Addiction

42

"James," I said and leaned back so I could look up at him. "If I could go back, I'd do it all over again. Even if I knew I'd be expelled. You make me so happy. I want to be with you. That's all that matters. If anything, I should be apologizing to you. You told me to forget about you. On multiple occasions. I didn't listen..."

"Stop, Penny. I couldn't leave you alone either. And I didn't want you to leave me alone. I never meant it. I can't even imagine not being with you."

"So we'll face it together."

"Mhm." He looked down at me and smiled. "I'm not used to having a partner in crime."

"Well get used to it. You're getting me kicked out of school, so you should probably stick with me for awhile. It's the right thing to do."

He laughed and looked down at me. "You should probably call your parents." I must have made a face, because he added, "I'm sorry, Penny."

"I think I'm dreading that discussion more than talking to the dean."

"I'm sorry."

"Please stop apologizing. James." I put my hands on the side of his face. "I love you. That's all that matters."

He smiled down at me. "I love you too."

"So will you please come to bed now?"

"Mhm." He leaned down and kissed me.

Wednesday

The alarm woke us up at 6 a.m. We had a meeting with the dean in an hour. And I had a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach. I had tried to be the positive one last night. But now I needed to call my parents. And I was terrified. I needed to do it before they saw the paper, though. I didn't know what the article said, but James had made it seem like we were screwed.

James turned off the alarm and rolled over to face me. He eyed me curiously. "You're still here."

I didn't know what he was expecting. Maybe he thought I was going to abandon him. "Of course I'm still here." I propped my head up on my hand. "I need you to promise me something," I said.

"Name it."

"No matter what happens, please don't resent me."

"Penny..."

"Promise me."

"I don't resent you. Please don't think that I'm mad at you about any of this. This is everything I ever wanted. Actually, it is tempting to just run away with you. For you, I'd leave it all. I need you to know that."

I do know. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to say the same thing back. I needed to finish school. I needed to think about my future. But he was laying there telling me that I was his future. I wanted him to be mine. "I'd leave it all for you too. But I'd be uneducated."

He laughed. "You're very intelligent. A diploma doesn't change that."

"I forgot that you just want me to be a housewife anyway."

He smiled and ran his fingers through my hair. "Well today can't go all that poorly because you just told me you want to be my wife. I'm certainly in a good mood."

"I..." I was suddenly embarrassed. I hadn't meant it in any way. We had talked about our future but we had never actually discussed getting married.

"Don't be flustered." He put his hand on my cheek. "I'm 27 years old. You're the love of my life. I know you feel the same way. You risked everything to be with me. So you must realize that I have every intention of marrying you, Penny Taylor."

I gulped. "But we..."

"Are you going to fight me on this too?" He gave me a mischievous smile.

He wanted to marry me. He wasn't proposing but he was telling me that he eventually would. It was fast and crazy and just like our whole relationship had been like. And I couldn't have been more excited. "No." My voice sounded airy.

He smiled and climbed out of bed. He disappeared into his closet. I was only 20 years old. He was my first boyfriend. But everything felt right. This is how I imagined love would feel. The rest of the day suddenly seemed easier to face. I wasn't just in love with him. I was going to marry this man. I shouldn't be ashamed of telling my parents or the dean. This was my choice. I needed to own it. Just like Melissa had told me.

I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face. When he reappeared in the bedroom he was wearing a pair of navy blue pants and a gray dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He looked handsome and sophisticated.

He looked at his watch. "Ellen's already here. So unfortunately you'll need to get dressed."

I was wearing one of his shirts. I was excited to meet his chef or maid or whatever her title was. I'd just call her Ellen I guess. I went into the closet as he went into the bathroom.

I had never met the dean before. And this would probably be the only time I did. Professor Hunter was dressed in business casual clothes because that's what he usually wore. I pulled on a pair of jeans, a tank top, and a light cardigan. I slid on a pair of flats and walked out of the closet. He was standing by the window, looking out at the street below. Another news truck had arrived on the scene and there were about a dozen people standing outside. I wasn't sure if they were reporters or paparazzi or what. This situation was surreal. I didn't want to think about them. We'd know our fate soon enough.

"Do you think this is okay?"

James turned his attention to me and smiled. "I'm not sure if he's going to be paying attention to what you're wearing. But you look beautiful." He gave me a chaste kiss, grabbed my hand, and led me out to the kitchen.

A woman was standing at the stove. She had short brunette hair and looked a little older than my mother. She was wearing an apron. As soon as she heard the door open, she turned toward us. She had a huge smile on her face. I instantly liked her.

"You must be Penny. Oh dear, aren't you pretty. James didn't exaggerate."

I could feel my cheeks turning pink.

"Penny, this is Ellen," James said.

I smiled at her. "It's so nice to meet you."

"I've heard so much about you, dear."

I smiled up at James. He shrugged his shoulders. It was cute that he talked to her about me.

"And how do you prefer your eggs?" Ellen asked and turned back to the stove.

"Scrambled." This was weird. I wasn't used to someone making breakfast for me. "Do you need help with anything?"

Ellen laughed. "I like you already. But no. Sit, sit."