My Running Nightmare

Chapter 2

    A month later, Jesse had gotten a fake ID for her. He had sold his car and they had taken a bus to another state. He had tied her up everytime he left and duct taped her mouth. He wouldn't stay gone long but she had tried everything to get out of the ropes each time. He hadn't beat on her like he did the first time. 

    He would come for her and she would struggle but all he would do was slap her around or choke her almost to the point of passing out. She tried to refuse to eat but he made her. When she had missed her period, she thought it was due to the stress. Now, she was worried it was because of something else. 

    She bit her lip as she thought about the possibility of being pregnant. Had this monster gotten her pregnant? She looked over where he was sitting on the couch in the small cabin he had rented. She had learned not to speak because that turned his attention to her and she didn't like it when he was looking at her. He came for her then.

    But she had to know the truth. It was going to gnaw away at her if she didn't. What was she going to do if she was pregnant? And what if she was pregnant by Kevin? They hadn't used protection when they were together. If it belonged to Kevin then there was a possibility of Jesse hurting the baby. But could she keep the baby if it belonged to the monster? Would he allow her to keep it? Or would he beat her so badly that she lost it? She finally cleared her throat to get his attention. She cringed when he looked at her.

    "What?" he asked.

    "I, um, I missed my period," Renee said.

    "So? What do you want me to do about it?"

    "I'm usually pretty regular. I, I need a pre-pregnancy test," Renee stammered.

    Jesse looked at her for a few minutes and then stood up. He walked over to her and she shrank back, pushing her back into the chair as far as she could. He leaned down and untied the ropes. He stood her up and turned her towards the door.

    "I'll take you to get one. While we're there, get some hair dye. If I have to take you out, then you have to look different at least."

    Renee tried to relax but she couldn't. He had a death grip on her arm as he led her out of the cabin and to the car he had recently bought. She seriously thought about screaming her lungs out but what good would that do? They were in a remote location. So, instead, she allowed him to put her in the car.

    Once they were at the store, Jesse wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his side so they just looked like a regular couple. She tensed up when she felt a blade running along his hand and down his arm, pressing into her stomach. If she was pregnant and he stabbed her, the baby wouldn't survive. 

    "Remember, nothing stupid. Maybe if you act right, I'll take you out again sometime," Jesse said.

    Renee could care less if he took her back out. She hated him and hated him touching her. They walked over to the hair products and he picked up some black hair dye. He was going to try to cover up her red hair. Her skin was too pale to pull off black hair. Everyone would know it wasn’t real. But, that didn’t matter to him. He didn’t care about her. He was only keeping her because he was a sick, sadistic bastard. 

    After Jesse had the hair dye he wanted, he moved them along until he found the aisle with the pregnancy tests. He picked one up and then picked up another brand. He handed them to her and they walked to the counter. They set the stuff down and Jesse got his wallet out and paid for everything. She picked up the bag and they walked out. He opened the door for her and she got in. 

    He tucked the knife by his side and got into the car. They drove back to the cabin in silence. He opened her door and yanked her out of the car. He drug her back into the cabin and to the bathroom. She still had the bag in her hand. He took it and took the pregnancy tests out. He handed them to her and she just looked at him. Was he actually expecting her to pee on them right in front of him?

    “What are you waiting for?” Jesse asked.

    “For one, I don’t have to pee right now. For another, there is no way I’m peeing on those things with you standing here. If you truly intend to keep me hostage, you are going to have to slack up on this watch everything I do crap. If I am truly pregnant, I’m not going to do anything to harm my baby. You have kept me tied up for over a month. I can only be untied when I have to go to the bathroom or you allow me to eat or drink something. My wrists and ankles are raw and hurting. I need some relief. I can’t even sleep because you have me tied to the bed so I can’t move. I’m too tired to even try to run. Either kill me or give me some type of space.”

    “Who the hell do you think you’re talking to? You don’t get to make demands. You do what I say.”

    “Whatever. I’m beyond caring what you think or say. You have beaten and r***d me every day, several times a day. My life isn’t worth a damn anyway so maybe if I piss you off enough, you’ll just go ahead and kill me,” Renee said and leaned against the sink. 

