Come Back To Me

Chapter 9

Present…

The force of my hit causes Taylor to fall back into the dirt. I stand over her, shaking with anger. Everyone at the party has now taken notice and has gathered around to see what happens next, surprisingly most of them appear to be cheering for me. Taylor slowly reaches for her nose and tears begin to run down her face when she sees blood on her hand that streams from her possibly broken nose.

I take a step towards her, thinking of hitting her again when I feel two strong arms wrap around me and pull me backwards.

“No Hadley, she’s not worth it!” Gavin says loudly into my ear over the shouting of the crowd that is now hungry for a good fight.

Nobody helps Taylor up off the ground and she climbs unsteadily to her feet. She looks around her, looking for somebody to step in and help her out and take her side, but it never happens.

“Let me go!” I protest against him.

“What the f**k!” Taylor shouts at me through her tears, she’s not so tough anymore.

“You deserve it b***h!” Cole yells at her.

Taylor looks around nervously as she realizes that nobody thinks what she did was very cool, even her own friends are shaking their heads at her, not bothering to stick up for her.

“Looks like you’re on your own Taylor, you better go home,” Gavin says loudly to her.

He’s still holding me but I no longer struggle against him as the adrenaline retreats from my body.

“Yeah Taylor, I think you better just go home now. Nobody wants to hear you spew your bullshit anymore. For you to even pretend to know how Reid would feel is laughable, he never liked you, not even a little bit,” Cole spits at her.

I look at Cole, feeling touched by his sticking up for me, even if it does seem a little harsh.

Taylor looks absolutely humiliated as she realizes that she isn’t really as popular as she thought, not anymore anyway, not after this. Finally, one of Taylor’s friends steps forward tentatively to hand her a napkin for her nose before leading her away from the crowd. Gavin releases me and we go back to sit on Cole’s tailgate again. All the spectators disperse and go back to enjoying themselves. The fight already forgotten as it’s a common field party occurrence around here. There’s always at least one or two of them throughout the night.

“Where’d that come from?” Gavin asks me, stunned.

I’ve never once gotten into a fight; I have enough issues with just sticking up for myself sometimes, so this is the first time I’ve ever fought back, literally.

“I don’t know,” I shrug, “I just couldn’t hold it in anymore and I exploded. How dare she say those things.”

I rub my hand, my knuckles are sore.

“That was crazy Hadley,” Cole laughs boisterously and hands me a beer, and I take it from him, “she never saw it coming. Reid would be proud.”

“Yeah, he always did the sticking up for me, so I guess it was time for me to do it myself,” I say and take a long slug of beer.

A few hours, and a lot of beers later, I am absolutely smashed, so Gavin had decided that it was time for me to go home. We pull up outside my house, and I struggle with the door. Gavin hops out and comes around to my side to help me out. I stumble to my feet, and can barely walk straight, so Gavin puts a steadying arm around me and leads me into the house. We open the door, and my mom is sitting in the kitchen. She jumps up from her chair when she sees that Gavin is practically holding me up.

“Oh my god Gavin, how much did she have to drink?” concern evident in her voice.

“Too much,” I slur and giggle.

“What she said Cathy, I’ll take to her room,” he tells her.

Gavin makes his way to my room with me, and my mother follows close behind us. She opens my bedroom door for Gavin and he leads me in, and helps me to sit down on the bed, and I flop back onto it. Gavin stands up and pulls my shoes off, throwing them aside.

“I hope she doesn’t get sick,” he comments to my mom.

“Thanks for getting her home safe Gavin. I’m surprised though, she’s never done this before,” she tells him.

“Never?” he asks, sounding surprised.

“Well, if she had, she hid it better, but no, I’ve never seen her drunk before. Poor thing,” my mom confirms.

“Okay Hadley, I’m going to take off now. Tonight was…interesting. I’ll call you tomorrow to see how you’re doing,” he tells me from the doorway.

“See you,” I murmur, feeling foggy.

“Night Cathy, sorry bout this,” I hear him say quietly to my mom.

“It’s okay Gavin, it happens to the best of us, you guys have been through a lot lately…”

I hear her voice trail off as she shuts my door, and my room goes quiet. I stare up at the ceiling, willing it to stop spinning. I really do not want to throw up. I squeeze my eyes shut, and wait until the sensation subsides. My hand is really starting to ache now as the numbness of the alcohol starts to wear off. I still can’t believe I actually punched Taylor in the face, but she’s had that coming for a long time now, I’ve finally had enough, it feels good to have finally stuck up for myself after years of her harassment.

When I think I finally have a handle on it, I sit up and remove my jacket, followed by my jeans. As I lift the comforter up to crawl underneath, I realize that my sheets have been changed, my room no longer smells of old food, and my floor is not scattered with dirty laundry. My mother must have taken the opportunity to clean my room for me; it was becoming pretty repellent in here. I also notice that it has become cold in here. As I suspect, my window is wide open again.

