Second Chances

Chapter 3 - Wants and Needs

Issie impatiently curls around my legs as I get her saucer from the cupboard and begin putting her favourite meal of duck in jelly on it. She is jumping up on the worktop and nudging my hand that holds the fork and is apparently not moving quickly enough. Aiden's voice gets louder as he gets closer and still sounds friendly.

“When?” he asks, “Right, what time? I should be able to get there for then. I don't think I've got anything on after half two. Okay, shall I pick you up or meet you there? I'll see you tomorrow, yeah, kiss the kids for me,” he says with a smile that radiates genuine warmth and love for his children before hanging up and turning his attention to me and Issie who is greedily lapping at her supper that is now on the floor.

“Phone answered, cat fed, so...where were we?” He’s stalking towards me, making me step backwards although the one thing I want is to be close to him again.

“Is everything okay? With your wife, ex-wife, and your children? I mean do you need to go? I don't mind if you do, well I kind of do mind because I would rather you stayed, but if you have to…” I am grateful when Aiden interrupts and prevents me babbling on any longer.

“No wonder you teach English, all those words. Everything is fine. My ex-wife and children are fine. I don't need to go but am rather pleased that it would bother you if I did. My eldest son has been awarded a merit certificate that his teacher forgot to tell us about until she saw Jan today and the assembly is tomorrow afternoon. Jan waited until the kids were all in bed to call in case I was unable to make it. Now, where were we?” he repeats making me smile as I realise that he is a good dad, the sort of man a dad should be.

“We were kissing, in the hall.” I gasp as he closes the distance yet somehow seems to be stalking me as if I am his prey.

“Yes we were.” His expression turns darker.

“Would you like some tea or coffee?” I’m feeling nervous again all of a sudden.

A shake of Aiden's head is his only response before his mouth is closing over mine again and we kiss, as if our earlier kiss had never been interrupted. I have no clue how long we remain in the kitchen kissing. I lose track of time and become lost in the moment, in the kiss and before I know it I am on the sofa, beneath Aiden whose lips seem to be a permanent fixture on me. I am minus my shoes and my dress is around my hips, partly having been pushed up by Aiden and also having ridden up by the friction of the sofa beneath me and Aiden above me.

I want to be naked. I want Aiden naked. To feel his skin against mine, yet he seems in no hurry. Part of me wants to point out that I need to get up in the morning, that there is a necessary urgency in his seduction of me. To point out that I have never 'gone all night' but I say nothing because a larger part of me, the part of me that feels increasingly strung out wants this blissful torture he’s subjecting me too. I am in turmoil; I want to feel Aiden's hands on me, all over me, inside of me and yet I don't want it to be over. I want to be made to wait for the release my body so desperately desires. I have never before understood pleasure gained from submission, until now. I think I get it.

I have always been a bit of a control freak. I don't take chances, I'm a planner, a list maker. I leave nothing to chance and try to pre-empt every possibility and eventuality, even with s*x, which typically makes me less highly strung because I plan for every eventuality.

I had a friend at uni who was always raving about the power of submission and I could never get my head round it; she used to talk about it using terms such as empowerment, the freedom of submitting, how giving yourself entirely was a priceless gift. She once explained that s*x had an added dimension to it when you never quite knew what was going to happen, that you just knew it would be what you needed even if it wasn't what you wanted and it sounded wonderful, but I never bought into it. I wanted to believe it, to understand it but I never did because of the control freak thing. I never ever trusted another person, a man one hundred percent and I figured you'd have to if you were handing over power and control. Would I give that to Aiden I asked myself and immediately answered that just about now I would give him anything, everything and he had barely touched me. That meant if, when he did finally touch me I was f****d, metaphorically and hopefully literally because I was currently feeling things for a man I had known less than a week I never had for any other man, including Miller.

I remember times when I had faked orgasm with Miller in order to fit our love making into my schedule, knowing he would never come before me so if I had to be somewhere and didn't have time to climax I faked it. By the same token there had been occasions when I would prevent myself from coming, by adjusting my position so that Miller's efforts were less likely to pay dividends or even leap up to do something urgent I'd forgotten in order to go off the boil before returning to Miller who would have to start again just to ensure that things didn't end too soon. Miller had been a good lover, great. He knew how to touch me, he understood the workings of the female anatomy and specifically mine. He had taught me most of what I knew of s*x, but he had something of a formula, especially towards the end of our marriage.

I feel a definite erection against me now and become slightly more desperate to feel Aiden naked. I imagine how he might make love to me, with slow precision and don't doubt there will be no faking it with him and moreover imagine he would refuse to allow s*x to be scheduled into a stringent time slot on my to do list. I can visualise him f*****g me longer and harder just to compromise my list and control freak nature. God, I am soaking and beyond desperate to be touched now.

“What are you thinking there, Eleanor?” Aiden’s question startles me and so unexpected is it that I answer without a second thought.

“Sex.” That is my response, a response that makes Aiden laugh, a deep, rich sound that makes me hornier.

