The day i stopped loving

Party!!

Okay so I've been at college a few days and its been going kind of good Julia is still crazy as hell about Ryan, I haven't seen him since Monday thank god! Lewis has tired calling me several times a day. I've spoke to Tasha everyday this week preparing for tomorrow night. It's Friday 11:30 AM I don't have college on Thursdays and Fridays.

On Tuesday I made posters and on Wednesday I put them up all over college to make sure as many people as possible come to this party, my mother is going to be gone for just over a week so that gives me plenty of time to sober up and tidy the house and lucky for me she's taking the twins with her, so it will be just me and frank to do whatever we want for a week, obviously i still have college but i could have a party every night of the week if i wanted to and still make it to college the next day.

While waiting for Tasha to get here I've decided to start preparing the house for tomorrow night, removing all breakables from the living room and the hallways. We don't have that much stuff as this house is bigger than our last one so it didn't take too long to move stuff around, just as I was finishing up Frank comes down stairs and asks what i'm cooking for tea, even though he's the eldest  he can't cook to save his life and his ideal meal is Dinosaur turkey nuggets,

"i want lasagne, yours is better then mums" he said with a cheesy smile

"fine but you owe me, big time because I'm tired as hell and I've got a lot of s**t to do for tomorrow" 

"you ain't got s**t to do tomorrow, people are bringing their own booze and we'll be ordering pizza just as people start to arrive so don't worry about it, if anything goes wrong I'll sort it you just have fun, k sis" he reassured me

"k, fine, I'll at least try not to worry about people throwing up in the pool and wrecking the house, and do you want any specials in your lasagne?" the reason my lasagne is better then my mothers is because I put weird s**t in it, the last time me and frank threw a party we got high and made a lasagne at 3 AM with onion rings and potato wedges, it was actually really good, I was very surprised how it turned out.

After i made the lasagne without any surprises frank and i had ate, Tasha had finally arrived, it was now 1:05 AM and Tasha has been complaining about being hungry for about an hour so we decided to head to maccies as the one near my house is 24/7. Because I was paying Frank was driving his car, while driving we listened to GOOBA by '6ix9ine' I hate his music but Frank has control over the AUX cord so i didn't have a say but thankfully it was over soon and so what by JXDN  came on and like always when his songs came on i sung my heart out, as did Tasha, soon arriving at maccies we decided to sit inside, it wasn't as busy as i thought it would be for a friday night but as we got closer to the building i realised it was a bad idea...

I could see Lewis sat at a table with a couple of his friends, including Ryan, i kind of felt bad for overreacting when he grabbed me but i don't know him and I just got scared you never know what a guy could do, I don't trust easily. "hey, you okay, you spaced out" Tasha said breaking me out of thought looking worried, "yeah I'm good, sorry, Lewis is there" I said pointing inside at where he was seated, she gave me a smirk and said "come on, let's get a big mac and remind him why he's been calling you everyday", I just laughed at howright she was while Frank aid "do i need to kick someone's arse" making me laugh even more, "Frank you're weaker than me shut up" with that said we walk through the doors of maccies and went straight to order our food, Frank order everything and I handed him my card as i was too busy laughing at Tasha talking about how crazy Lewis had been the previous days, we sat down away from Lewis' friends and behind a small wall so he didn't notice me if he hadn't already.

"hey, Becca can i talk to you" Lewis said with a sad look in his eyes but i had a feeling it wasn't real

"sure whats up" i said as neutral as i could remembering what me and Tasha were laughing about