    “No, I’m not going to kill you. Keeping you is a lot more fun. You’re feisty and I love it. Killing Kevin would control you better. If you are pregnant, I won’t put my hands on you anymore, but you will have to get with the program on the s*x. I’ll leave you untied as long as you don’t try anything. I want my baby to be healthy.”

    “So, let me get this straight. Apparently, my attitude problem is a turn on for you. And you won’t beat me but you expect me to willingly have s*x with you? You really are crazy. I’m not going to willingly give my body to you. I’m not turned on by you. I hate you. I hate when you touch me. It makes me cringe. I feel like I’m dying inside every time you r**e me. I’ll never willingly give myself to you. As for being untied, I already told you I won’t do anything to harm my baby. It disgusts me to think you got me pregnant but it’s still my baby.”

    Jesse pressed against her and she tried to get away from him, but he put his arms on either side of her so his face was right in front of hers. Her body tensed as she waited for the blows to come. It was a natural reaction for her now. He just continued to look at her and she shivered a little as his expression was dark and brooding. She couldn’t do anything but look at his face and she realized he was actually a good looking guy. If he hadn’t been a r****t, she probably would have found him attractive. 

    “Keep running your mouth and I’m going to put it to good use. I don’t care if you like me or not. I’m still going to do what I want with you and you can either learn to enjoy it or continue to squirm. It makes no difference to me. I’m on the run for life so why not have a s*x slave, too? Eventually, I’m going to have to get a job. So, you’ll have to be by yourself. If you don’t want to stay tied up while I’m gone, then you’ll get with the program, because believe me when I say if I get any hint of trouble that the first stop I’m making is to kill your precious Kevin. I’ll leave you alive so you can see his mutilated body,” Jesse sneered. 

    Renee felt a shiver go down her spine as a picture sprang to mind that made tears well in her eyes. She knew he meant what he said, but there was no way she could possibly give herself over willingly. She felt dead inside. The last part of her had just died. He had told her that she was his s*x slave, so he was never going to let her leave. He may have killed her before if she pushed hard enough but thinking she was pregnant just ended that. 

    “I need to go to the bathroom now. Can you please leave the bathroom?” Renee asked politely.

    “Since you asked so nicely, I’ll wait outside,” Jesse said and kissed her, crushing her lips under his.

    She didn’t kiss him back but she didn’t fight him either. When she felt his tongue running across her lower lip, she opened her mouth so he could stick his tongue inside. She closed her eyes and imagined Kevin. Jesse was about Kevin’s height, maybe an inch or two shorter. She imagined Kevin’s body pressing against hers while he kissed her passionately. If she could at least let her imagination run away with her, then maybe she could forget that this horrible man was touching her.

    When Jesse finally stepped back from her, she opened her eyes. She found him smirking at her before he left the bathroom. She frowned. He didn’t think she had actually enjoyed that kiss, did he? She took the pregnancy tests out of the bag and took them out of the boxes. Once she had used them, she laid them on the counter. She leaned against the counter, not even wanting to look at the tests. She was trying to figure out what had just happened between her and Jesse.

    When he knocked on the door, she called out, “I’m done.”

    It shocked her that he had actually knocked. Jesse came in and looked at her for a second and then walked over to the tests. He looked at both of them and then at her. She showed him the boxes and how to read the tests. Truthfully, she didn’t want to know, but the look on his face told it all. He was grinning from ear to ear.

    “Well, I will be damned. I’m going to be a daddy.”

    Renee burst into tears. She didn’t want to be pregnant with this monsters baby. She was dead inside. Jesse surprised her when he wiped her tears away. She initially jerked when she felt his hand on her face, thinking he was about to hit her. 

    “Hey, I told you, no more hitting. Stop crying. A baby is a blessing.”

    “Not when it belongs to a monster. I’ll be damned if my child is going to grow up to be a r****t, abuser, or all around asshole,” Renee yelled.

    She stormed past him, but he grabbed her and yanked her back against him. She was angry and scared all at the same time. Her whole body was shaking with it. Jesse squeezed her hard when she started trying to get away.

    “Do you want to be tied back up? If so, keep this up. If not, calm your ass down. I like your fire, but I’m only going to tolerate so much disrespect before I get nasty,” Jesse whispered in her ear.

    “I don’t care. I’m a human being and I have a right to be angry and hurt by someone who is constantly hurting me physically and mentally. You are going to be the person you already are no matter what I do. Don’t like it? Don’t dish it out!” Renee yelled while still squirming to get away.