I sigh and get up to shut it; I think my mom must have left it open to let the stale, garbage air out. I consider locking it, but decide against it, I had always left it unlocked so that Reid could come and go as he pleased, and I guess a small part of me still holds out hope that this is all a bad dream, and he’ll be crawling through that window at any time now.

I return to my bed and try to get comfortable. My pillow just smells of fresh laundry now, and my hope of preserving any last remnant of Reid, is officially gone.

“I finally stuck up for myself tonight Reid, you would have been so proud of me if you seen it,” I whisper to myself, wishing I could talk to him.

“I am proud of you,” a voice replies to me, and I almost scream when a hand clamps down over my mouth.

“Shhh, it’s okay Hadley, it’s me,” Reid whispers from next to me in the almost pitch black room.

He slowly removes his hand, and I turn to look at him. He sits on the bed next to me, leaning back against my headboard, looking down at me. I must have passed out; I guess I’m still drunk and didn’t even notice the transition into sleep.

“Hi Reid,” I whisper to him.

I might as well go with it.

“Hi Hadley,” he whispers back.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him.

Obviously this is just a figment of my imagination, but I’ve been trying to bring back this vision since the last time he came to me, and I wonder why it’s working now.

“Don’t you want me here?” he asks, sounding a little hurt.

“Of course I want you here, I’ve wanted you here every single night since the first time you visited me in my dreams. I’m just wondering why it’s been so long?”

Reid sits quietly and ponders this.

“You know, I’m not really sure how this works,” he tells me, but the answer confuses me and it doesn’t make sense.

“What do you mean, how it works?”

“Sometimes I seem to be able to visit, and talk to you, and sometimes, all I can do is watch,” he says, but I still don’t understand.

Reid looks thoughtful for a moment then tries to explain himself better.

“Sometimes, I’m able to be here, just like I am now, and you can see me, and I can talk to you, and I can feel you, but most of the time, all I can seem to do is watch you from afar, not able to communicate with you at all.”

Reid shifts, and lays down, facing me, so close, I can actually feel heat radiating off of him.

“Like, in my dreams, my sub-conscience decides?” I clarify.

“No Hadley, you’re not dreaming,” his brow furrows.

“Of course I am Reid, that is the only way it’s possible for me to see you, hear you, touch you, smell you…in my dreams, because you’re dead,” I whisper, and I feel a lone tear drop roll down my cheek.

“No Hadley, how can I make you understand that I am right here, right now? You are not asleep, you are not hallucinating…it’s just…me,” he implores me with his bright green eyes, implores me to just believe what he is telling me is fact.

I reach out and run a finger down his cheek, and I feel the smoothness of his skin, warm and existent.

“Okay, then if I am not dreaming, or hallucinating, then what is this?” I move my hand from his face, and run it through his hair, feeling the silky strands flow through my fingers.

“I think that maybe, I’m stuck in some sort of limbo,” he muses.

“Come on Reid, are you telling me that you think that you’re some sort of…ghost?” I say in disbelief, and I can’t help the giggle that escapes my throat.

“This isn’t funny,” he frowns at me.

“Oh, I’m not laughing because I think it’s funny, it’s because this is the most ridiculous thing that I’ve ever heard, and now I know for sure I’m dreaming. Reid, ghosts are not real.”

I give him a look that says I cannot possibly believe this is the case.

“Then I don’t know what to tell you,” he says, sounding frustrated.

He turns over onto his back and stares at the ceiling.

“I’ve watched a couple television shows about ghosts Reid. You know, when there was nothing else on, but from what I can remember, I thought ghosts are not supposed to know that they are dead, but you seem to realize it,” I ponder.

“That’s what I thought too, but I guess that’s not the case in my situation,” he murmurs, sounding tired.

“Is there any way to prove that I’m not dreaming?” I ask, my mind trying to at least open a little to the possibility that what he is telling me is true, that my Reid…is a ghost!

Reid looks over at me, and a small smirk forms on his lips.

“Are you starting to wonder now Hadley?”

“I don’t know Reid, it’s really hard to believe. I mean… are you haunting me?” I ask him, the question sounds funny, and it must be amusing because Reid laughs out loud, but catches himself.

“You know, I’ve never thought of it that way before, but maybe I am haunting you,” he smiles and sits up, and moves so that he is straddling me on top of my blankets.

Then he leans down so his face is merely inches from mine.

“Boo! Are you scared Hadley?” he teases me, and I laugh quietly.

“Reid, I could never be scared of you, no matter what. Not even if you came back as a monster, would I ever be scared of you. I love you, more than anything, and I’ll take you in whatever form I can have you in.”

“Good, I’m glad,” he smiles down at me, then rolls off me so that he’s lying next to me.