"I.. erm, I mean in privet" he laughed nervously

"sure, I'll be back guys" i said standing up as Frank said "you need me to come?" i just laughed while walking away following Lewis outside, "so whats up?", "who's the guys?" he asked "answering my question with another question, nice" I said with a small chuckle "im sorry, i know I'm not your boyfriend, were not even friends i just really like you and I'm the jealous type not that i should be, i barely know you and feel free to do whatever you want with whomever, I just wish I was involved" i feel kind of awkward right now as he's telling this because he seems nice but he's also kind of crazy, "if i'm being honest I was looking forward to being your friend but then you called me having ago because we aren't together, and then since your called me everyday" he scratched the back of his keck "I'm really sorry about that but Ryan came up to be saying some s**t to me about you been hot and s**t and that you said to him you pick him over me, or whatever, i can't really remember but i was just so angry at him and I knew it kind of wasn't true but in the heat of the moment i took my anger out on you instead of on him, i don't expect you t forgive me or talk to me ever again i just hope you know i'm really sorry", "both you and Ryan are fuckin crazy! and need to chill out, are you going to my party tomorrow?" "i wasn't going to but i know Ryan is, he's planning on hooking up with..., anyone" he said laughing about the fact his friend is a player which make me laugh too " you should come, it's going to be fun, anyway I've got to get back, i have food to eat", "yeh okay, and I'll think about coming, see ya".

It's currently 2:45 AM and instead of been at home asleep, me and Tasha are driving around sheffield listening to music enjoying the night, after Lewis left maccies I ate my big mac and frank drove us back home but we weren't tired, we've been driving for about 30 or so minutes, all of a sudden Tasha screams makes me break really fuckin fast becuase she scared the crap out of me,

 "what the f**k are you screaming at!" i said shouting at her

"theres a spider!!" she yells getting out the car

"this b***h" i mutter to myself as i get out the car, when i close the door i look around and notice i can't see her "Tasha?" I get no reply so i walk around to her side maybe she fell over, but nope she was not there

I wanted around looking for her, but with how late it is it's hard to see anything and the street lights are no help, after about 5 mins of walking in the dark i hear her giggling at something, i turn a walk around a corner and see her playing in a water fountain, i swear she isn't 5 but shes acts like it 90% of the time, it's quite amusing to watch, Tasha is the most care free person I know.

"come on!" she shouts at me, at the moment I'm feeling very thankful that I've always got towels in my car, i mean you never know when you'll need them, as i run through the water i instantly regret it as its freezing cold, eventually i will warm up but right now i feel like I'm going into shock.

So the water didn't warm up and now me and Tasha are on our way home in the car, soaking wet and freezing, turns out i didn't have towels in my car. It's 3:30 AM when we finally arrived home, been as tired as we are, we decided to go straight to sleep.

I'm woke up by Frank trying to whisper screaming at someone, no idea who it is but its right outside my room and Frank isn't a quiet person, I get out of bed and walk to my door to find Frank and Ryan with a black eye, he's wearing sunglasses but i can still see it, who did he get in a fight with and why, what was it over, although the biggest question i have is why do i care so much, curiosity killed the cat after all.

"Ryan said he needed to talk to you, but when i answered the door and said you were still asleep he didn't believe me so he just barged in and insisted i show him where your room was, and just before you opened your door i was telling him to leave"he said the last bit glaring at Ryan

"okay well im awake now so whats up" i said still making eye contact with Ryan

"erm, can we talk in private?" Ryan says flicking his eye between me and Frank

"no!, you can not, you'll sit in the living room, where i can see the both of you!" Frank sneers at us both, as we make our way to the living room we pass the back door so i quickly grab Ryans are and drag him outside and lock the door so Frank cant come outside, "so what'd you wanna talk about, does it have anything to do with that" i ask pointing at him eye

"erm, yeah kinda" he says looking at the floor, "do you trust Lewis?"