    Jesse walked out to the bedroom with a struggling Renee still in his arms. He threw her on the bed and she tried to get away but he grabbed her ankles. He laid on top of her and she began to cry again, knowing what was coming. He took her off guard by just laying there, restraining her. When she finally grew tired of trying to get away, Jesse moved and pulled her on to her side against him. 

    “Now, we can make this work if you just get with the program. Stop fighting me. I’m the bad guy, I know. But, you are having my baby. That changes things. I may be a bad guy who has done some truly f****d up s**t to you, but I will never treat my kid like my father treated me and my brother. The man did us just like I’ve done you.”

    “Then, you would think you wouldn’t want to do that to someone else,” Renee whispered, feeling exhausted.

    “It’s what made me the bastard I am today. Your boyfriend did the rest by killing my brother.”

    “That doesn’t have anything to do with me. You brought me into this situation to hurt Kevin. All you’re doing is hurting me,” Renee cried.

    “Then don’t make me hurt you anymore. I like your fire like I said before. It’s a turn on truth be told, but my temper won’t tolerate it too much depending on what you say. I’ll raise the baby with you and I will treat you good if you just stop fighting.”

    Renee knew that no matter what, she had to protect her baby. What if it wasn’t his? Would he kill her if it wasn’t? She had no money, no car, no phone, no way to run without him being able to catch up to her. He was a light sleeper and woke up every time she moved. She started to cry again but this time, Jesse held her until she fell asleep.

    When she woke up, she was not tied to the bed like she usually was. She rolled over and found Jesse was sitting in the chair in the room. He was watching her. She sighed and rolled back over, trying to act like she was still asleep. Unfortunately, he had seen her look at him. He stood up and grabbed her arm. He pulled her up and off the bed. She was too tired to fight. He took her into the kitchen and sat her on a chair. He then proceeded to put the hair dye in her hair. She just sat there and let him.

    “It’s unfortunate that I have to cover your real color. It is pretty to look at with the gold tones in it. But, we can’t be too careful if you have to go out. We have already been here a week. Time to get going again.”

    “Jesse, we can’t keep running. It’s not going to be healthy for the baby. I need to start seeing a doctor to get prenatal care. And when the baby is born, it will need regular checkups, too.”

    “We have some time. We’ll just start staying in hotels for a night or two until we get far enough away. I’m thinking Canada. I know someone there that can get us fake citizenship.”

    “You are truly planning on keeping me hostage, aren’t you?”

    “You are going to have my baby. I can always take the baby and run, but until you have it, you stay.”

    “I’m not letting you take my baby from me,” Renee snapped.

    “Then, I guess you are no longer my hostage, but are willingly staying,” Jesse smirked. 

    Renee was taken aback by his suggestion that she would willingly stay with him, but when looking at it that way, she supposed she was willingly staying with him. There was no way she would let him kidnap her baby and take off with it. Was he planning on taking the baby and ditching her? She had to know.

    “What are you going to do after the baby is born?” 

    “What do you mean?” Jesse asked.

    “Are you going to kill me, ditch me, what?”

    “I’m not going to kill you. I told you and that boyfriend of yours, I’m keeping you. You belong to me now. Plus, a baby needs it’s mother. We will raise the baby together, in Canada. Eventually, you will become complacent and we can have a nice, normal routine,” Jesse said as he finished putting the hair dye in.

    After it had set long enough, Jesse took her over to the sink and began to pour water over her head to get all of the dye out. Once it was done, he shampooed and conditioned it. Renee hated to admit to herself that it felt good to have him wash her hair. After the month and a half he’d beat on and r***d her, to have some sort of feeling besides hate was surprising to her. Jesse dried her hair and then took and brushed it.

    Renee tried to take the brush from him and do it herself but he held it to where she couldn’t. She closed her eyes and imagined Kevin brushing her hair. He used to do it every night. By the time Jesse was finished, she felt very relaxed. Jesse had been surprised that she had sat and let him fool with her hair. She had even made a few little noises of pleasure. 

    He had peeked around to look at her face and saw her eyes were closed. He smiled as she made those little noises. Now he knew how to get to her. He had tried to break her at first, but the more she fought him, the more he liked her. He had never r***d a woman before. He had beat the hell out of men and even killed one, but he had never laid his hands on a woman before. He had watched his father beat the hell out of his mother every day until he had killed her. 

