The Guardian Queen

Chapter Six

~ Ember

*

While Phyneas was off on an errand for me, I took the time for a much-needed refresh. I wasn’t ordinarily one to nap during the day, and the fact that I’d done so in day clothes left me feeling especially icky. After a speedy shower and brushing my teeth, I was once again taken aback when I locked eyes with my reflection. I wondered if I’d ever adjust to seeing my blue irises edged with vibrant gold. Even my skin had developed a subtle glow, yet another byproduct of my experience in Eden.

*

I dragged myself away from the mirror and went into Phoenix’s gigantic closet. Past all the finest clothes the guardian world could offer (men’s on the right and women’s on the left) in every color imaginable, I headed straight for the chest of drawers. A true guardian queen likely would have opted for something more sophisticated, even for movie night, but I was more at home in a pair of soft cotton pants and my favorite worn-in sweater. I dressed quickly and immediately set out to meet Phyneas in the kitchen, as agreed.

*

The palace kitchen was situated on the lowest level, not far from the training facility. It was a wonderfully strange hodgepodge of old and new. The ancient stone floor, trodden by countless generations of cooks and staff, was as original as the homey brick walls that had survived a number of remodels. The addition of modern appliances, all sleek, shiny, and top-of-the-line, created an odd contrast, though not altogether unattractive.

*

When I entered, I found Phyneas’ mess of light auburn hair rummaging through the refrigerator. Hearing me approach, he peered around the fridge door. “Ah, there you are. Not many options today, unfortunately,” he said, pulling out two cans of soda. “Lemon-lime or cream soda?”

“Cream soda, no contest,” I answered with a smile, taking the can. We proceeded to equip ourselves with every piece of junk food we could carry before heading upstairs.

*

“Did you complete your assignment?” I asked Phyneas as we reached the first floor and continued toward the main staircase. Glancing at me over his shoulder, he responded, “Why are you talking like that?”

“I’m testing out my queen voice. How’d it sound?”

“Like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.”

“Great,” I answered wryly. “If my best friend doesn’t take me seriously, how will the rest of the kingdom?”

“I do take you seriously, Emmie. After the past few days, how could I not?”

“Not everyone had a front row seat to what happened like you did, though.”

“True. But by now the news has made its way across the globe. That’s all that matters.”

“That’s different. People exaggerate. How am I to live up to that?”

“What happened on Spiritus Caeli cannot be exaggerated. Trust me.”

*

Even without the gift of empathy or a spiritual bond, Phyneas had no trouble discerning my thoughts as accurately as Gemma or Phoenix. My silence told him everything that I struggled to. And it went against his nature to ignore the angst of a friend. “Em, everything you need to gain the admiration of your subjects is already inside you,” he gently asserted. “Always has been.” With a sigh, I softly answered, “I’m afraid it’s not that simple, Phyn.”

“It is actually.”

“Phyn—”

“No, listen.” He stepped into my path, looking down at me with earnest as he continued, “I personally watched Nic transition from man to king. That makes me uniquely qualified to give advice on the subject.”

I adjusted my armful of snacks, gave Phyneas my full attention, and said, “You’re right, pup. Go ahead.”

“I know you are probably tired of hearing this,” he began, “but the truth often bears repeating. And the truth is, you were born to be queen.”

“Yes, but what everyone who keeps telling me that fails to understand is that just because I’ve accepted it doesn’t mean I don’t feel the pressure to live up to destiny.”

“See, that’s just it, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. You can’t mistake being queen as a mold you’re required to fit into. The fact that you were born for this means the role will mold around who you are.”

*

Phyneas’ words hit like a dose of oxygen and, for a moment, I breathed easier from the truth in them. However, a lifetime of self-doubt was not easily purged. A voice deep inside asserted that it could never be that simple. Even now, with the kingdom having only just discovered the revival of the queen’s reign, the public was already forming varying expectations of me, and simply ‘being myself’ wasn’t enough to fulfill a fraction of them.

*

I summoned a hopeful smile for Phyneas and said, “I suppose any halfway decent ruler would be wise to consider the advice of those with more experience.” His eyes brightened with satisfaction as he turned, and we resumed our trek through the castle. “Nic could stand to take a lesson or two from you, Emmie,” he said blithely. “Sometimes I think he deliberately does the opposite of whatever I say just to irritate me. If you love me, Em, please don’t ever make your advisor feel unnecessary.”

