Chapter 6: What Is Not Mine

1221 Words
An awake before the sky had fully brightened. Room 203 lay in a gray haze, pale light slipping through the curtain gap and stretching into long streaks across the floor. For the first few seconds, she didn’t remember where she was. A sense of unfamiliarity settled over her, as if she had woken up in a place that was once deeply familiar but long abandoned. When she realized she was lying on her own bed, An finally exhaled—but the relief didn’t last. There was something in her mind that didn’t belong to this morning. Not a sound, not a clear image, but a heavy sensation, like the residue of a day that had already passed—just not her yesterday. She sat up, placed her feet on the floor, and in that instant, a very specific thought surfaced, whole and unmistakable: Avoid the back staircase today. An froze. Room 203 didn’t have a back staircase. That thought didn’t belong to this place. She stood still for a few seconds, trying to shake it off. “Just a dream,” An murmured. Yet when she reached for the doorknob, she hesitated—exactly at the spot the thought had warned her about. An realized she was reacting out of a habit she had never had before. She locked the door and stepped into the hallway. Everything looked normal. The middle-aged woman at the end of the corridor was sweeping the floor. Another tenant came down from the upper level, passing An without a glance. Daytime in this boarding house was always like this—familiar enough to deceive the senses, quiet enough to conceal small distortions. On her way to work, An noticed herself constantly observing trivial details: the placement of road signs, blind corners at intersections, the distance between utility poles. Not out of curiosity, but as if she were checking whether everything was still where it was supposed to be. The feeling wasn’t quite anxiety—it was more like an old habit awakening inside her, one she couldn’t remember ever forming. At the office, An sat in front of her screen but struggled to focus. When a colleague called her name, she reacted more slowly than usual. While answering a simple question, she suddenly used a turn of phrase that felt foreign to her own mouth. Her colleague looked briefly surprised, then nodded without asking further. At noon, An went to the restroom and washed her face. When she looked up at the mirror, she realized her gaze had changed slightly. Not in shape or color, but in the way it looked out. It was the gaze of someone accustomed to silent observation, accustomed to waiting without expecting a response. An lowered her head and took a deep breath. I’m overthinking this, she told herself. But as she stepped outside, An stopped in front of the evacuation map mounted on the wall. She stood there longer than necessary. In her mind, a route appeared with startling clarity—not from her current location, but from another room, on another floor, passing through unmarked paths. The familiarity of it sent a chill down her spine. That afternoon, An left work early. She didn’t explain why—she just felt the need to return to the boarding house while it was still light. On the way back, she stopped at a small copy shop, reprinted the notice about Trần Minh Khôi, folded it carefully, and slipped it into her bag. When she reached the boarding house, An didn’t go upstairs right away. She stood on the ground floor, looking at the back staircase—the one rarely used. The morning thought returned, clearer now: Don’t go that way. An looked around. No one was there. She took a few steps toward the back stairs, her heart pounding. Something shifted inside her, as if she had violated an unnamed rule. In the end, An turned away and headed for the main staircase. Inside Room 203, An closed the door and sat down on the bed. She took out the printed page and read it line by line. Every time she saw the name Trần Minh Khôi, a strange feeling rose in her chest—not quite fear, not pity either, but something like a belated acknowledgment. She placed her hand on her left wrist. The mark was clearer now. No longer a fleeting trace, but like something that had existed for a long time and had only just been recalled. An closed her eyes. This time, she didn’t resist. The images came slowly, in fragments. A rainy afternoon. A boarding room with a low ceiling. The steady drip of water. A man sitting on the bed, writing in a notebook. On the table lay a list of names. One line crossed out. Room 203. An opened her eyes, breathing hard. “It’s not mine,” she whispered. “It’s not my memory.” The clock read 1:39. An leaned back against the wall, leaving the light off. She waited—not out of curiosity, but because she was beginning to understand that the more she avoided these things, the more they would find other ways to surface. 2:05. The room grew colder. 2:12. An heard a very faint sound, like a pen touching paper—not from outside, but from somewhere very close, as if inside her own head. 2:17. The clock stopped. “You’re starting to remember,” the voice said, coming from nowhere, yet no longer unfamiliar. An opened her eyes. “Those aren’t my memories.” “Correct,” the voice replied. “But you’re holding them.” “Why?” An asked. “Because the room needs someone to remember,” the voice said slowly. “Otherwise, everything breaks.” “Then what am I?” An asked, her voice hoarse. There was a pause. “You’re the next one,” the voice said. “Or the last.” “What’s the difference?” An asked. “If you’re the next,” the voice replied, “you replace. If you’re the last… the room will be empty.” “And if the room is empty?” An asked. The voice let out a quiet, weary laugh. “There are no empty rooms,” he said. “Only people who don’t realize where they are in time.” An’s reflection on the wall blurred. For a brief moment, she saw her shadow overlap with another—taller, standing close behind her. “Do you regret it?” An asked. Silence stretched on. “Yes,” he finally said. “But not for staying.” “Then what?” An asked. “For thinking I could carry everything,” he replied. “Alone.” The clock ticked. 2:18. The light returned. The room fell silent. An sat there for a long time. When she finally stood up, she understood one thing clearly: her thoughts were no longer as continuous as before. There were reflexes, gaps, habits that didn’t belong to the An of a few weeks ago. She looked into the mirror. The eyes were still hers. But behind them, something else was learning how to look through. For the first time, An no longer wondered if she would be replaced. She began to wonder when.
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