Blade in the Snow

Chapter 11: The Rouge Top Scholar

Ordinarily, when Xu Fengnian grew bored after indulging in flowers and willows outside for a while, he would visit the Tide-Listening Pavilion every half ten-day period to seek knowledge from his master, Li Yishan, or search the second floor for one or two secret manuals of the Tantric Joyous Gate to study alone in his room. However, since the White Fox Face took up residence, Xu Fengnian had not disturbed her seclusion.

The entire Royal Palace was decorated with lanterns and festoons, radiating celebration and brilliance. Merely large red lanterns numbered no less than six hundred.

Thus, Xu Fengnian always felt indignant on behalf of those assassins. Even if their lightness skill was superb enough to sneak into the palace, finding Xu Xiao was truly difficult. With nine bends and eighteen turns, a hero with little patience would likely cannot help but jump up and curse.

During the first lunar month, visitors bearing expensive gifts came in an endless stream. However, the number of nobles and magnates qualified to present gifts directly to the Great Pillar of State could be counted on one's fingers. More than half could not pass the gatekeeper Song Yu, and of the remainder, more than half were stopped by the Head Steward Shen Chun.

Those who remained were high officials or family friends at the level of Li Hanlin's and Yan Chiji's fathers. These old oilsticks always prepared double portions of gifts, clearly well-versed in the rules of the Beiliang Royal Palace: unless it concerned military or state affairs, the Heir apparent's word was the ultimate authority.

Xu Fengnian naturally accepted all comers, calling them "Uncle" and "Elder Brother" diligently, becoming increasingly proficient in worldly wisdom and human relations.

The Lantern Festival.

Xu Fengnian led a group of evil slaves and vicious dogs to Ke Jia Lane, famous in Lingzhou, to view the colorful lanterns. The Lantern Festival had always been a fine time to appreciate lanterns, the moon, and beauties.

After three years of wandering exile, Heir Xu had gained much insight. Not only had he mastered many vulgar slang terms from various prefectures, but he had also heard many profound sayings, such as "Where there are women, there is the martial world." He felt deeply that this was absolutely true.

For the sake of girls, the number of times Xu Fengnian had fought fiercely with others exceeded what could be counted on both hands and feet. Only by adding the contributions of brats like Li Hanlin and Kong the Martial Maniac did the count barely suffice. Over the years, the defeated victims who suffered misfortune could form several rows of troops.

The Red Sparrow Tower, which had produced a new flower-queen and whose prominence had recently subtly overshadowed the Purple Gold Tower, was located in Ke Jia Lane. Therefore, Xu Fengnian brought Yu Youwei along, saying he wanted to take her to smash the place.

Ke Jia Lane was extremely crowded. Those ruffians who specialized in taking advantage of such occasions to grope had gleaming eyes. Pinching hands, touching chests, slapping buttocks—their techniques were seasoned. Some, with greater skill and audacity, shouted while pushing, "Why the squeeze? Are you rushing to drag your whole family to reincarnation?" while pressing against the upturned buttocks of young ladies ahead. If lucky enough to encounter a lustful woman in heat, she might even cooperate by grinding back. Such were the myriad forms of life, bizarre and motley.

When Xu Fengnian was young, he and Li Hanlin had often engaged in such despicable tricks. However, back then, when the young ladies turned to look and saw a handsome and graceful youth, most did not hold it against them.

Wherever Xu Fengnian went, a path automatically cleared. No one had eaten the heart of a bear or the gall of a leopard to dare take advantage of Flower-Queen Yu.

Xu Fengnian was not interested in guessing lantern riddles. Instead, a couple standing in front of him caught his interest.

The young man was dressed luxuriously in bright red paired with golden yellow, his sleeves bound with azure silver-threaded patterns. Around his waist hung a belt of mutton-fat jade. He wore no sword. The woman beside him had a graceful figure, her back view elegant, swaying with charm.

She spoke little; it was the man doing all the talking: "Sister Fan, women are made of flesh and water, while other men are made of mud and flesh. Thus, when I see women, I feel refreshed; when I see men, I find their stench overwhelming! Sister Fan, when will you agree to let me taste the rouge on your lips?"

Upon hearing this, Xu Fengnian became furious. Donkey grass coffin ghost! Without a second word, he quickened his pace and kicked the young master in the buttocks. The fellow, physically weak, immediately fell forward onto the ground.

Xu Fengnian followed up with a fierce stomping. Before the young master could cry out, Xu Fengnian stepped on his mouth. His extremely delicate face was instantly smeared with blood mixed with dust. Xu Fengnian continued his footwork, chuckling: "Didn't you say flesh made of mud was filthy? Aren't you also made of mud? Why don't you go hang yourself? And damn it, eating women's rouge? How about eating s**t instead?!"

The evil slaves, who feared nothing so much as order, cheered loudly, praising the Heir apparent as more fierce and lively than the number one expert under heaven.

The "Sister Fan" in the handsome young master's mouth panicked, widening her expressive autumn-water eyes, clutching her chest, looking pitiful and fragile.

Tired of stomping, Xu Fengnian naturally proceeded to unleash the dogs and evil slaves. He ordered: "Throw this fellow into the cesspool."

Two evil slaves, accustomed to dirty deeds, grinned sinisterly, walked over, grabbed one leg each, and dragged the previously elegant and refined young master out of Ke Jia Lane.

Sister Fan, tears crystalline in her eyes, trembled in fear and said: "Brother Lin was last year's Top Scholar in the imperial examinations."

