Gay Bestfriend 6
1604 Words
Aphrodite's POV
After ng nangyari kanina habang nanood ay nagkwekwentuhan na din kami. About work, lovelife or anything na maisip ishare pero hindi pa rin namin masabi sakanila ang mga nangyari sa amin ni Ivo. I want to tell to our friends, but how would I if I'm not sure of what Ivo wants.
He said he want me to be only his but does that mean he love me too? Na he is ready to stop being gay? Because as I watch him talking to our friends his actions is all the same. He talks about boys that he is still interested in them.
Here I was curious of what his actions meant a while ago. I was ready to accept that he will be forever gay not until what happen. I know we done beyond those things but I was sure it was because of the drug like he told me just few nights ago.
He caught me staring at him. He raise his eyebrows as if asking me why I am looking at him.
I look away like I don't care if he caught me staring at him but my thumping heart say otherwise. How could he be so handsome just by raising his eyebrows? It is so unfair! He could give this reaction to me while me on the other hand, it was just nothing to him.
I talk to our friends as if nothing happened when we decided to sleep.
I was continuously moving around not getting tired.
I decided to make milk for myself so I woke up and walk towards the kitchen. Deep in thoughts, I was caught of guard by a back hug.
Without looking who was it, I was sure that it was Ivo. His manly scent gives the idea and how my whole being reacts to it.
" I missed you, you know?" He whispered not breaking our hug. His voice is warm as if soothing my soul, making me believe that he felt the same way as I does but who I am kidding?
I touch his hands that is hugging me and turn to face him. There I saw that handsome face, those eyes, that nose and lastly to his lips that kisses me.
I brought my hands to his cheeks.
" What am I to you Ivo?" I said full of curiosity as I uttered the question in my mind.
" What are you talking about? Of course you are my best friend. My special Girl Best friend" he said full of sincerity, but that sincerity broke my heart.
" Do you love me?" I said not minding my broken heart and his confused face.
" Ofcourse I love you. You are making me worried. What are these questions all about" I disregard his answer and make it clear. I smiled slightly
" I mean not as a friend. Do you love me as a woman?" My voice is still calm.
He was shocked at my question trying to open his mouth to say something but closes it again before anything would left his mouth.
I sighed at his hesitation to answer me. But I want to know his answer before I decide the big decision in my life.
I turn my back on him and focus on my cup of milk stirring it unconsciously.
" I love you, you know. I don't know when it started but I woke up one day I know I love you' I said breaking the silence between us. I didn't turn as I was afraid of his reaction.
" I--i " he was stammering when the only things that comes out his mouth is one letter.
" I know it may sound desperate but I want to know if you feel the same way. The same hearbeat when I saw you, the same consciousness when you are around, the same want to be near and the same reaction when you do something. I want to know Ivo. I want to know if I was stupid for wanting you even if I know it sounds crazy" I said as I tried to be brave and face him. Confusion and something I can't pin point is written in his face.
Long silence fill up the room, he slowly sat on the floor as if he gone weak.
" I-i don't know Aphro. I don't know. It's all new to me. I am confused but one thing I am sure of, I am scared to give up my identity for years. Im scared of changes that I want everything to be back to normal. " That's it. As I heard his answer I know I am lost.
He look up to me as if wanting to comfort me. So he did. He stand up and tried to reach out to me but unconsciously I step back.
He was hurt with what I did.
" But I love you Aphro. You know you are special to me. " He said struggling as he uttered those words.
" I know. I know. Just forget what happen. Let's just be friends like we used to. But friends without benefits. No friend make out each other. No friends having s*x. Or friends kissing torridly" I tried hard to say those things feeling the lump in my throat.
He didn't say any word as I walk towards my room.
" Let me sleep in my room. Give me space and tomorrow I promise everything will be the same" I said and smiled at him while I close the door and that night I cried hard.
_______
I woke up in the morning not feeling well but I tried hard to get up.
I took a shower and pick a dress.
I call my father for my decision.
" Good morning dad" I said as I tried to sound normal.
" Good morning anak. "
" I have decided that I will accept your proposal about my marriage" I can tell that he wasn't expecting what I said.
" Are you sure anak? Though I am happy you agreed but I want you to know that I am not forcing you to it. You can still back out and I will not stop you" I was touched at what my father said. He is the most amazing dad I met.
I laugh at him
" Ofcourse I am sure dad. That's why I called you to agree to it. Stop being dramatic dad I already know you love me. And I love you too" I can't help but smile. I still have my family left.
" Okay anak. The dinner will be tonight. Just be yourself and I know they will love you" we just said casual things after asking how are things and bid goodbye.
I leave my room feeling better but not that okay to forget what happen last night. I greeted my friends and Ivo. The casual greetings, acting like what I always did. Back to normal he said.
And I know I will try my best for him not to get hurt and adjust to what he wants. Back to our normal days when nothing intimate happen to us.
______
Ivo's POV
It's been two weeks since Aphro confronted me about my feelings for her. I know I sound asshole saying those things when we did something more than friends would do, but what can I do? I was confused.
I know I am gay since I was a kid and those feelings that I feel to Aphro. The way my body react when she was near, how arouse and erect my length when she tried to lick me. I was mad not because I am mad at her but because I am mad at myself how I love her mouth doing those things to me.
And even the night I was drug I know I can handle it my own way but she felt irresistible that time that I lost to what my heart and body wants.
Every thrust I did inside her , every kiss we shared, every moan she utter, everything about her ruin my belief of what I really am.
Fear. That is the word I know I felt that night. Afraid of accepting what I am turning into. That is why I said I want to be back to normal. A gay.
It went according to what I want the next day. She treated me as her best friend the same back then. But why I am not happy?
What is wrong with me? This is what I want right? But why do I want to kiss her everyday I saw her ? To make love to her? To do something a gay wouldn't do to a woman?
And why I am hurting and my heart breaking into pieces as I stare at her outside the restaurant as she laugh heartily with other man? That there is other man who can make her laugh the same way I did? That there is a man who can touch her lovingly that I can't? That I fear he would be the one I wishes to be with her.
The man who can openly tell her I love her without fear and confusion.
And without any other word I turn my back at them. Determine to do something to lose my fear. Determine to do something crazy so that my fear will vanish.
And that fear is . The fear of losing the only woman I love before anyone can take her away from me.
Wait for me Aphro. Now I am sure of my answer.
I love you Aphro not as a friend but as a Woman
To be continued
- Writer