“So, what did you do to defend yourself tonight Hadley?” he asks me as he pulls me into the crook of his arm.

“I punched Taylor Bennett in the face, I thought you were able to watch me, did you not see it?” I ask him curiously.

“Well no, I think I’m kind of limited as to where I can go,” he tells me.

“Limited to where?”

“Here,” he replies simply.

“So you can only see me here, in my room? Why?”

“I think it’s because it’s someplace where I was the happiest.”

He squeezes me tightly. His words hit me hard, and I feel tears starting to flow. I’m also aware of his use of past tense.

“I’m happiest right here with you too,” I sniff.

The feeling is bittersweet, because yes, Reid is with me here right now like he used to be, but it is only temporary.

“Okay, back to Taylor, so you punched her in the face? How did it feel, and why’d you do it?”

“Well, it felt great to finally put her in her place. I did it because she accused me of already moving on from you and onto Gavin, which is absurd, and she said that you made the wrong choice when you chose me,” I tell him; even remembering what she said makes me feel angry again.

“Wow! What a b***h. Hadley, don’t you ever second guess whether or not I thought I made the right choice or not, because I never have. And as for you moving on to Gavin…well, I don’t believe that for a second, and I’m glad that he’s taking care of you, you guys should take care of each other, he’s not always as strong as he appears, so maybe you can help him get through this too,” Reid takes a deep breath.

“I knew you would know better Reid, I didn’t appreciate her talking about you like she knew how you would feel about everything.”

I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him closer to me than he already is, leaving no space between us, but still it’s not enough.

“Wish I could’ve seen it Hadley, I bet she was surprised.”

His body shakes with silent laughter.

“I surprised myself, and I’m sure it surprised everyone else who seen it as well. Nobody even stood up for her, which was shocking since I thought she had a lot more friends than that,” I muse.

“I guess she isn’t as popular as she thought she was,” Reid agrees.

Suddenly Reid shifts and he is now on top of me. He leans in and kisses me softly at first, and the contact awakens every nerve in my body. I respond eagerly by twisting my fingers into his hair, holding him to me, and I kiss him harder, a soft moan escapes his throat, and he pulls back an inch.

“Hadley, I miss you so much,” he chokes.

I look into his beautiful eyes and see that Reid is crying, and it makes my heart ache.

“What’s wrong Reid?”

I wipe the tears that fall down his face with my fingers.

“I’m just realizing that as you talk about your life, this is only going to get harder and harder as time goes on. Here we’ll be, discussing what happened that day, all the while I’ll be wishing I were part of the story, not the one the story is being told to. Eventually, you’ll move on with your life, and I want you to, but in a couple years, you’ll move out, and then what?”

Another sob escapes him, and he collapses on top of me, burying his face in my hair. I wrap my arms around him tightly, as I feel the waves of emotion flow through him, and I notice his body feels very cold now, not the same warm Reid that I’m used to.

“Reid, you’re freezing.”

I shiver, the coldness seeping through the blanket that separates us, but he doesn’t respond. Instead, he lifts his head, and taking me by surprise, kisses me hard, so hard that it almost hurts my lips. I look into his eyes, and Reid’s usual bright green eyes look darker, I gulp, feeling a little worried by his intensity, it’s unexpected and I’ve never seen him like this before.

“I need you Hadley,” his voice is strained, and he clutches me tightly in his arms.

I can feel the shudders rolling down his body, he’s completely overcome, and so I just hold him until his breathing calms down. “You got really cold, but usually you feel really warm. Do you know why?” I ask when he’s still and quiet again.

“I don’t know. Maybe when I’m upset, I get cold. I don’t know for sure though, it’s never happened before and it’s not like I was given a hand book or something,” he replies, sounding very tired, so I just nod and drop the subject.

Maybe I need to start doing a little research on my own about all this…paranormal stuff.

The next morning, bright morning light flows through my window, alerting me of the new day. I reach out to touch Reid, and just like the first time, I am greeted to nothing but air.

“Reid,” I say quietly to my empty room, “if you really are a ghost, and you can watch me like you say you can, then next time you leave, please tell me so that I can say goodbye.” I sigh sadly, feeling confused.

My mind is in shambles, trying to figure out what is happening, what does this all mean? Am I going certifiably crazy, am I having some extremely vivid dreams? Or is Reid actually a ghost that can visit me at night…sometimes? This is not even something that I can talk to anybody else about. They would have me committed before they believed my ghost story. How would that conversation even begin?

On a positive note, I don’t feel hung over like I should, and I actually feel hungry. I want breakfast for the first time in what feels like a long time and decide I will not stay in my room all day. If I’m going to go along with Reid’s ghost theory, and if he apparently can only come at night, then there’s no point in me waiting in here all day. I sit up, and throw my legs over the side of my bed.