I will never reject you

Confession.

I woke up feeling well rested, another night of a good night's sleep. I wasn't used to this. I usually slept very little as I was haunted by nightmares from the abuse in the orphanage. His presence had an effect on me. I was restless, though. He was still sleeping. He looked peaceful. I got up quietly and put on leggings, an athletic bra and a t-shirt. I heard him stear and turned to look at him.

"Good morning."

I went and sat next to him at the side of the bed.

"Good morning."

He replied in a low voice.

"I am going for a workout."

"Can I join you?"

"Sure!"

***

Moments later, we were walking down the stairs in my basement, which I had converted into a gym. I had put wall to wall mirrors in three of the walls. On one side, I had a static biker and a running machine. On the other side, free weights, a press bench, and

at the back, a punching bag hugged from the ceiling.

I started my warm-up running while he jumped rope. I started slowly and progressed really fast. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, I ran faster and faster, feeling trapped, trying to escape myself. All I could think of was my conflicting emotions. I didn't want to leave my home and pack, but I couldn't deny it either. I started developing feelings for Philip. He was definitely of good character.

Then there were the ramifications. If I rejected him and stayed, I would bring shame to Dave, who took me and my brothers in. Not to mention the break of the alliance or even war. His deep voice brought me back from my thoughts.

"Are you okay?"

I started slowing down the machine, eventually bringing it to a halt. I was dripping wet from the sweat and completely red. I hopped off.

"All good."

I was smiling, trying very hard to hide my worries. It took him one and a half days to completely bring my life upside-down.

My phone chimed, a text from Dave.

"Good Morning Sofia, I am postponing your birthday party. Instead, I am having a gathering for Philip as a guest to our territory. We have to honour him.

"I understand. We will be there."

"So how are things going?"

"Good, he really is a good guy."

"I am glad, I'll see you both tonight."

I looked at Philip's direction.

"Dave has organized a gathering in your honour tonight."

He narrowed his eyes

"What about your birthday party?"

"It's been postponed for a few days."

"Sofia, I'll call Dave to change this plan. I don't need the formalities."

"No, it's really ok, I don't need a party, honestly."

I smiled and took to punching and kicking the bag my old time favourite, got me through the tough times, and helped keep my beast in check. He was lifting weights. I let out all my anger and frustration, punching and kicking, letting go of all that had been boiling inside me. I hadn't realized that I was screaming. Philip was staring at me stunned. Finally, I fell to the floor, exhausted. I was on my back catching my breath. He towered over me

"Feel better?"

"Much!"

I replied, letting out a soft sigh. He gave me his hand, and I took it he pulled me up, and as soon as I was steady on my feet, he placed his hand on my cheek.

"What is it?"

I knew he was expecting a different answer, but I couldn't bring myself to open up.

"How about a massive breakfast, I am starving."

"Sounds good."

He replied with an unconvinced expression on his face.

***

We were sitting next to each other on the kitchen counter, enjoying breakfast. I was taking in his sweet, musty smell, forgetting my concerns, and relaxing while enjoying his company.

"Tell me more about you, Philip."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything!"

He smiled.

"I had a very normal uneventful upbringing, my parents both loving did their best to raise me well and train me to be a good Alpha.

My mother is a doctor and she insisted I get a good education. I went to college and studied political science and strategy…"

I was following his story with all my attention, studying his expressions while he was talking.

"… when I finished my studies three years ago, I returned home, focused on my training, and hoping to meet my mate."

He paused and looked deep into my eyes

"I was raised by two parents that are the perfect mates, complimenting one another which made them stronger and wiser…"

He kept my gaze captive in his.

"... I always wanted the same as them...my true mate… my partner in life, supporting each other in everything as equals."

It was obvious this man was honourable, educated, and wise. He knew how to care and love, and he was dedicated to his pack.

Shit I really am starting to have feelings for him despite the mate bond.

" ...You see Sofia…"

He continued putting his hand on my shoulder and, with the other, swept my hair to the side, exposing the side of my neck, my marking spot.

"I will not be with you unless you give yourself to me for the rest of our lives, not just for one night."

