hear my bedroom door open, his voice cutting through my emotional pain and agony.

    “Roz?” He says softly, pushing the door open and walking right up to the bed. He lays down next to me and starts stroking my hair. “How can the most beautiful woman in the world look so sad?” Cal strokes my cheek, pulling a small smile out of me.

    “I have to tell you something,” I say, not looking him in the eye.

    “What is it?”

    “Promise you won’t be mad?” I whisper.

    “Why would I get mad?”

    I roll over onto my stomach, so my face is hidden in the pillows.

    “Roz, in all the time we’ve been together, the only thing we’ve ever fought about is that you don’t like going down on me. So, I don’t really think you need to worry.”

    I turn back over to face him finally. A single tear slips out of the corner of my eye and falls down my cheek.

    “I’m pregnant.”

    I try to read his expression. It’s a mixture of confusion and surprise. His bottom lip pushes out slightly, like he’s lost in thought.

    “I...was definitely not thinking that’s what you were going to say,” Cal replies.

    We stare at each other for a few more seconds before I start laughing. Cal follows suit, and we laugh until I feel a stitch forming in my side. I take deep, slow breaths to stop the peels of laughter escaping my lips. We’re both quiet again.

    “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I confess.

    “I’m assuming you don’t know who’s baby it is?”

    I shake my head. 

    “I thought you were taking birth control? Otherwise, I would’ve taken precautions.”

    “I was, but I had to switch. And there were a few days where I went without. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal…” I say.

    “Do you want to keep it?”

    I collapse backwards on the bed again, exasperated.

    “I don’t know! Part of me wants to. But the other part of me doesn’t feel ready to have a baby!”

    Cal nods and starts stroking my hair again, trying to calm me down. It works. I feel goosebumps form all over my back. My eyes droop closed. 

    “Do you have to decide right now?” He asks.

    “No, but I have to decide soon. I don’t want to put this off if I’m going to do that.”

    “I understand that, but my point is, you don’t have to decide tonight. So, why don’t you let me take your mind off things for a little while?”

    I tuck my head into his side, enjoying the warmth of his body. I nod, liking the idea of losing myself for a bit.

    Cal lifts my face up, pulling my body with it. He stares deep into my eyes as if he’s reading my soul. I study the hard lines of his face, his dark blue eyes, and the small laugh lines at the corners of his eyes. 

    Before I can say anything to break the silence, Cal’s lips press deep and hard against mine. I wrap my arms around his neck instinctively, pulling myself closer to his chest. His muscles are like solid rock against my breasts, but I press harder against him. 

    “Rosalyn,” he whispers against my lips, slipping his tongue between them.

    It takes me another moment to realize, it wasn’t Cal that said my name. He never uses my full first name. He always shortens it to Roz. As my brain tries to connect these strange dots, Cal is pulling the top of my dress down, his mouth and hands cupping my breasts. While his head is down, against my chest, I have a clear view of the open bedroom door. 

    Did we leave that open? I distinctly remember we had closed it when we came inside. I press my hands against Cal’s chest, pushing him back a couple inches. 

    “Did you just say my name a second ago?” I ask, suddenly serious.

    Cal’s eyes press together in confusion.

    “What? No…”

    “Someone said my name. And I swear, I thought we closed the bedroom door, but now it’s open…”

    Cal stands up and walks over to the door. He looks out into the hallway before stepping out. I stay put on the bed, a shiver of fear crawling up my spine. Is someone else in the house?

    Each second that passes feels like an hour. I try not to make a sound, so I can hear Cal as he checks the house. Security should’ve caught any intruders, but mistakes can happen. It’s happened before…

    I hear Cal’s calm voice, he’s talking to someone downstairs, but I can’t make out exactly what he’s saying. A raised voice talks back. My head suddenly hurts as my heart starts to race, blood pounding in my ears and brain. 

    Justin.

    He’s home.

    He must have come upstairs to check on me and saw…

    f**k.

    I stand up, throwing myself across the room. Justin knew about Cal, but they’ve never met, never spoken before. And clearly, Justin is not happy about what he saw when he came in the room. A hundred images and emotions rush through my mind as I try and figure out a happy resolution to the situation I’m running into downstairs. 