“Come on, you know Phoenix thinks the world of— wait, what do you mean my advisor? The queen has a separate advisor?” He laughed at my surprise and said, “It’s been so long I had to look it up. But yeah, traditionally, the king and queen engage their own staff. Including a publicist, secretary, and an advisor.”

*

Excitement quickly shifted into anxiety, and with it all the pressure of becoming queen returned. What if I chose the wrong person? What if I trusted the wrong person? A poor advisor could be catastrophic to my reign. Once again proving he could read me as easily as Phoenix, Phyneas nudged my shoulder, saying, “Relax, Emmie. Until you’re ready, I’m happy to pull double duty.”

*

Before I could express my gratitude, Phyneas and I turned the final corner on the third floor, and our conversation came to an abrupt end as a delighted squeal of, “Ember!” echoed down the corridor. I smiled at Phyneas’ younger sister, waiting for us just outside the recreation room.

*

“Hey, Jasmine,” I greeted as we reached her, shifting my snacks to one arm so I could embrace Jasmine with the other.

“Thanks for sending my brother after me,” she said. “I’ve been overwhelmed with custom orders ever since word got out that I made the gown you wore to the…um…”

“Smiting ritual,” I finished for her.

“Uh, yeah. That. … Anyway, jobs are piling up. A movie night is exactly what I need.”

“Glad you could join us.”

*

Though I was happy to offer Jasmine a respite from work, I had ulterior motives for wanting her there, motives which Phyneas had no knowledge of and which I could only pray wouldn’t later come to bite me in the ass.

*

Jasmine snatched the bag of M&M’s from her brother’s arms and opened the door for us. Considering the recreation room had seen very little use prior to my occupancy, it was a little surprising to find it wasn’t empty. Before I could greet Sadie, Phyneas hissed, “What the devil are YOU doing here?” My truth instructor looked more relaxed than I’d ever seen her, wearing a simple outfit that, although neat and classy, was no doubt casual by her standards. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail with short, soft curls dangling. She was comfortably reclined in the only chair, a blanket draped over her legs, and a book in her lap.

*

Sadie remained indifferent to Phyneas’ outrage, refusing to spare him a glance as she calmly turned the page and responded, “I would think even a simpleton such as yourself would recognize the act of reading.” He ignored the jab and stated, “The library is on the ground floor, northwest corner. You can’t miss it, it’s the one with all the books.”

*

I dumped my food on the coffee table and proceeded to relieve Phyneas of what he carried, all the while he remained determined to be rid of Sadie before moving further into the room. But again, she paid him no mind which only added to his frustration. “Don’t you have a home to go to?” he groused. She finally looked up. Her icy stare met his, though her tone remained perfectly civil as she said, “I reside in the castle by invitation of the king. Any objections to my presence can be taken up with him.”

*

Weary of their hostility, I sought to squelch the matter, declaring, “You’re welcome to join us, Sadie.”

“Emmie!” Phyneas exclaimed in protest, directing his outraged expression at me.

“She was here first, Phyn,” I pointed out.

“Thank you, Ember,” Sadie said with a nod of appreciation and a hint of smug satisfaction. “It’s comforting to know your association with this neanderthal haven’t compromised your manners.”

*

Phyneas scowled at Sadie but refrained from returning fire as he claimed his seat on the massive L-shaped sectional. Jasmine made herself comfortable in the corner seat while I took the middle, directly in front of the TV screen. Resolved with participating in our little viewing party, Sadie closed her book and set it aside.

*

“So, what’s on the marquee this evening?” Jasmine asked. I marveled as she snapped her fingers, conjuring a pink silk scrunchie with which to tie up her long auburn hair like it was something people did every day and not the least bit magical.

*

Phyneas snatched the remote off the coffee table and responded, “Emmie requested something from the Marvel universe. So, I figured we’d start at the beginning.”

“Iron Man?” his sister clarified with more than a hint of displeasure.

“Where would YOU suggest we start?”

“Captain America, obviously.”

“How is that the obvious start?”

