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I did call Margaret and she responded with warmth and, Good Lord, affection. As a young man, I hadn’t been what you could ever term a ladies’ man. Alcoholics have a deadly combination of ego and no self-esteem. It sure confuses the hell out of you. You select a woman who is top of your wish list (ego dictates this), then the lack of self-esteem dismantles every single reason she might ever consider you. So, you move way down the scale and search out the grateful ones. Their gratitude lies in that hardly anyone would ever consider them. Thus the dual damage, the hurt, has piled on already. The whole shabby ritual is pre-ordained to failure. The guys you know, they sneer,
“She’s a nice girl.”
In macho terms, she doesn’t, as the Americans say, “put out”. In other words, buddy, you ain’t