Top Scholar?

Xu Fengnian turned to face the young lady, who looked sickly like a secluded orchid. The difference in treatment was like clouds and mud. Smiling gently, he said: "Sister Fan, only a Number One Scholar would be good. Otherwise, he truly does not deserve my famous 'Deadly Continuous Eighteen Kicks' that shakes the martial world."

The girl seemed terrified, clutching her chest and breathing heavily, her face pale.

Xu Fengnian had intended to ask where the young lady was from, but seeing her state, he decided not to frighten a good girl further. He merely advised kindly: "Sister Fan, after Scholar Lin crawls out of the cesspool, tell him not to eat rouge anymore. Be careful lest Great Young Master Li Hanlin of Fengzhou mistakes him for a 'rabbit boy' raised to lift his hips in flattery." Then, with Yu Youwei looking both amused and helpless, and his evil servants beaming with pride, he strode away.

...

Upon hearing that the Heir apparent was arriving, the Red Sparrow Tower trembled like mice seeing a cat. Xu Fengnian did not enter the building. He simply had an evil slave take out official sealing strips prepared in advance and run over to paste them on the vermilion-lacquered main doors.

The madam of the Red Sparrow Tower, known as Lingzhou's number one "Tooth Woman" (brothel keeper), mourned as if her parents had died. Walking up to Xu Fengnian, wiping tears, she asked cautiously: "Heir apparent, what is the reason for this? If the Red Sparrow has failed to serve you properly, Your Highness may kick me a few times. Please wait a moment; the Red Sparrow will immediately have several flower-queens attend to Your Highness."

Xu Fengnian stiffened his face and sneered: "I have heard that three years ago, merely tens of li after I left Lingzhou, the Red Sparrow Tower celebrated wildly until dawn. It is said the entire South Huai River smelled fragrant. Did you drink a hundred jars of fine wine? Did you earn one hundred thousand taels of silver?"

The old Tooth Woman, looking grief-stricken, explained: "Your Highness sees clearly. The Red Sparrow is but a small business; how would we dare refuse guests?"

Xu Fengnian was amused. Speaking earnestly, he said: "You have your difficulties; this Heir understands. But rules are rules. Rest assured, you are not the only one in trouble. Those who drank and sought pleasure here three years ago will be dealt with one by one. If the Red Sparrow wishes to reopen, first expel Liu Que'er, who mocked Yu Youwei, from Lingzhou. Then wait a year or half a year. When this Heir's anger subsides, you may resume business."

The Tooth Woman, who had learned the profitable method of raising "thin horses" (trained courtesans) from the Jiangnan Circuit and was rolling in wealth, tried to beg further. However, the Heir impatiently turned and left. He only turned his head to smile at the striking Flower-Queen Yu beside him: "Does this vent your anger?"

Flower-Queen Yu, following the example of her predecessor Li Yuanyuan, had retired from the brothel at the peak of her beauty. Her oval face slightly plumper, she held Wu Meiniang, who had gained five or six jin in just one winter. She said nothing.

On the way to view lanterns at Lion Bridge by the South Huai River, the unlearned Heir quietly asked: "Youwei, just now I wanted to use the idiom 'removing hats to celebrate' to describe the actions of those bastards at the Red Sparrow Tower. Was that appropriate?"

A subtle scenery like green ants on newly brewed wine surfaced in Yu Youwei's eyes, but her tone remained very calm: "Inappropriate."

Xu Fengnian said smugly: "Fortunately."

Lingzhou's Thirteen-Arch Lion Bridge was almost synonymous with Ke Jia Lane.

This bridge had three wonders. First, although named Lion Bridge, the railings and pillars were carved with a hundred beasts and a thousand birds, yet lions were conspicuously absent. Second, the bridge body was made of white marble, so people always carried hammers and mallets, hoping to chip off some jade pieces or powder to sell for money. Consequently, Lion Bridge always had semi-official sturdy guards stationed at both ends. Third, there was a legend of a strange tale where an immortal ascended to heaven riding a dragon from this bridge.

Seeing that Yu Youwei looked tired holding Wu Meiniang, Xu Fengnian took the cat and held it in his arms. The plump and exceptionally likable white cat was unwilling to act spoiled toward this master of its master, its cold expression identical to Yu Youwei's.

Xu Fengnian, holding a stick of candied hawthorn, did not mind. He took a bite and suddenly asked: "What if that young master who loves eating rouge cannot swim? Covered in excrement and urine, how will he get home after leaving the cesspool?"

Yu Youwei did not wish to answer this question, especially since she was holding a sugar-syrup carved phoenix sweet in her hand.

Xu Fengnian's mind wandered.

Whether that young master could swim was actually irrelevant, because he stood inside a latrine, refusing to climb out even if beaten to death. He did not want his fairy-like Sister Fan to see a Scholar Lin covered in feces.

Sister Fan stood nearby, clutching her chest and frowning, speaking softly to persuade him. It was not until the Lantern Festival ended that she finally convinced Scholar Lin to crawl out of the latrine. As for how he returned home, that was another story of bitterness and hardship that the Top Scholar would surely find hard to forget for the rest of his life.

This undeserved disaster delayed Young Master Lin, who had originally planned to visit elder family friends the next day, by nearly half a ten-day period.

By the time he finally summoned the courage to go out and meet people, he learned that the relative-by-marriage, though distantly related, who held a first-class imperial office had already left the city to inspect the border. Thus, the Top Scholar simply took Sister Fan to Wudang Mountain to relax.