Storm Warning

Saying Goodbye

                The party atmosphere began to change around midnight as people began to feel the effects of the late night. A couple of girls, seen drinking earlier that night, stumbled out of the bathroom looking like they just got back from Hell. A red-head in a stunning white strapless dress had brown smudges down the front of her dress and around her neckline, resembling a botched attempt to clean herself. There were also clear chunks of vomit in the lower section of her hair, indicating her friends failed to pull her hair back – probably because they were also hunched over a toilet bowl. The red-head was being led by another girl, who looked just as messed up as her friend, given her uncoordinated stumbling and the sluggish movements. Although Maddie didn't supply the alcohol, you can always trust that someone, will in fact, bring the alcohol. Rolling my eyes, I turn from this scene to noticing the DJ putting away his turntable in confusion only to realize that the music was no longer playing.

                Surprisingly, the lack of music was the signal needed to usher everyone out of the club. After a sudden shove from a girl in fishnet stockings, I quickly make my way to the wall in time to witness as a herd of groggy and poor drunk souls move from the dance floor and quickly funnel themselves out of the club at a rather slow and painful pace. Sighing with my own mental and physical exhaustion, I sit at the nearest abandoned table with discarded drinks, cake, and napkins and watch as Maddie elbows people out of her way as she works to load her car with my presents. I smile to myself as I watched my fierce friend not give two shits about the people trying to find their ways out of the door. As the last person walked...  I mean, stumbled... through the door, I was glad that I lived in such a small town. No driving drunk necessary to get you where you needed to go. It also made me wonder what kind of parents are out here letting their kids drink, but hey, they aren't my kids.

                Jerking from a gentle touch on my elbow in surprise, I look up into gorgeous green eyes flecked with brown. I smile up at him uneasily, knowing that I still needed to end things with him. Absentmindedly, I rub the spot on my arm where the girl shoved me with her bony elbow. Misinterpreting my smile, Derek smiles, “Getting tired of the large crowd?” Not knowing what else to say, I nod. Ignoring the fact that there, technically, wasn't a crowd anymore. Almost immediately, our attention is snatched back to the door as Maddie yells out in anger about bony elbows. Chuckling, Derek puts his mouth close to my ear and asks, “want to get out of here?”

                Without thinking, I nod and smile at him. He grabs my hand and pulls me toward the back room and the back door there just as Maddie looks at us and fights the crowd standing just outside the front door as she tries to get to us and yells, “HEY! GET BACK HERE!”. Feeling bad about leaving Maddie with the clean-up, but whimsical as I ran out the back door with Derek and took a deep breath of fresh air… only to cough as I catch a whiff of the garbage to my left. Wrinkling my nose, I look at Derek, who laughs and continues to pull me forward out of the alley toward his navy-blue pick-up parked on the corner.

                Climbing into the cab of the truck, I watch Derek jog around the front of the car to the drivers’ side door. Smiling, he hops in, starts the car, and peels away from the curb just as Maddie runs around the corner and stomps her foot in agitation as she watches us drive away. “Wow. She made good time time through that mass of bodies.”

                I laugh softly. “That would be Maddie for you.”

                He nods. “She is going to be something someday.” I nod in agreement. “I figured you would be tired after the party; so, I planned our special date for a later date. I thought we could go to the park… the one where I clocked you upside the head with a frisbee.”

                I couldn’t help but laugh, “What an elegant way to put the head trauma I had that day.” He looks at me and fights the smile over my dramatic remarks as I absentmindedly rub the place where the frisbee had hit. Seeing his open expression and his expression of unconditional love, I can no longer hold the smile on my face.

               Noticing my face fall, he grips the steering wheel tighter and drives to the park that was thirty minutes from the club before sighing. He pulls off to the side of the road. We were friends before we ever became a couple. There was never any animosity during our on-again off-again periods, but his sigh indicated he knew was about to happen. Why wouldn’t he? He knew me as well as Sarah or Maddie did. “I knew it was coming, but I was hoping it would not happen for a couple weeks; so, I could prepare."

                I stare at him in confusion, trying to determine if my hunch that he knew was correct like I thought, but how could it be. You can't prepare for a break-up. Maybe I was wrong. He didn't know. “You knew what was coming?”

                He offers a small smile. “You’re breaking up with me.” Err... okay. so, he did know. He did not say it like a question, because he already knew the truth. I was naïve to think that this boy, who knew me just as well as Maddie, would not notice that my feelings have changed. “I have known for weeks. You act differently. You enjoy my company, but the passion that was there before is gone.”

                I look out the window at the still trees who lean forward enough to appear as if they were straining to hear the conversation. Whispering so softly that Derek had to lean across the console to hear me, I reply with words that do nothing to make the situation any easier for either of us. “I’m sorry.” Sighing, I turn to look at him because he deserves nothing less than to look into the eyes of the girl who strung him along for months. “I never meant for it to go this far.”

                He smiles at me, sadly. Unbelievable! A girl breaks his heart, and he still offers a smile to ease her own pain. Why couldn’t I just love him like I did before? Why did things have to change? “I know. I am not mad. I’m sad that I couldn’t make you feel the same as before, but the connection between us was always strong. That’s not going to change.” Patting my hand as I marvel at his good-natured heart, he continues. “We always got along and enjoyed each other’s company, right?” He looks at me for assurance and unable to say anything, I simply nod. “For a time, it was seen as impossible to just be friends with the opposite sex.” I watch him as he stares straight ahead and tightens his hand on the steering wheel, the only sign of how hard this situation is on him. “We got together for the first time in middle school. There was a lot of crap about girls and cooties back then. Remember? We always fought because I was dumb and unsure of how to tell you that I liked you, but we had the same sense of humor and got along when I wasn’t a dumb butt. Actually. Now that I think about it, you probably didn't even know we were dating in middle school. I never asked you out. We never held hands. Never kissed. Never had that relationship talk. Damn. I was actually really bad at this is middle school apparently.” I chuckle softly at the fond memory and as he voiced his own dumb boyness. “We got together because our friends pushed us into it, but then, we quickly fell into a rhythm, and we loved each other.” Sighing, he looks over at me as he switches gears, “But we were young, and it was dumb to think that we wouldn’t change as we got older. We are two completely different people than we were in middle school or even when we started high school.” We both sit in silence for a few minutes. “It may be time that we just be friends”.

                I look at him. “Would you be able to do that?” How could he want that with how much he is hurting? How could I not love such a sweet and caring guy? Why is it that he can’t feel the void I have started to feel in my soul? But I knew something he didn't, it wasn't him. I could feel it. Something was changing, and that change was all me.

                He looks at me for a few minutes. “It may take me a few weeks to get to that point, but I will. So, the answer is yes. We have been friends for a long time. I rather be your friend than to not have you in my life at all.”

                I look at him and nod. “I understand. I feel the same way about your friendship.” We spend the next half hour sitting in silence as we adjust to the new reality. Needing it to end on good terms while also not wanting it to end at all. Needing to leave, but not wanting to go. Afraid that being friends may prove harder than we realized, and thus, losing each other anyway.