Love & Fear | Book Two

Eleven

I woke up with a gasp, the dream fading away as soon as I opened my eyes. I turned to my side, expecting to see Michael sleeping soundly beside me, but my face met the back of the couch. Turning back to face the ceiling, I rubbed the grogginess from my eyes and sat up. The throw blanket that was usually draped on the back of the couch was covering me, as if someone didn't want to keep me from my sleep. I stared into the darkness of the living room, trying to figure out what time it was or where Michael went. But I never got an answer to either of those questions as I pealed the blanket off of me and quietly padded into the kitchen, hoping I wouldn't wake anyone up. I knew Michael wouldn't have stayed long, but I didn't think he would leave me without saying goodbye. Maybe he didn't want to wake me.

What time was it? Did Mom and Dad get home? What was I going to tell them when they asked me why I was asleep on the couch and not in my old room?

Along the stove the green electronic letters shown in the darkness as I squinted to make out what time it was. Rubbing my eyes again, I stared at the clock: 6:40 AM. Lovely, I guess I won't be going back to sleep now that I'm already up. walking back into the living room, I hastily fold the blanket back and throw it back on the couch before quietly walking back into my hold room. Shutting the door behind me, I flicked on the light, immediately regretting it as I winced from the pain. As my eyes adjusted, I made my way into my bathroom, longing to take a shower and calm my nerves as my dream began to flood back to me. Pealing my pajamas off of me, I turned the knob for the shower and let the water run over my hand as I adjusted the temperature.

Stepping into the tub, I let the water run over me as I closed the curtains. As the water flowed over me, I shut my eyes the events of this past week flooded my mind. Meeting Michael, finding out what he was, our first kiss. When we slept together. How I was able to see his memories and instantly grow closer with him as if we had known each other for years rather than just a few days.

I wasn't sure I could handle living so far away from him. The thought of it broke my heart, but was I ready? Did I really want to leave my home of six years and live with Michael? What would I tell my family?

"I'll tell them the truth." I whispered to myself, answering my question as I poured shampoo into my palm and scrubbed it into my scalp. "One thing at a time. You can do this. You and Michael would do this together."

After my shower, I wrapped a towel around myself as the steam billowed around me. Flicking on the air vent, I tried to dry myself off the best I could before exiting the bathroom. Grabbing my brush and my hairdryer, I began to blow dry my hair, determined to look my best for Greyson and Mandy's wedding this afternoon. After my hair was dry I pulled on my underwear and a nude colored bra before putting on a cute blue and white striped romper that crossed at the back. I think my favorite part were the white tassels that lined the him of the shorts.

I was lucky I had one of those bras that didn't have straps on the back so I could wear clothes that showed my back. Not that I did it very often but it was fun from time to time. Pulling on a pair of brown sandals, I ran my fingers through my hair as I exited my bedroom and into the living room. By now it was probably seven thirty and I knew by now dad would be making a pot of coffee. And sure enough, there he was in his familiar shorts and a t-shirt and graying hair, fumbling over a pot of coffee and the smell hit me.

"Hey." I waved, walking over to him and hugging him from behind.

"Hey sweetie, did you sleep okay?" He asked as the coffee began to pour into the pot. I only nodded. "Why did you leave the dinner so early? Did something happen."

"I was um, I was overwhelmed and I needed a minute to myself." I responded, letting go of my father.

"Yes, it has been a little overwhelming for you these last few days." Dad said in deep thought, "What I actually want to know is why I saw you fall asleep on Michael last night."

At the mention of Michael I felt my cheeks burn red, and I watched as my father smile in complete understanding. "You love him don't you?"

"Wh-what?" I squeaked, not believing what my father just asked me.

"Don't play dumb Loretta, I know love when I see it and I know that you are in love with him. It's instant and intense and it happened to me with your mother. I knew I would spend the rest of my life with her, even when your aunt Tabitha and Nova were trying to force us together."

I smiled over at him at the mention of my family and their love story. My aunt Nova and my mom were in line at Sting Rays when Buddy, my dad's Great Dane at the time ran mom over and that's how they met. Ever since they met they had been inseparable.

"I," I paused, unsure of what he would say once I tell him the truth, "I'm in love with Michael. We have this strange connection, I feel at home when I'm around him and I feel like I have known him for years and not just days. He's kind, and patient and he understands me." I breathed, watching my father as he contemplated my words, "But, I don't know what I should do when we go our separate ways tomorrow, I don't know if I can live so far away from him. It's like, if I'm not around him I won't be myself, it's like a part of myself is gone. And I don't want to sound needy and I desperately don't want to hurt him Dad." By now I was crying and I wasn't sure why. Why was I so emotional? Why did I have to feel everything so deeply?

"Oh honey." My dad cooed, pulling me in for a hug, "It's okay, it's going to be okay."

"I know I must sounds crazy right now." I sobbed, "But it's how I feel and I don't know what to do."

"You don't sound crazy." He said, "I think what you need to do is talk to him. Be honest and take things slow."

"Okay." I sniffed, wiping my face.

"Do you want some coffee?" He asked, grabbing a mug from the cabinet.

"No I'm okay, I might just make some french toast."

"Alright." He paused, just as mom came into the kitchen, I watched as his eyes twinkled at the sight of her the same look I saw Michael gave me. I couldn't help but smile as I thought about it as dad walked over to my mom and kissed her softly. I knew that I wanted a relationship just like my parent's: full of love, honesty, and trust.