“Because it takes place in the 1940s, long before Tony Stark was even born!” Phyneas narrowed his eyes at his sister and retorted, “You’ve just got an unhealthy obsession with Chris Evans.”

“I do not!”

*

Annoyed with the siblings’ squabble, Sadie and I rolled our eyes at one another before she withdrew her phone from under the blanket. Content with letting the Merrick siblings hash it out without interference, I reached for the bowl of popcorn Phyneas brought, nestled it into my lap, and popped a few pieces into my mouth. It mattered little to me what we watched. Merely being among friends was the main appeal of Phyn’s idea. I hadn’t felt so at ease in weeks.

*

Phyneas and Jasmine continued their argument, repeatedly trying to speak over one another, until Sadie loudly cleared her throat. When the siblings fell silent, she looked up from her phone and said, “I vote for The Princess Bride.” Surprised by her input, I responded, “Sadie, you’re familiar with human films?”

“No. But a quick internet search suggests that this particular film is widely regarded as a favorite across many genres. According to StellarMovieBlog24,” she consulted her phone again and read, “The Princess Bride is a timeless classic with action, adventure, humor, and romance, featuring an A-plus cast. Sounds like it’s worth my time.”

“It is,” I agreed. “I second Sadie’s nomination.”

“Fine,” Jasmine conceded, ripping into the bag of M&M’s. “I can live with that.”