    I reach the top step.

    I can’t see either of them. The voices are coming from the living room. I pad quietly down the stairs, trying not to let them hear me. I adjust my dress, trying to put it back in place. I peek around the wall towards the living room. I can see Cal’s back, both his hands are out to his sides like he’s trying to calm Justin down.

    I move a little more, and now I can see Justin. He looks like he’s been crying. His eyes are red-rimmed, his cheeks flushed. My heart breaks as I realize I’ve hurt him. Seeing Cal and I together must have been too much for him. I wouldn’t have asked Cal to come over if I’d known Justin was going to be home so soon. I thought he’d be gone for hours. 

    I pull back behind the wall, sliding my butt to the ground and listen closer to what they’re saying.

    “...not fair! She loves me--we’re married, for God’s sake,” Justin cries out.

    “I get it. Trust me, I do. I’ve been married twice. Some days it’s bliss, other days it’s a b***h. Just because I’m with her sometimes, doesn’t mean she loves you any less. I promise you,” Cal’s voice is gentle and kind. He sounds as sweet as he does when he’s talking to me. It’s endearing that he’s actually trying to comfort my husband. Such an odd scenario, yet he’s handling it so well.

    “I’m just so tired. Tired of not being enough,” Justin says. His voice is slightly muffled, like his hands are covering his face.

    “No one is saying you’re not enough. Roz is just...She needs more. No one man can satisfy her needs. If it was the other way around, and she was with me instead, I guarantee you she would be off with a side piece. Even I wouldn’t be enough for her.”

    I stick out my lip, pouting slightly at the mention of my s****l needs. It’s true, however. I’ve never been able to be with just one person. It’s never been enough. 

    “I guess I just don’t understand,” Justin says. 

    “I’m not gonna pretend I understand it any more than you do,” Cal says. His voice has moved, like he sat down at the table. “Look, I’m not here to try and make you feel like less of a man. Or take anything away from you. I’m just here to try and make Roz happy, that’s all.”

    Silence from Justin. Sounds of shifting and a chair sliding. When Cal speaks again, I can barely hear him.

    “Would you like to join us?” Cal asks.

    I tilt my head, confused by his question. We had never discussed this. He’s offering something without my permission which both infuriates and turns me on all at the same time. 

    “How is that going to help?” Justin replies.

    I imagine Cal shrugging in his casual way. He knows how to take control of every situation, every conversation. Press a few buttons, and he owns you. I wonder if Justin even realizes what’s happening.

    “It might show you what I’m talking about. It might help,” Cal says.

    “How would it work? Joining you, I mean,” Justin says.

    “Well, we can try it out right now if you want. Go upstairs, have a drink, and see what comes out of it,” Cal says each word slowly and deliberately, his voice already doing things to me, even from the other room. I wonder how Justin feels, being the victim of Cal’s attention now.

    I hear their chairs sliding against the tile floor, and I realize they’re standing up. I hurry back upstairs to my bedroom before they can see I was listening. I sit on the edge of the bed and wait for them to get to me.

    Cal walks in first, and Justin stays back, standing in the door frame. Cal comes over and sits next to me on the bed. I don’t know what my expression looks like, but he must see something like fear in my eyes based on what he says next.

    “It’s going to be okay. Whatever happens, I need you to trust me,” Cal says, taking my hand. I look into his eyes, squinting slightly, trying to convey a message of warning to him. I don’t think this is a great idea, but he asked me to trust him. And that’s what I’m going to do.

    Cal waves at Justin to come over. He follows his direction and sits down on my other side. Cal leans down and starts sucking on my neck, his teeth biting into skin and sending butterflies through my stomach. Unexpectedly, I feel Justin’s familiar lips on the other side of my neck. The sensation of the two of them kissing and touching me at the same time, it’s almost too much for me to bear. Heat is spreading between my thighs, and I squeeze them together tightly. 

    Cal slips his hand between my legs, pushing them apart. He lifts my dress and his hand slides up my thigh, making me shiver. I turn my head, pressing my lips against Justin’s, tasting a hint of whiskey on his breath. I gasp against his mouth as Cal’s fingers reach the top of my thighs.