Strength After Him

Chapter 4 - The First Cry

I got home, and just as I was about to enter my apartment, I found a letter in my mailbox.

“ Final Reminder.”

“Outstanding Balance: £164.72”

It read: “Despite previous notices, your electricity and water bill remains unpaid. Please settle this amount within 7 days to avoid service disruption,” I sighed. Yet another reminder. First, it was the rent last week. Now this one. Life just wouldn’t let me breathe. I can't call my parents, they would be worried about why I wasn't working yet to pay my bills. I sat on the small couch, holding the letter, staring at it like it would magically fix everything. “Who will assist me? I already have two months of unpaid rent.”

The next letter would be an eviction. I needed to act fast. I was running out of time, and out of options. I paced around my small living room, the floor creaking beneath my steps, heart pounding with every thought. Then, Ms. Maria came to mind. But I had just met her. I shouldn’t be bothering her with my problems... right?

“I can’t afford to lose this place,” I muttered, gripping my phone. Without overthinking, I sent Maria a message.

“Ms. Maria, I never wanted to bother you, but I really need assistance right now. I have been struggling to cover up my bills and rent for two months. I am not sure if I can get through this alone. Please help me the little way you can. Thank you.”

In five minutes, my phone beeped with her response.

“Okay. "I will see what I can do to help you.” I smiled without forcing it.

Throughout my pregnancy journey, she started bringing meals over, warm food that filled the apartment with comfort. Sometimes she even stayed the night, just to make sure I was okay. Honestly, it felt like I finally had someone. Like she was sent for me. She was truly an angel.

The next morning, I woke up to a tightening in my belly. It wasn’t intense, just irregular and a bit uncomfortable, enough to make me pause. As a first-time mom, I had no idea what to expect. I sat on the edge of my bed, holding my belly. Was this normal? Braxton Hicks, maybe? I wasn’t sure, but I decided to keep an eye on it. The pains became more frequent. I decided to visit my hospital for a check-up, to be sure what was going on in my body, but before that, I needed to call Ms. Maria.

I picked up my phone to call her, as the pain was getting intense. This time, the pain gripped me like a fist, tightening and refusing to let go. She answered quickly. I tried to steady my voice. I am not sure, I feel it is starting. Something about my body feels different. She could feel the pain in my voice.

“Don’t panic. "I am on my way,” she said calmly. “I will be there soon.”

She showed up faster than I expected. Immediately, I set my eyes on her. It was as if the pain had been waiting for her arrival to strike with full force. The pain tripled in intensity that I could barely breathe through it. I got into the car and my hands, my hands were resting on my belly, it felt like my body was tearing apart from the inside, every second was like I wouldn't make it. Sweat gathered on my forehead, every muscle stretched. The car bumped slightly over the road, but her voice was calm and soothing. I opened my mouth and took a deep breath. It didn't take the pain away, but it helped a little.

“You are doing so well. "Just breathe, I am right here with you,” Maria said.

As soon as we arrived at the hospital, the nurses ran checks on me, and it was official. The baby was coming. Every scream, every tear, and every breath is a sacrifice. There are no words for the pain. After several hours of labor, my princess finally came into the world, tiny, warm and perfect. My daughter was placed in my arms, the world cracked open in a way I couldn't have imagined. I cried, not out of fear anymore, but because I felt loved… relieved. They were tears of joy. After everything, the shame, the silence, feeling like I had no one, I finally felt seen. She needed me, and for her, I had to be strong. I named her Ivy. It just felt right… like love that doesn’t go away.

And in that quiet moment, I thought about the father of my child, where he might be and what he would have done if he were to be here.

The first few weeks after my baby was born were tough, sleepless nights, nonstop feeding, crying, and sore muscles. But every time I looked at Ivy, it felt totally worth it. I wasn’t doing this alone, just like Maria said. She made things easier for me. Most nights, she’d stay up with the baby so I could actually get some rest. She celebrated every little win with me. Together, we didn’t just bring a baby into the world, we welcomed a new me.

After a long while, I picked up my pencil again without fear gripping my chest. I began to smile, I started taking small steps back into the world, I began a job search, I sketched during nap times when the baby was sleeping, painted when the house was silent. At this point, my parents had no idea of what I had been going through. They didn't even know I had just given birth. My happiness during those months was contagious. Not because life was perfect, but because I wasn’t walking through it alone. I have a daughter now.

One cool evening, I was painting when I received an email. It came in as a shock.