My Running Nightmare

Chapter 4

    Renee had went shopping with Jesse. He took her hand as she got out of the car. He held her hand through the store like they were an actual couple. She picked out a few items and tried them on. Jesse had her come out and show him everything she tried on. He picked out the ones he liked and paid for them. 

    When they went back to the house, he dropped her off and left. She sighed and sat on the bed, looking at the clothes. At least he hadn’t come in and tried to sleep with her. She put her things in the dresser and went into the kitchen. She noticed the back door was ajar. She walked over to it and pushed it open. The backyard was actually pretty big. 

    This had to be a test. Jesse had done this on purpose to see if she would try and escape. But, the urge to just sit in the sunlight was to great to resist. She had been cooped up in the house for months except for today. She walked out onto the back porch and sat down, just enjoying the sun. She had been right about it being a test. 

    Jesse had moved the car and walked back to the house. He was in the woods, watching, waiting to see what she would do. He watched her as she sat on the porch and turned her face up to the sun. She really was a pretty woman. When she didn’t think he was watching, she would let her guard down and let her feelings out. 

    He watched her as she stood up and walked around the yard. There were flower beds that were dying as he hadn’t taken care of them. He could care less about flowers, but she seemed to take an interest in them. She got on her knees and started pulling weeds. He watched her a little bit longer before he walked back to his car. Just because she hadn’t tried to run this time didn’t mean much. She might have been suspicious of the open door. She had covered up what had happened at the doctors office.

    He’d give her a little freedom and see what she did with it. Maybe he could get her a burner phone that only     allowed her to call him and 911. That way if something did happen, she could get help. He hadn’t thought about something happening while he was gone. Perhaps his threat had worked. He pulled into the driveway and went into the house. She hadn’t come back inside. Maybe she hadn’t heard the car. He walked out the back door and saw her sit back and wipe the sweat from her face. When she looked up, he saw fear on her face. She quickly pushed herself up off the ground.

    “You didn’t try to run,” Jesse said as he walked over to her.

    “N-no,” she stuttered, wringing her hands.

    “It’s alright. I left the door unlocked on purpose, but I’m sure you already figured that out. You like flowers?”

    “Yes. I’ve never been good at keeping a garden, but it gave me something to do other than being cooped up inside,” Renee said as she walked up to the house.

    Jesse reached out to pull her to him and she flinched. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. She never kissed him back, but she had let him kiss her whenever he wanted. He didn’t want her to flinch or pull back when he touched her. If he could break her of that habit, perhaps he could take her out a little bit more. Maybe over time, she would respond to his touch. He had noticed that the only time she responded to him trying anything with her, her eyes were closed. Maybe she was imagining someone else or she just couldn’t look at him because of what he had done before. But, he wanted to keep her around for himself now, instead of only keeping her because of Kevin.

    She still pushed her limits sometimes with the things she said, but he couldn’t deny he liked it. She was just being herself in a situation she hated. He didn’t really like docile women anyway. When he broke the kiss, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and walked her back inside. Maybe he could buy some flowers for her and she could do something with the flower beds. It might even score him some brownie points with her. Couldn’t hurt.

    A few months went by and Renee had been able to go outside more when Jesse was home. A couple of times, he had left the back door unlocked and she had went out and tended the flowers. Sometimes, he would bring flowers home for her to plant. The flower beds were weeded and watered. She would sit outside sometimes and just enjoy the smell of them. Jesse had bought a couple of chairs to sit outside. He sat out there with her often. Renee never really felt comfortable but she was starting to get into a daily routine. When she had a doctors appointment, he would drive her to it, and go in with her. 

    The doctor had given her pictures of the baby. Jesse had taken her with him to the store after one of these appointments and she had looked at some of the baby items. She found a baby book that she really liked but she put it back. She had also picked up a little frame for baby’s first picture. There were so many things she would have normally bought for the baby and to make memories with, but she had no way of doing that now. She sighed and started to walk away. 

    “Is there something you want?” Jesse asked.

    Renee stopped and asked, “Does it matter? It’s not like I have a way of getting anything.”

