Nightmares

Confusion

I was staring at her picture on my computer when she appeared in my office, like she belonged there, the thought of her there made my heart race her presence made it worse, I tried to ignore her, I tried to pretend she wasn't there. She was scared of me I could feel it but she was also curious; I don't think she realized that I could see her until she walked forward and I looked up at her.

I was expecting her to pull the blade out and kill me right there on the spot. But she didn't, she just stood there so naturally, I stood quickly, she fell back, of course I would catch her. I loved her; I've loved her for so long. She touched my face how I've longed for her touch; I feel my body grow less tense. I can see our past in her eyes, the fun we had, the love we shared. Shes intrigued by the way I'm holding her and she wants to know more, she wants to know if we will share another love affair. I want to throw her on the desk and make her mine, I know she wants the same. But I can't I have a mission and I can't fail this time.I cant let her win, i cant fail my brothers again this time.

When she asked me if I wanted her dead, I couldn't answer, I knew my job in this life; I knew I had to complete my assignment and I knew she was there to stop me she was born to stop me. How could the fates be so mean to make our souls one? One would always have to kill the other no matter what. Who was the grand puppeteer in this thing we called life? And why would he make us suffer so much? What did we ever do to him? We did nothing but fall in love, it wasn't fair, these humans had free rein on emotions, they could do whatever pleased them, kill, r**e pillage, love and we couldn't, we weren't allowed.

We were segregated and told who we could be with and who we could be without. We had to breed with the strongest to ensure the strongest heir. We had to protect the species and make the best of the best and that meant only the best would be with her, I couldn't take it and clearly our father thought I wasn't the best, someone else was. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that we weren't what was best for each other and neither could she. We wanted each other more than any other soul in the world but yet we weren't allowed to have each other. Instead she was faced with a life where she would be sad and unhappy and I the same.

Our hearts were one, she knew it, I knew it. I wanted no one but her and she felt the same.

I didn't know how to answer her, I didn't know how to talk to her or what to say. Would she even understand, the hurt in her eyes was evident as they flashed a violet color before she ran; whenever she was hurt her spirit would grow stronger making her violet eyes shine. I could do nothing but sit there in my office crushed that I caused her pain. There's no way I could kill her there's no way I would be the one to take her life. I would have to hope my brothers would defeat her for once, I would rather live in the ignorance of her death that having to do it myself. I had failed yet again and i knew it before it even started, coming here with my memories this time was not easier. It was harder because i knew of the past we shared. In each and every life that she killed me I did not get angrier like the grand master had thought i just grew to love the blasted woman more.

I had to ask myself if I would come back to this life again knowing that she would be here, knowing that again we would be at odds. I could never say no, I live every life knowing I would feel her in my arms once more and loving it every time no matter if I died. I wanted to feel her in my embrace, I wanted to hold her and never let go. She was my world, my love, always and forever.

My brother was on the war path, he seen her earlier and almost had her but she got the better of him once again and disappeared. He said she was starting to remember little bits of their life, our life. He also said it was even hard for him this time around, he felt closer to her this time than he ever had in any form.

She was sleeping again, at the very hospital he was at, he would be hunting her, I imagine somewhere right now he was fighting her; I've never been so torn on who I wanted to win. I closed my eyes and pictured my brother, my body sifted to the beach where he and my love were at arms, my heart racing as I watched from behind a large boulder.

She ducked and rolled from his first attack smart girl; I smile. He swings again, he misses. She's pissed she's charging him screaming like the little warrior she is, gone smoke and soul gone.

She must have woken up; my brother stomps off the beach and sifts away. I can't help but feel relieved. "Ahhh what is wrong with me!" I sift home.

Staring out over the place that is Boston, the view from my home is spectacular, I can see the whole city from this height. At night the houses glow like little stars in the streets, it will be a shame when the world crumbles.