Around six in the morning, I head back to my room to shower. The door is unlocked and the room is empty. The silence hits harder than I expect.
Once I step into the shower and the steam fills the space, water running down my back, I feel the crack in my armor. The moment I am alone, everything I have been holding together starts to slip.
I know I am messing things up with her. I know I am not supporting her healing the way she needs. At the same time, she does not understand what it did to me. I would not survive losing her. The thought alone makes my chest tighten until it hurts. I felt our bond strain when she was taken. I felt her slipping away. I knew she was dying while she was held captive. The certainty of it was like a blade to the heart. I know without question that if she had d
