Addiction

47

The door opened and I looked up. Tyler walked in. He quickly walked over to me and sat down at the desk beside mine.

"I was hoping you'd be here early. How are you holding up?" he asked.

"I've been better. So I'm guessing you saw the article?"

"Yeah." He looked down at his hands. "Did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That he was married?"

"Not at first."

"God, I knew he was a piece of s**t. He f***s students and screws around on his wife? Why do you want to be with someone like that?"

"Not students. Just me."

"That's not what the article implied."

"The article was wrong. And he did file for divorce before he met me. That part was true."

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "So what happens now?"

"We met with the dean this morning. They're going to interview all his students to verify that he hasn't broken any other rules. To clear his name." I looked at Tyler's broken nose. I couldn't really ask him not to say something. Their fight had happened. I didn't want him to lie for me. I wasn't even sure if it mattered at this point. James resigned. Who cares what people say now?

"I'm not going to say anything, Penny. I started the fight. I'd get in trouble too."

"Thanks."

"So are you going to stay with him?"

"I am."

Tyler sighed. "When I saw you at the hospital I kind of lost it. I don't like seeing you hurt. I didn't mean to put you in an awkward position..."

"It's okay." We both sat there for a moment staring at each other. I wanted to hug him. I wanted him to know that I still cared about him. But I didn't want to risk leading him on again. It felt like a long time before he spoke again.

"I can't believe we're over," he said softly.

"I'm sorry, Tyler."

He reached down and pulled a small box out of his backpack. He slid it onto my desk. "I'm withdrawing from this class. I actually just came to give you this."

It was the present he had tried to give me when James had shown up. It seemed like ages ago that we had celebrated my birthday. But it was just last Friday. I picked up the box. "You don't need to drop the class."

"It's not because of you. I can't stand looking at him. And I don't want him to grade me. All I want to do is punch him whenever I see him. And I don't want to get my nose broken again." He smiled at me.

"He won't be teaching this class anymore."

"No?"

"He resigned this morning."

"Oh. It might be best if I just take it next semester anyway."

"It's not fair that I ruined this class for you."

"You didn't ruin it. You made it better. Hell, I probably only would have shown up on presentation days if I didn't have seeing you to look forward to."

I smiled at him. "Please don't drop it. If you do I'll just drop it too. I need you."

My words hung in the air. It wasn't fair for me to say that to him. But it was true. He was one of my best friends. I needed him now more than ever.

"I'll think about it. Either way, I don't want to listen to presentations today. So open your present before I go."

I unwrapped the small box and lifted the lid. There was a keychain with a circle attached to it that said "As you wish." It was the quote that Westley always said to Buttercup in The Princess Bride. I felt my throat constrict. It looked vintage, almost as if it had been made by hand. On the opposite side it said "Love, Apologetic Tyler." And there were two small charms attached to it, one of a heart and one of a key. The key to his heart. I felt my eyes start to water. It was the most beautiful keychain I had ever seen. It was more like a piece of art. I looked up at him. "Did you make this?"

"Yeah, it took freaking forever." He glanced at the clock. "I'm going to go. Text me, okay?" He stood up and grabbed his backpack.

"Tyler?" I didn't care how I was supposed to act around him. He was so sweet and thoughtful. I stood up and hugged him.

"I wish I had met you first." His voice sounded tight. He rested his chin on top of my head as he wrapped his arms around me. "I'd do anything to have a little longer with you. But I'll never forget our night together. And I don't want to."

"I don't want to either." My tears were making his shirt damp.

"I have to go." He kissed my forehead and pulled away from me. He walked out of the classroom without looking back at me.

Why did it feel like every time we saw each other recently we were ending our relationship? Over and over again. And each time felt more painful. Could we ever go back to just being friends? My hand was clenched around the keychain. I opened it and looked down at the keychain on my palm. I wiped my eyes with the back of my other hand and sat down. I grabbed my clutch and slipped the keychain on next to my dorm key.

I took a few deep breaths and wiped my eyes again. People were starting to arrive to class. The girls a few rows in front of me were whispering, but I overheard their conversation. There was a brunette and a blonde. The blonde girl was talking about how she wished she was sleeping with Professor Hunter. And the brunette was busy trying to figure out why James had chosen me to bang. I could feel their eyes on me. The phrase, "She's such a slut," seemed to be their favorite thing to say.

I knew people finding out would be bad. I just needed to ignore them. I pulled out my phone to pretend to be busy. There was a text from Professor Hunter:

"I hope that you're holding up okay. Can I convince you to come back to the apartment instead of listening to speeches?"

Seeing his words made me feel a little better. He had resigned for me. It was ridiculous for me to feel alone. He was trying to protect me. He had always said that. And his priority was to fix it for me, not himself. I typed out a response. "I want to face this. Waiting will make it worse. How did the rest of your conversation with the dean go?"

"I just had to sign a few papers. Can we at least meet for lunch? We really need to talk."

We need to talk? It was a line I had heard countless times in romantic comedies. It was synonymous with "we need to break up." I swallowed hard. What did the dean say to him? The feeling of being alone quickly returned. "Okay," I typed out and pressed send.