Let's Elope

The Guest List War

Few days after the introduction, life slowly returned to normal.

Well...

As normal as life could be after two families had met, prayed over your future, and started calling each other in-laws.

Wednesday afternoon found Ada, Tobi, Dara and Femi gathered around the dining table in Ada's house.

A bowl of chin chin sat in the middle beside four bottles of malt that Femi had already claimed as "brain fuel."

Tobi placed a fresh notebook on the table.

"Ladies and gentlemen..."

Femi clapped dramatically.

"The chairman has arrived."

Tobi ignored him.

"Today's mission is simple."

Dara raised an eyebrow.

"I don't trust that smile."

"We're making our guest list."

Ada smiled.

"Finally."

Tobi uncapped his pen.

"We agreed from the beginning that we wanted a small wedding."

Ada nodded immediately.

"Simple. Intimate. Just family and close friends."

Femi leaned back in his chair.

"I like this already. Less stress, better food."

Dara rolled her eyes.

"You think with your stomach."

"My stomach has never led me astray."

Everyone laughed.

Tobi wrote 80 at the top of the page.

"There."

"Eighty?" Dara asked.

"Forty from my side, forty from Ada's."

Ada smiled.

"That actually sounds reasonable."

"I know," Tobi replied proudly.

Femi looked around the table.

"Who wants to tell their parents?"

Nobody answered.

"...Exactly."

Before anyone could speak, Ada's phone buzzed.

She glanced at the screen.

"Mum."

She answered.

"Hello, Mum."

"Ada, have you started writing the guest list?"

She looked at the notebook and smiled.

"We literally just started."

"Good. Don't forget your Auntie Amaka and her children."

Ada nodded instinctively.

"I won't."

"And Uncle Chimezie's family."

"Okay."

"Oh... and remember your grandmother's church friend from Enugu."

Ada blinked.

"...Grandma's church friend?"

"Yes. She'll be very offended if she isn't invited."

The call ended.

Silence.

Slowly...

Ada added four names.

Then six.

Then eight.

Femi leaned across the table.

"How many names was that?"

"I stopped counting."

Before anyone could recover, Tobi's phone rang.

He answered.

"Yes, Mum?"

His confident smile slowly disappeared.

"...All of them?"

Dara and Ada exchanged worried looks.

"...Even the ones from Ibadan?"

Femi covered his face with both hands.

"Oh no..."

Tobi sighed.

"Yes, Mum."

He ended the call and stared at the notebook.

"What happened?" Ada asked carefully.

"My mum just reminded me that my dad has seven siblings."

Femi burst out laughing.

"And that's before the cousins!"

Tobi looked at the tiny "80" he'd written so confidently a few minutes earlier.

Without saying a word, he slowly crossed it out.

Dara watched him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm accepting reality."

The four of them burst into laughter.

The laughter had barely died down when Ada reached for the notebook again.

"Okay," she said, twirling the pen between her fingers. "Maybe we're overthinking this."

Tobi raised an eyebrow.

"I'm listening."

"We don't have to invite everyone."

Femi nodded immediately.

"Exactly!"

Dara looked from one face to another.

"You all say that now."

"What do you mean?" Ada asked.

Dara leaned back in her chair.

"I mean, the first time someone asks, 'Why wasn't I invited?' all of you will suddenly develop selective amnesia."

The room fell silent.

Then Femi pointed at her.

"She's making a very valid point."

Ada sighed.

"I hate that she's right."

"So do I," Tobi admitted.

Tobi stared at the notebook.

Ada looked at Dara.

Dara looked back at Ada.

Finally, Femi swallowed and broke the silence.

"...Should we just buy a stadium?"

The room exploded with laughter once again.

Tobi wiped a tear from his eye.

"I honestly thought choosing a wedding date would be the hard part."

Dara smiled.

"No."

She tapped the notebook with her finger.

"This..."

"...is only the beginning."

Ada glanced at the growing list of names, then at Tobi.

He looked back at her and smiled.

Neither of them had imagined that something as simple as writing names on a page could feel like negotiating a peace treaty.

And somehow...

They hadn't even reached the halfway mark.

Ada reached for another piece of chin chin and sighed.

"I refuse to panic."

"That's because you're still optimistic," Femi said, reaching for his third piece of chin chin.

"Third?" Dara asked, raising an eyebrow.

Femi looked down at the chin chin in his hand.

"...Fourth."

Everyone laughed.

Tobi flipped to a fresh page in the notebook.

"Maybe we should separate the lists."

"How?" Ada asked.

"Immediate family. Extended family. Friends. Church."

Dara nodded.

"That actually makes sense."

Femi leaned over to look at the page.

"And then?"

"And then we see how many people we have."

Ada smiled.

"Okay. I like that."

For the next few minutes, the room became surprisingly quiet.

Pens scratched across paper.

Every now and then someone spoke.

"What category does Great-Aunt Ifeoma fall under?" Ada asked.

"Extended family," Dara answered.

"What about my dad's best friend?" Tobi asked.

"Family friend," Femi replied.

"And Pastor Samuel?"

"Church."

The system seemed to be working.

Until...

Tobi looked up from the notebook.

"I have a question."

The others paused.

"What happens if two people expect invitations because they invited us to their children's weddings?"

Ada froze.

"Oh..."

Dara slowly lowered her pen.

"I didn't even think about that."

Femi sighed dramatically.

"Nigerian weddings come with debts you didn't know you owed."

Tobi nodded.

"My mum said it's called returning honour."

Ada rested her chin on her hand.

"So if they invited our parents years ago..."

"...they'll expect an invitation now," Dara finished.

Femi pointed toward the ceiling.

"I'd like to officially apologise for laughing at eighty."

Tobi chuckled.

"Accepted."

Just then, Tobi's phone buzzed.

He glanced at the screen.

"It's my dad."

He answered immediately.

"Good afternoon, Dad."

The room fell quiet.

"Yes... we're working on the guest list."

A pause.

"Oh..."

Another pause.

"I didn't know that."

Ada watched his expression change from relaxed... to surprised... to mildly horrified.

"Yes, Dad."

"I understand."

"I'll add them."

He ended the call and gently placed his phone on the table.

Nobody spoke.

Finally, Ada broke the silence.

"How many?"

Tobi rubbed the back of his neck.

"My dad reminded me about his colleagues."

Femi blinked.

"Colleagues?"

"He retired after thirty-two years."

Dara's eyes widened.

"Oh..."

"He said he can't invite one without inviting the others."

Ada slowly pushed the notebook away.

"I need fresh air."

Femi stood up immediately.

"I'll come with you."

"To encourage me?"

"No."

"Then why?"

"There's more chin chin in the kitchen."

Dara threw a napkin at him.

"You are impossible."

"I prefer the word consistent."

Even Ada couldn't hold back her laughter.

As she watched Tobi shake his head with an amused smile, she realized something.

This wasn't just a guest list anymore.

It was a collection of relationships, memories, obligations, and people who had helped shape their families over the years.

No wonder everyone cared so much.

But one question still lingered in her mind.

How on earth were they going to fit everyone into one wedding?