    “Maybe you should just ask. I’m sure we can work something out.”

    “By working something out, do you mean me sleep with you for it? I’d rather get a job and earn my own money.”

    “You can’t work while being pregnant anyway. But, you can do other things for the money. It doesn’t always have to be sex.”

    “I already clean the house and cook. It’s not like I have anything else to do all day. I tend to the flowers. What else is there?”

    “Sometimes a person likes a good old fashion back rub or foot rub. Maybe you could draw me a bath,” Jesse grinned.

    “A back rub? And what would that earn me?”

    Jesse shrugged and said, “Depends on how long you did it.”

    Renee shook her head and walked away. She would like a back rub and foot rub, too, but there was no way in hell she was asking him for one. Her feet were swollen and her back hurt from the pregnancy. Her belly was big now. It wouldn’t be too much longer and the baby would be here. What happened if the baby needed something? Would she have to barter for that, too? 

    “You don’t seem to interested.”

    “I’m not. I shouldn’t have to barter for anything,” Renee snapped as she turned towards him.

    She moved close to his ear and whispered, “You kidn*pped me. You r***d me and got me pregnant and now you want me to either screw you or do something else for you for me to be able to get anything at all. Who in their right mind would do that?”

    Renee started to walk off but Jesse grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. He had a look on his face that used to scare her, but now she was just bored. He wasn’t going to hit her while she was pregnant and they both knew it so that threat was out the window. She doubted he would do much of anything out of the way while she was pregnant. She still had a couple of months of freedom on that end. So, she was pushing her luck sometimes. 

    “That mouth of yours is going to get you into trouble one of these days. You won’t be pregnant forever and when you aren’t anymore, all of these times will be remembered,” Jesse whispered, threateningly.

    “Yeah, I figured as much, but I just don’t care anymore. You’re going to do whatever you want whether I like it or not. I’m not running away because I believe you will do what you said you would, but other than that, I don’t have to care what else you do. You’re going to hurt me, so what? You were going to do that anyway. The doctor already said if you keep going with it that I won’t be able to enjoy s*x. Hell, I’m just hoping it makes me numb to it all together so I can’t feel anything at all. No pain or pleasure. So, go ahead and keep going with it. It makes no difference to me, because frankly, I’m tired of the threat of it.”

    “Have you ever heard the expression that you catch more bees with honey than vinegar? The vinegar you put out sure isn’t anything I want. You keep saying you want me to be more compliant, but you give me absolutely no reason to be. And to be honest, I never will be. I am who I am and no matter how much you try, you won’t beat it out of me,” Renee snarled as she jerked her arm away from him.

    Jesse was taken by surprise by her little outburst. It was like she was taunting him, but he knew that she wasn’t. She was just being who she was as she had stated. And she had just basically told him to f**k off, that she didn’t care anymore. She didn’t want to feel. He wanted to say he had broken her, but he knew he hadn’t completely broken her because she was still fighting him in some ways. He smiled as he grabbed her hand and laced his fingers through hers.

    “Alright. Let’s go baby shopping,” Jesse said as he chuckled at the shocked look on Renee’s face.

    He watched her as she tentatively picked out a few things for the baby. It was all clothes and diapers. Things the baby would need, not the things she wanted. He took her back over to the aisle she had originally been on and picked up the baby book and photo frame. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and saw her looking at the ground. He put them in the buggy and saw her look at it and then back down at the floor with a slight smile on her face. He liked the smile. It looked good on her.

    They went home and she took the baby book and the picture frame out. He watched her as she placed one of the photos in the frame and the other one in the baby book. She had a smile on her face as she lovingly put the frame on the nightstand beside the bed. She was a completely different person when it came to the baby. He found that he was a little bit jealous of the baby. He wanted her to treat him that way as well. 

    She had said something in the store that had attracted his attention. The old expression of attracting more bees with honey than vinegar. And that he gave her no reason to be compliant. If he continued to threaten her to keep her in line, she was more likely to lash out. If he was nice to her, then she would be nice to him. That was what he had gotten out of it. He had bought her the things she wanted and she had been nice on the way home. He had talked to her and she had actually talked back. They had a conversation which they hadn’t really had before. 