“Sorry, Min, looks like Evans will have to stay in your dreams,” Phyneas remarked. She stuck her tongue out at him, and a gummy bear flew past me in her direction, missing by a mile.

~~~

We blew through the remainder of the afternoon and sailed straight into the evening, having dinner delivered to the recreation room. Not long into the second movie, Phoenix appeared. He sauntered in, stopping behind the couch where I sat, and settled his hands on my shoulders. I knew he had no intention of joining us. Taking the time to swim was one thing, but my companion found it impossible to remain idle while there was any amount of work to be done. Once reassured of my contentedness, he dropped a kiss on my head and departed.

*

Beyond the boundaries of awareness, the movie played on while my eyes glazed over as my focus shifted inward. Pinpointing the spark of life that was Phoenix, I followed it down a flight of stairs and all the way south. “Emmie?” Phyneas whispered in concern. I blinked repeatedly before turning my gaze on him. “He’s in his office again,” I said. He shrugged sympathetically and replied, “It’s what he does.” I snatched the remote from his lap and paused the movie, gaining his full attention. “If you don’t go with him, I will.” Phyneas nodded and stood up to stretch before following after Phoenix.

*

Towards the end of the second film, we called for a bottle of wine. Being the thorough steward that he was, Hamish delivered a selection of three reds and three whites. With Phyneas gone, we shifted from action/adventure films in favor of a romantic drama series.

*

Between episodes, I refilled my wine glass and expressed, “I feel a bit guilty that Gemma’s hard at work while we’re kicked back, enjoying some wine and romance.” Jasmine held out her glass for me to top off as she replied, “Gem would pick work over entertainment any day of the week.”

*

“Ugh!” Sadie exclaimed in frustration at the television. “How do humans tolerate this nonsense, much less enjoy it?” I stifled a laugh at her outrage over fictitious characters and asked, “You don’t like it, Sadie?”

“I didn’t say that.” Despite her disinterested expression, it was clear that after only three episodes, she was hooked. “I simply find it impossible to generate any sympathy for Gabriella’s heartache. She should have known Hanson was lying to her from the beginning. It was painfully obvious.”

“To you, maybe,” I said, pausing the start of the next episode. “Not everyone has a gift for detecting dishonesty. You can’t fault her for being human.”

“I fault her for being a clueless idiot.”

“I’ve seen this season,” Jasmine interjected, “and I have to agree with Sadie. Gabriella totally let herself get played. She ignored all the red flags.”

“Maybe she chose to ignore them because she loved him,” I suggested, making Sadie roll her eyes and respond, “All the more reason I say she deserved the consequences.” Jasmine shrugged and agreed, “Harsh but true.”

*

Keen to get to know Phyneas’ little sister on a deeper level, I decided to stoke the conversation a bit further in the hopes she would reveal more of her character. “It’s easy to cast judgment on a TV show,” I said. “But it’s an entirely different story when it’s your own reality. It’s far easier than you think to accept a lie, or even several, rather than admit someone we love would deliberately deceive us.” A knowing look passed between Sadie and me, leading me to believe she understood my intentions for steering the conversation this direction.

*

“Oh, come on, Ember,” Jasmine said, oblivious to mine and Sadie’s silent communication. “You can’t compare Hanson’s betrayal to your experience with Phoenix.”

“I’m not,” I replied. “I know Nic did what he truly thought was best, in the beginning at least. I was thinking about my mom, actually.”

*

We left all thought of the show behind as the topic shifted to my very real, very personal experience. Jasmine adjusted her relaxed position, sitting up with interest as she quietly asked, “Did you know, when you were younger, that she was hiding something from you?”

“I think a part of me knew, but it was incredibly difficult to accept. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I finally admitted to myself that my mom had secrets.”

“Stands to reason,” Sadie said. “A massive biological shift begins at sixteen. It’s why the awakening is done at that age. Even without your abilities, your instincts would’ve become more defined.” I nodded and said, “I didn’t understand it at the time, but looking back, it’s just as you’ve said. Those who have the power to perceive truth can see it even when it remains unspoken.” Sadie regarded me with approval and stated, “I knew truth would be a dominant ability for you.”

*

“Although,” I continued, “Even after Aunt Beth told me everything, I struggled to understand my mom’s motivations.”

“I assumed it was under some misguided attempt at protecting you,” Jasmine replied curiously.

“Believing that definitely made the betrayal hurt less,” I admitted. “And maybe that was a part of it, but it was also selfish. My mom swore to Beth she’d never again set foot in guardian territory, and she couldn’t bear to part with me if I chose this life for myself. So, she lied.”

*

“Still,” I went on. “Even after everything, I’ve chosen to forgive her. Because as selfish as her actions were, she was still my mom, and I loved her.”

“I can’t imagine how hard that must have been,” Jasmine softly said. “I don’t think I’d ever be able to forgive that.” Her declaration struck me, and I wondered just how true it was. Many have no idea what they’re capable of until put in a difficult situation.

*

“Deception hurts most from those closest to us,” Sadie softly claimed. When our eyes met, my previous suspicions were confirmed. At some point since visiting the prison compound, Phoenix had confided in Sadie what he’d yet to confide in his most trusted advisor. She cleared her throat, shifted her attention to Jasmine, and added, “The greater the pain the more difficult it is to forgive.”

*

Jasmine turned to me, asking, “Ember, how were you able to forgive your mother?” After due consideration, I answered, “I realized that peace is more precious than resentment.”

“I get that, but don’t you think that some things are simply unforgivable?” I spared Sadie the briefest of glances before asking Jasmine, “Is there no one you love so much that you’d forgive them for any offense?”

*

Unfortunately, I never got an answer. Our conversation halted with the sound of a timid knock. All three of us looked to the door as Freya stepped into the room. “Sorry for the interruption, my lady,” she said.

“Not at all, Freya,” I told her. “I thought you went to bed hours ago.”

“Well, no,” she replied nervously. “I… I thought you might have need of me.”

“Ember, she can’t retire until you dismiss her,” Sadie explained.

“What?” I snapped in shock. “Since when?”

“Since always,” said Jasmine, giggling at my ignorance.

“I had no idea! It’s not as though becoming a lady of the court came with an instruction manual.”

*

I looked apologetically at my lady’s maid. “I’m so sorry, Freya. You should have said something.”

“It’s not her place.”

“Hush, Sadie.” I gestured to the seat beside me and offered, “Would you like to join us?” Freya’s face paled at my suggestion. We’d come a long way in our time together, but my lady’s maid still had no desire to blur the line between mistress and servant, though I’d never seen her that way.

*

Freya took a tiny step forward, opened her mouth to answer, but her reply was cut off when a deafening explosion echoed throughout the castle. All four of us reflexively clutched the furniture, steadying ourselves, as the floor shook beneath us.

*

The tremor rippled upward through the walls. Framed artwork crashed to the ground, and the lights flickered. We exchanged dumbstruck looks as the sensation faded and the room fell quiet. I was the first to express what we were all undoubtedly thinking. “What in hell’s name was that?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~