Almost Always You

Chapter 3

It was almost midnight when the party was over. James had left with some girl without informing me. Peter came downstairs for a while. He apologized for not being able to spend time with me and went back upstairs, saying he was tired because of all the s*x he'd had.

Mercy had fallen asleep on the couch with Josh. I think they both like each other.

Xander was picking up his drunk friends and taking them upstairs to their rooms. I decided to help clean up, as it would mean less work for Xander. After a while, Xander came back downstairs and started helping me.

"Are you the one who usually cleans up?"

"Nope. It's always someone else, but today I'm doing it because I'm not drunk."

We finished cleaning up after a while.

"I've put everyone to bed."

"What about these people?" I asked, pointing toward the random guys sleeping on the floor.

"They'll be gone by morning. Harry is sleeping on my bed. He's completely out; I don't think I'll be able to move him. I think I'll be joining these guys on the floor."

"Umm... We have an extra bed in our room. If you want, you can sleep there."

He smiled at me.

"Okay. I'll just go and get my jacket."

He ran upstairs.

Xander came back wearing his jacket. We walked out and made our way toward my dorm. When we reached it, Xander noticed that the elevator was out of order.

"This elevator is always out of order. I don't even remember seeing it work."

"Why were you at the girls' dorm?"

"I've f****d a lot of girls in these dorms," he said with a sly smile.

I felt weird, and somewhere deep down, it hurt when he said that. I ignored the feeling and rolled my eyes at him.

We reached my room. As we entered, Xander went toward the empty bed and took off his shoes and shirt.

Oh my God!!! Look at those abs. They're so glorious.

"Done staring?" he asked, laughing.

"I wasn't staring. I've seen better."

I looked into his beautiful eyes. I was lying, of course. I'd never seen someone with such a perfect physique. He had eight-pack abs, for f**k's sake.

"Oh, really? And who might that be, may I ask?"

"My ex-boyfriend, Adam."

"You had a boyfriend?" he asked, sounding disappointed.

Maybe I was just imagining things.

"Yes, for two years. I broke it off because I was coming to London, and we knew it wasn't going to work long-distance."

"Oh! That's great. So, he had a body like me?"

"Well, he didn't have eight-pack abs like you, but he had six. I'm sure he would still be stronger than you. By the way, are you on steroids?"

I didn't want him to know that I was intimidated by him, and I definitely didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I thought he was sexy.

"Nope! It's natural, baby."

Oh, the way he called me baby.

"And how do you know that he's stronger than me, huh?"

He was now walking toward me, and I subconsciously started walking backward. I stopped when I felt the closet door against my back.

He was now standing just inches away from me. He lowered his head to look me in the eye.

"Tell me, El. How do you know that he's stronger?"

I was losing my senses. Having him this close to me was bringing back all those feelings I had for him two years ago. And I couldn't let that happen.

He left me alone back then, and I knew he would never feel the same way about me. I knew I was thinking about it as if he had used me and left without saying a word, but the thought of never seeing him again had pained me.

I wasn't ready to get hurt again this time.

He was now looking at my lips.

I pushed him away and said, "I just happen to know, alright? Now turn around. I have to change."

He didn't say a word and just turned around.

I changed my clothes. It was really warm, so I decided to put on a tank top and shorts.

"I'm done," I said once I had finished changing.

He turned around, and his eyes went dark. He just stared at me.

I cleared my throat, and he seemed to snap out of it. He went toward the empty bed and stripped down to his boxers.

Once he got settled in, I turned off the lights and went to bed.

We were quiet for some time. The silence was killing me.

I wanted to ask him about the past two years and about that girl, Nikki. Was she his girlfriend? When did he start dating again?

But I wasn't courageous enough to ask him.

He finally broke the silence.

"James never told me you were coming to London."

"I never thought you and James would be friends again... Umm... you know, after that Riley incident."

"I forgave him and Riley before I came here. I had to do it in order to move on. Even though he and I are friends again, we aren't like we were before."

"Did you love Riley?"

I had to ask.

He was silent again. I shouldn't have asked that.

I heard him suck in a deep breath.

"Love is a strong word. I started dating her because I was just tired of sleeping around. I never had feelings for her at the start of our relationship, but as the days passed, I started liking her. We never had s*x. We just used to make out and stuff. I don't know, but I had a feeling that she wasn't fully interested in me. When I heard about her and James, I was hurt. Not because she was my girlfriend at the time. I was hurt because it was James who slept with her. I don't think I can trust anyone again the way I trusted James."

"You know you can trust me, Xander. I know we were never close before, but I'm here if you want to talk about anything. I guarantee you I'm never going to break your trust. I mean, if your girlfriend doesn't mind."

I didn't know what had come over me to say that, but I wanted him to know he wasn't alone.

"Thanks, El, but I'm good. I'll be fine."

"Stop trying to be a punk, alright? Everyone needs someone. You're too proud to ask for help."

I raised my voice.

"I think we should go to sleep. I'm tired," he said.

I didn't say anything else. I just turned around, facing the wall, and closed my eyes.

He always does this. He closes himself off from everyone.

"By the way, El, Nikki's not my girlfriend. I haven't dated anyone since Riley," he said a few seconds later.

I was too tired to reply, but I was happy to hear that.

I didn't know why.

I slowly drifted off to sleep with a smile on my lips.