    He watched her as she picked up a pen and started writing in the baby book. No doubt filling it up with everything that had happened before. He watched as she flipped back to the beginning of the book and bit her lip. She was deep in thought as he walked over to look at what she was looking at. It was the first page where you put the baby’s name. He hadn’t even thought about naming the baby. He hated that the baby would have to take on the fake last name that they had. He wondered if she had any thoughts about what to name the baby. 

    “Do you know what you want to name the baby?” Jesse asked.

    Renee looked up, startled by his question. “Yes. I would like to name him Christian Alexander.”

    “Sounds good.”

    “Are you going to let me name him?” Renee asked, surprised.

    “Honestly, I hadn’t even thought about names. That name sounds like a good, strong one. You have to remember to put your other name on the birth certificate.”

    Jesse watched as her face fell. She closed the baby book and put it aside, no longer wanting to fill it out. She laid on the bed and placed her hand on her stomach, closing her eyes. He sighed and walked out of the room as he heard her begin to cry. One step forward, three steps back. She’d come around eventually. He’d bought her a phone that had his number programmed into it and blocked all others. He’d give it to her later tonight. Maybe that would cheer her up a little. 

    Renee walked out to the kitchen and began to fix dinner as Jesse would be back from work soon enough. She felt terrible. She’d been having Braxton Hicks for a few weeks. She was having an appointment once a week now. Jesse didn’t know she was now 39 weeks. He thought she was at 36 weeks. Today had been one of the worst days. The cramps had been so bad that she had barely been able to stand up. Every time she moved, she felt pain. 

    She started taking everything out and setting it on the table when she had a huge cramp shoot through her stomach and into her back. She gasped and grabbed the chair. It felt like she had peed on herself and she looked at the floor. There was a puddle on the floor. Had her water just broke? She was hurting and scared to move. The phone. She needed to get to the phone. She slowly moved around the table and to the counter where she had set the phone. She picked it up and dialed the number Jesse had programmed into it. 

    “Hello?” Jesse answered.

    “Water just broke,” Renee said, trying to control her breathing.

    “s**t. I’ll be there as quick as I can.”

    Renee hung up the phone, dropping it on to the table. She slowly tried to make her way into the living room. Another contraction hit her and she grabbed on to the wall to steady herself. She finally made it into the bedroom and grabbed the little bag that she had thrown together to take to the hospital. She sat on the bed and laid back against the pillows. The contractions were hitting harder and faster now. Jesse’s job was roughly twenty minutes away. She didn’t even know how far away the hospital was. Would she make it in time?

    Jesse came running into the bedroom and grabbed the bag off the bed. He then took her hand and she stood up. She cried out in pain as another contraction hit. She leaned against Jesse’s chest and he rubbed his hands up and down her back, slightly rubbing her back through the contraction. She tried to control her breathing through it.

    “Isn’t it too early for labor?” Jesse asked.

    “No. People go into premature labor all the time. I’m nine months. It’s not premature. We need to go. I don’t know how far the hospital is,” Renee said in between her breathing.

    “It’s at least thirty minutes away. How long have you been in labor?” Jesse asked as he started walking her out of the bedroom.

    “I don’t know. I’ve been feeling bad all day. The cramps have been hitting since nine am, I guess. They have been steadily getting worse until my water broke. I called you immediately after it happened.”

    “Damn, Renee. You have been in labor all day. You should have called me earlier. I’m going to have to fly down the road and hope I make it,” Jesse said as he slung the bag over his shoulder. 

    He bent down and put his arm behind her knees and picked her up in his arms. She cried out in pain as another contraction hit. She buried her face in his neck. Jesse reached out and opened the door and yanked it shut behind him. He didn’t even bother locking it. He ran out to the car and set her down. Once he had her in the car, he hooked her seat belt and ran around to his side. He got in and hooked his seat belt and hauled ass to the hospital. 