Then he buried his face on my neck, smelling me, lightly kissing me and biting me, sending tingling sensations all over my body. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, allowing myself to enjoy the sensation of his lips on my skin, and then I was overcome with guilt. I don't deserve him. I lightly pushed him off and dropped my head looking at the floor. He moved backwards slightly to look at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

I muttered.

"Talk to me, Sofia."

I couldn't look at him or say anything.

"Sofia…"

"I don't deserve you... you deserve someone better than me...I can't give you everything you deserve."

He looked at me with a questioning expression.

"Why are you saying that?"

He put his fingers on my chin and lifted my head. I kept my gaze low.

"Look at me, baby."

I lifted my gaze and looked into his questioning, beautiful brown eyes. I had never opened up to anyone about certain things in my past. Things I did! Bad things!

"You should be running as far away from me as possible. I am no good."

"Stop doing this Sofia, stop trying to drive me away. Why are you saying this now?"

"I've done things that I am not proud of, things that would bring shame to my adoptive father and pack and possibly even get me expelled and make me a rogue."

He gave me a worried look

"You can tell me, I promise I won't tell anyone or judge you."

I looked at his face, searching. All I could see was reassurance. Worst thing that can happen is to reject you, said the voice in my head. I let a soft sigh

"I burned down the orphanage. "

His eyes widened in surprise.

"I made sure all the children were out in safety, and I found all the employees that abused me and my brothers and beat them nearly to death. I placed them out in the yard and set the building on fire."

He kept looking at me stunned, but I didn't see judgment in his eyes, so I carried on.

"After all was done, I was ashamed for letting my resentment take over me and do what I did. I couldn't bear the thought of the shame and disappointment Dave would feel. He saved me, adopted me, and raised me, giving me the opportunity to do and be whatever I want, and I broke the pack law by interfering with the humans...."

He kept listening carefully

"... the guilt turned to anger and during a rogue attack I lost control and went feral brutally killing two rogues...I saw the horrified looks of my team...and I myself was afraid of how I lost it...so at 17 I gave up being a warrior and focused on a more normal life in an attempt to control my rage and tame my feral wolf side."

He had a look of disbelief and seemed deep in thought regarding all the information I gave him.

We both stayed quiet for a few minutes.

"... you see, I am not the one for you... you deserve better. The goddess made a mistake to send you my way."

" I'll be the judge of that."

He replied angrily

" All that is in the past. You made a mistake when you were very young and then spent several years punishing yourself…Is this why you don't want a mate? You think that you don't deserve that kind of happiness? we all make mistakes."

" It doesn't matter, I promised you six days and nothing more…"

" Fine."

He said, disappointed. I pushed my wolf instinct way down, all the acceptance I had started developing started closing off. I know all my family will be disappointed, but I can't do this.

He looked deep into my eyes

"Now tell me this… why is it that you can resist ME an Alpha so easily?"

"I wouldn't say it's easy to resist you... but have you not guessed it?

He waited for me to tell him.

" My biological father was an Alpha, I have Alpha blood running through my veins."

"That makes sense."

Then he got up from his stool and put his arms around me in a comforting embrace. I tried to resist him pulling away.

"I only have my mate for 5 more days. Let me take in as much as I can."

He said in a low voice.

I closed my eyes and allowed him to hold me. He started caressing my back, then slowly moving his hand on the back of my neck and finally on the side of my neck, squeezing it lightly, sending sparks all over my body. I gasped at the sensation, and he whispered in my ear

"You belong with me! Stop fighting this!"

Then he pressed his lips on mine. The kiss turned deep and passionate really quick, then he abruptly broke our kiss, I gasped and kept my eyes closed, I yearned for more. He caressed my cheek and I opened my eyes. What is he doing to me? He is tearing down my defense walls one by one. f**k I am in trouble.

"I am gonna take a shower."

He said, giving me a lustful look and his irresistible smug smile. He swiftly went up the stairs.

After my confession to him and even though I held back some of the details. I started rethinking my life and choices. I was longing for change. I hated that he was figuring me out so easily cause it was true after what I had done I didn't think I deserve happiness. Did I?