“Good to know we're on the same page.” Another laugh sounds around us as I realise that my thoughts were about my previous s****l experiences and hopefully my future ones. I decide that my reminiscing and comparisons can wait. I want to give Aiden everything I have including my full attention. I suddenly realise how special tonight is to me, how special Aiden could be and know that I don't want to miss a single thing we might share.

His hands have now found their way beneath my dress and one hand is cupping my behind. Oh God, I think I am going to go crazy if he doesn't touch me soon. If his flesh doesn't make contact with my own. My desire is becoming uncontrollable. I honestly believe that if he doesn't give me more soon I will be out of control. I will add begging to my constant moans and gasps, and that in addition to the pool of moisture that is struggling to be contained by my pants.

“I think I might spend all night here, kissing you.” He whispers the words against my ear before trickling kisses down my neck until I am panting when his tongue flexes and presses against that soft, sweet spot near my collar bone.

“Aiden, please. I need you…I need more.” My voice is a whine that irritates me if not Aiden.

“Oh baby, do you?” he asks but I know he knows I do and he is just taunting me with his words. “What do you want?” he asks and I am sure he is smiling at me, no laughing at me.

“Touch me, please. I need to feel you.” I gasp in needy broken speech. I really hate myself just about now. Could I be any more pathetic I wonder and as if knowing what I am asking of myself Aiden strokes a hand, no a finger, maybe two up my inner thigh. He presses into my flesh firmly and sends shock waves through my whole body, but he stops before he reaches the apex of my thighs making me want to cry. I realise that I may actually cry, real tears. “Please,” I repeat and swallow back a sob that somehow makes me sound more emotional and desperate than I am, if that's possible.

“Tell me what you want.” He looks into my eyes with an expression that suggests I’m missing something here.

“I did, I need to feel you,” I repeat, confused more than ever.

He makes a tut-tut sound that I find irritating and then wonder how it would feel if he made that sound, that action with his mouth while sucking on my clit. It pulses with the anticipation of how it would feel to be suctioned between Aiden's tongue and the roof of his mouth. I let out a low moan that makes Aiden arch a brow at me, it really is like he is in my head or can read my mind.

“Let's try again. What do you want, not need, want?”

“Isn't it the same?” I ask as his hand cups my mound precisely. I don't see how he is holding me but I feel it and know that the heel of his hand is resting on my mound and it feels good, but sensitive. If he were to press down it could be uncomfortable, uncomfortable and restraining. He could pin me down with his heal against my p***y, how ridiculous would that be? He spreads his thumb and fingers so that in each of my groins rests two digits, leaving just his middle finger lazily lying along the outside of my slit. I am struggling to focus as Aiden answers my question.

“Want and need are very different, Eleanor. Want is about what you desire, but need, well that is what you require and what is necessary, they are not always the same. I will give you what you need baby, but it may not always be what you want,” he tells me and I have no clue as to whether I understand the words he's speaking. He sounds like he is speaking the same language as Delia at uni, but beyond that I am incapable of, well anything. “Open your legs, just a little,” he says and I comply. “Good girl.” He commends me and I am genuinely thrilled. Who am I and what has happened to the real me?

Aiden raises his middle finger briefly and I realise that I am open now, not wide open and not just my legs. My s*x is opening, my lips are parting in spite of the stickiness trying to hold them together and I can feel that my inner lips are revealing the soft folds of my body and my clit is standing proud and pulsing with excitement. I cry loudly and arch my back off the sofa as a wave of pleasure washes over me and all because Aiden has allowed his middle finger to snap back sharply along my length.

“Would you have ever asked me to do that, Eleanor? Would you ever have wanted that?”

“No.” My reply is honest and I hope there will be some kind of reward for it.

“And yet you needed it, your body required it.” He sounds smug and surprisingly I don’t want to punch him for it. “So what do you want? What do you think you want?”

“I want you to touch me. For us both to be naked. I want to come. I want you to make me come with your fingers, your mouth, and your d**k. I want everything you can give me.” I am almost sobbing.

“Of course you do, baby, but I don't think you need everything, not tonight, but eventually I’m going to give you it all. I don't actually believe you know what everything is, but we can talk about it after. After I’ve got us both naked and made you come, with my fingers, my mouth and my d**k. After I have f****d you, so why don't you take me upstairs to your bedroom and we can get naked.”

Aiden gets to his feet and taking my hand in his pulls me to mine and leads us upstairs where we pass Issie on the landing.

“She does know that there is only one p***y coming in that bedroom tonight, doesn't she?” he asks with a smile and then with a dry tone and expression stares down into my eyes. “And it is a wet and sticky p***y that I am going to enjoy tasting.”

I stare up at him speechless, unable and not wanting to deny what he is saying. His words actually trigger another rush of moisture to leave my body and I feel sure he can sense it and smell it. I am one big mass of horniness. Issie usually sleeps on the landing or in the bathroom, but sometimes wanders into my room as I leave the door open at night, but tonight I will be closing the door that I have just opened because nobody should see me in the state I know I am going to be in, nobody except Aiden.