    He was going at least a hundred miles an hour and a cop got behind him. He cursed and pulled over. Once the cop got up to the window and saw Renee grabbing her stomach and crying in the passenger seat, he escorted them to the hospital. He called into dispatch to let them know that they were on the way. A nurse came out with a wheelchair and got Renee onto it. They stopped Jesse and made him fill out forms while they got Renee into the room. 

    Jesse was not happy about having to fill out the forms while Renee was in the room alone. He quickly filled them out and had the nurse take him into the room. Renee had already been put into a gown and prepped for delivery. The doctor was on the way into the room as he was being escorted in. There was a nurse sitting in front of Renee and telling her to push. Jesse walked over to her and she held out her hand to him.

    He was surprised but happy about her reaching out to him. He took her hand and smiled at her. He pushed her hair off her face and squeezed her hand as she squeezed his. The doctor took over the nurses place and told Renee to push one final time. Renee sat up and beared down. She fell back against the pillows and Jesse heard the baby cry. He looked down and saw the doctor had the baby in his hands. 

    The nurse took him and cleaned him up. Once they had done everything they needed to do, they brought him over and laid him on Renee’s chest. She burst into tears as she looked at Christian. He was beautiful. He had a head full of blonde hair and bright green eyes, just like Kevin’s. Renee prayed that Jesse wouldn’t connect the two since he had dark hair and gray-blue eyes. She had red-gold hair and gray eyes. 

    Jesse didn’t seem to notice. He had a huge grin on his face as he looked at Christian. Renee couldn’t help but notice how he looked like a completely different person than the one she had known for the past nine months. Although he had been nicer the past few months, she still hadn’t been able to get past the fact that he had abused her. But, here and now, he just looked like a brand new father beaming with pride over his son. 

    Jesse looked at Renee and was surprised when he found she was looking at him, too. There was a soft look on her face, one he had never seen before when she looked at him. It had been his hope that he could win her over if he was nicer to her but it hadn’t worked so far. Maybe now she was starting to see him in a different light? He would continue to treat her good and hopefully she would come around.

    He was going to be a good father, something his own had never been. He wanted Christian to know that he was loved and that he would never have to worry about anything. He wouldn’t hit Renee or do anything to her to make her leave. Since he had been nicer to her, she had come around a little bit more each day. Now that she had the baby, maybe it would be even more because he could show her what he was like as a father as well as a man in a relationship. 

    He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Thank you. You have made me very happy.”

    He kissed her lips and to his surprise, she kissed him back. It was just a soft kiss but he would take it. It was an improvement. He picked Christian up and held him in his arms. He touched his tiny little hand and was amazed at how small he was. He didn’t know you could possibly love another person like this. He was going to do all of the things with him that his own father had never done. 

    “You will always be loved and protected, little man. I’m going to make sure of it,” Jesse whispered to Christian.

    “Are you going to breastfeed or bottle feed?” a nurse asked Renee.

    “Breast feed,” Renee responded.

    “It is best to try to breast feed immediately after the baby is born,” the nurse responded. 

    “Okay,” Renee said. 

    The nurse helped Renee sit up. Jesse reluctantly handed Christian back to Renee. The nurse showed Renee how to hold Christian in several different positions to breastfeed. She showed her how to get him to latch on and what to do to get him to break from latching on. Jesse watched as Renee lowered the hospital gown to expose one of her breasts and put Christian up to it. 

    To his surprise, Christian did latch on and began to suck. He watched as Renee breastfed their baby. It was a truly amazing sight to see a mother not only give life to her baby but to also feed her baby. A woman was a truly amazing creature. His own mother hadn’t been much of a mother. She had never really done anything with them. So, to see Renee do what she was doing, was incredible to Jesse. 

    It hit Jesse that he liked Renee. He didn’t just want her for s*x. He liked her for the spunk, the fire she possessed, but he realized over the past few months that he had actually come to really like her. He actually wanted to be with her, not just keep her because he had kidn*pped her. He wanted to build an actual future with her. Jesse had never liked a woman enough to want to have a future with her. Was he falling in love with this woman? That thought terrified him.