    Jesse had sworn to himself that he would never be like his father, but here he was, just like him. So, now that she was pregnant, he was going to show her who he really was. He no longer had to threaten her to keep her. She had the baby that she didn’t want to lose. If she thought he was going to take the baby from her, then she would behave. His hands wandered through her hair and down her back. He felt her body tense as his hand came around to her stomach.

    “Relax. You were just enjoying what I was doing. Just stay with that thought,” Jesse whispered in her ear.

    Renee knew what was coming as soon as he started touching her. Him telling her to relax wasn’t helping the situation. She tried to release the tension in her body, but she couldn’t. The more he touched her, the more tense she got. He had taken her off guard by being kind instead of rough when he had dyed her hair. He had even been sweet in brushing her hair. Normally, when he forced himself on her, he didn’t really touch her first. He would just take what he wanted. And when she struggled, he got really rough with it. 

    Now, it was almost like he was acting like a lover would with the person they actually wanted to be with. Had her being pregnant changed him that much? Was it because he had something else to threaten her with now so he could do whatever he wanted now? She knew he didn’t actually want her. She was just a way to torture Kevin. She would play along for now and see how far she could push it without retaliation. Maybe if she actually played along, he would allow her some more freedom and she could actually escape. But, where would she go? He never left his car keys out where she could get them. She didn’t have any money to go anywhere or even a phone to call from. 

    Would anyone believe her about him k********g her if she had no way to prove it? How could she tell them he had physically abused her or r***d her with no evidence? By the time she had gotten him to trust her, there would be no evidence of that. He had already told her that he had run from the police once and was very capable of hiding and getting away with murder. With the fact that he knew someone who could get him fake id’s and citizenship, there was no way to catch him that she could see. So, if she got away, how long would it be before he caught up to her?

    And what would he do to her and the baby? Or Kevin for that matter? It wouldn’t matter if she never saw Kevin again, Jesse would kill him, and not in a quick manner either. If he had waited years to plot out this type of revenge on Kevin, what would he do if she managed to get away? She shivered as images flashed through her mind. 

    Jesse stood her up and sat on the chair she was in. He pulled her into his lap and kissed her. Renee tried her best to play along but she just couldn’t find it in her to kiss him back. She did allow him to run his hands up her back under her shirt without struggling. It was taking everything in her not to struggle. He broke the kiss and took her shirt off and unhooked her bra. He took it off and threw it in the direction of her shirt.

    Renee hissed when his hands ran over some of the places that were still bruised and tender. She saw him frown as he lightly ran his fingers over them. He had told her that his father had made him the way he was and that his father had beat him and his brother. Was he feeling bad about beating on her now? He sure hadn’t felt bad about it while he was doing it.

    He stood her up and took her pants and panties off. He looked over her body at all the damage he had done. He lightly touched all of the bruises and then placed featherlight kisses on them. He stood up and undressed and waited for her to look at him. She kept her eyes down so all she could see was his feet.

    “Look at me. I want you to actually see me.”

    Renee felt her face get hot as she slowly looked up, her eyes seeing all of him. He had a great body. There were several tattoos on his arms and chest. He even had a big one going up his side. You could tell he worked out. When she got to his face, she noticed he had red, full lips. They were definitely kissable lips. His nose was a little crooked like it had been broken before and not healed right. His gray-blue eyes were actually beautiful. His jet black hair was hanging right below his ears, just this side of shaggy. 

    “Do you think I’m ugly? Or do you like what you see?” Jesse asked.

    “It doesn’t matter what you look like. A person’s personality is what has always mattered to me. And your personality is not a good one. If you think that telling me to go along to get along will work, you’re wrong. I don’t love you. I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. I want my life back!” Renee cried. 

“This is your life now,” Jesse said as he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. 

    His touch was no longer gentle. He took what he wanted while Renee cried silently. She had made the mistake of telling him that she didn’t want him and never would. He had basically reached out to her like a kid would, asking for approval. She had shattered that and was now being punished. She didn’t fight him so it would be over sooner. He didn’t put his hands on her so at least she wouldn’t be hurting all over this time. Once he was finished, he got up and left the room. Renee curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep.