Addiction

41

He put his hands in his pockets. We were both completely drenched. He was staring at me. The distance between us was unbearable.

"I don't want you to leave me," he said slowly. "But if this is too much..."

"No. James." I closed the distance between us. "I'll never let you go."

"I'm not addicted to you."

"You keep saying that. And all I can think about is how rude it sounds." I smiled at him.

"I don't understand how you can keep choosing me. I'm..."

"Perfect. Everything that you've been through has made you who you are. And I love the man I see in front of me. I love you so much."

It started raining harder. "I'm divorced." He almost had to yell it over the rain.

"I know."

"No more of this waiting nonsense?"

"No. My heart is yours."

He was smiling down at me. "I'm divorced!" He picked me up and twirled me around.

I laughed as he set me back down on my feet. I rubbed my palm against the scruff on his cheek. "You're all mine."

"All yours, Miss Taylor." He turned his head and kissed my palm.

Tuesday

"I think you might still be addicted to sex." Our wet clothes were in a heap on the floor and our naked bodies were intertwined on his bed.

He laughed and kissed the top of my head. "Maybe it's just because I like using it as a weapon with you?"

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're right. You're...frustrating. s*x is the only way I can seem to control you."

"Control me?" I rolled onto my side and perched my head up on my hand. "Hmm. I could control you in bed."

"No, you couldn't. I'm stronger than you."

"I could tie you down."

"Good luck trying. It'll end up being you tied to my bed. Which doesn't sound bad at all."

"Maybe later. James, did you really blackmail her?" I thought about the phone call I had overheard the other night. He was asking someone for photos and didn't want there to by a cyber footprint.

He sighed and rolled over to face me. "That wasn't much of a segue." He stared at me for a minute. "It's the last thing I could think of to do. I know it was stupid. I wanted to be with you. I didn't want her to control my life anymore. You said you wanted to wait and I had no intention of waiting."

"I like that you're bad."

He laughed. "You do?"

"I've spent my whole life being good. It's fun being bad for a change."

"What, do you think dating a bad boy automatically makes you a bad ass?"

I laughed. "Absolutely...Professor Hunter."

"Touché."

"I don't care if people think this is wrong."

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "We should probably talk about that."

"Isabella's threat? You think she'll really reveal our relationship?"

"I think it would be best if we go to the dean in the morning."

"But..."

"It's better if he hears it from us."

"I don't want you to get fired."

"Yeah, me either. I know you're worried about what will happen. I told you it's not explicitly against the rules. And I don't think that anyone's complained."

"So you think nothing will happen?"

"I hope nothing happens. But I don't want you to worry about it." He kissed my forehead and climbed out of bed. He pulled on a pair of plaid pajama bottoms.

"Where are you going?"

"Get some sleep. I need to make a phone call."

"To who?" It was late. Who could he possibly want to call at this hour?

"My lawyer." He looked down at my naked body. "I won't let anything happen to you. We'll figure this out."

***

When I woke up the bed was empty beside me. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was 3 a.m. I climbed out of bed and grabbed one of his shirts out of his closet. It didn't matter what he had just told me. He was clearly different now. I didn't know if it was because of me or what, but I didn't care. He was strong. And I loved him more than ever. If it was going to be a problem, it would be something we'd get through together. Life without him was not a life I was interested in.

He wasn't in the kitchen or living room, so I made my way through the hallway toward his office. The door was open so I walked in. His hands were in his hair and he was staring down at his cell phone on his desk. All he was wearing were his plaid pajama bottoms and his glasses. He looked sexier than ever.

"James?"

He looked up at me. He looked so tired. And upset.

"Why didn't you come to bed?"

"I did," he sighed. "I couldn't sleep."

I walked over to him. "We'll figure it out. Just like you said." I leaned against his desk.

He shook his head. "I was so busy thinking about my feelings for you that I didn't think about all the repercussions..."

"You did think everything through. We talked about that on our first date."

He shook his head again. "I never thought that the dean would find out before I talked to him, though."

"Has he?"

James stood up and walked over to the window. He pulled the curtains to the side and looked down at the street.

I walked over to the window and looked down. s**t. There were three news trucks parked outside of the apartment building. "Maybe it's for something else?"

James shook his head. "No. The story is being printed in the Delaware Post in the morning. I've tried everything." He let go of the curtain. He put his hand through his hair again. "I f****d up, Penny. I should have thought about what Isabella would do if..."

I grabbed his arm so that his hand fell from his hair. "James, you couldn't possibly know what Isabella would do."

"I should have. It's my job to protect you."

"It isn't. I made my own choices. I knew I was breaking the rules. I kept pursuing you. I wanted to be with you. I knew there might be consequences. I can face them."

"It is my job to protect you." He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head.

I sighed and leaned into his chest. "The worst that can happen is that you get fired and I get expelled."

"I don't care if I get fired. I just don't want you to get expelled."

"I have good grades. I can get into a different school."

"It's a scandal, Penny. Other universities may not see your grades as valid."

That's what Melissa had said. Melissa had warned me about what would happen. But I hadn't listened. And if I had the choice, I wouldn't listen again. I loved Professor Hunter. I was happier than I had ever been.