"kind of, why?" I'm really confused, but i think it was Lewis that he fought

"don't he's bad news, not dangerous just a bad guy, he did this for no reason" he says taking off his sunglasses

"oh, well how do you know bad guys aren't my type?" I questioning look

"because i know the type of girl you are, and he doesn't deserve you, anyway, i should be going I'll see you tonight ye?" i give him a small nod and walk him to the front door. I made me and Tasha some pancakes for breakfast, well more like lunch, Ryan came round at about 1:25 in the afternoon, at the moment it's 5:45 PM and people are meant to be arriving in an hour, Tasha has just started getting ready after having a shower and now i'ts my turn the bathe, making sure i wash every part of my body, I'm not planning on hooking up with anyone tonight but that doesnt mean i want to be smelling gross for the party, once I've washed my long brown hair with coconut shampoo and washed my whole body with my lynxes shower gel i wrap my body in a soft warm towel and head into my room to start to dry my hair and my make-up. I've decided to curl my hair and I've also gone for a natural look with as little makeup as possible, I'm wearing black knee high boots with gray tatty shorts and a plaid shirt, Tasha is wearing a black dress with a pair of black knee high boots, once we're ready it's 6:15 PM and Frank has just ordered about a dozen pizzas while Tasha and I get the drinks section set up outside and in the dining room so people can keep their drinks cold without taking space up in the fridge/kitchen, we've got buckets filled with ice and outside it's already pretty cold so I'm thinking of not opening the pool up, yeh I think I'm going to wait until someone brings it up.

The pizzas have finally arrived and about 5 mins later so did everyone else, i have to say theres a lot of people here, it's 7:00 PM and most of the people here are already drunk, including Tasha and she can usually handle her boozes so she must havehad a lot, which surprises me although she has been standing talking to a guy for a while. while me on the other hand hasn't has one drink and no one has talked to me, not even Frank hasn't spoke to me since he's pissed about me talking to Ryan outside. soo, here i am stood outside watching people dance and drink enjoying themselves and I've decided to just get drunk and have I fun by myself, my drink being jack and coke, before i head to the kitchen to get my drink I quickly run to the bathroom choosing the one in my room so i don't walk in on anyone, once i reach my room, I open the door realizing i didn't lock it and find Ryan sat on my bed his head shoots up as I enter the room "what are you doing in my room!?, get out" i say pointing to the door, he opened then closed his mouth and stood up from the bed and left the room, i was quite curious as to why he was in my room but if it was important then he'd have told me, remembering why i came upstairs in the first place i quickly ran to my bathroom and to pee.

Nothing much is happening, since i had my run in with Ryan and used the bathroom I've had 3 jack and cokes, I'm on my 4th stood near the bottom of my garden so i can see everyone as there aren't many people left inside and i opened the pool so people could swim nut as for me i wasn't feeling it right now, i don't know what's up with me I'm always up for a swim but right now i just feel... off, all of a sudden I start to feel a bit anxious and like someone is watching me, so I decide to take a walk around to see if anyone's looking at me but as i make it to the back door i didn't find anyone looking at me, I drink the last bit of my drink and head to the kitchen to get a refill. Mine, Tasha and Franks drinks are in the fridge as we didn't want anyone taking them and just before i reach the fridge I see Ryan looking out the kitchen window stood in the middle of a group of people, I quietly walk through the people and they leave the kitchen, so now its just me and Ryan stood there but he hasn't noticed me

with a confused look on both his and my face I clear my throat and say "what are you doing?" 

without looking at me he says "looking for someone" 

"oh, okay" once the words left my mouth I see his eyes widen and he looks as me with a bit of pink in his cheeks

he then says "i wasn't looking for anyone, what you doing?"

"I'm just getting a drink, and if you aren't looking for someone what were you doing?" i said wiggling my eyebrows at him after opening the fridge and getting the drinks out

"oh, erm... i was just, erm i-"

"you were looking for someone, who was it?!!" i said while smirking at him

"fine, i was looking for you" he whispers looking away from me but i still hear him

"what for and why were you sat in my room earlier, is this about lewis again because if it is i don't want to hear it, I'm not friends with him, so there is no poi-"

"it's not about lewis, it's about me and... you" he interrupted me

"what about us?" I asked in confusion, like what is this guy thinking about?

"there is no us" he says with a bit of sadness in his voice, is this guy serious, i can tell he's a player and he doesn't even know me how can he want an us

"well i didn't mean it in that way and so what we're friends right?, if you want an us you'd actually have to get to know me and like me, you barley know me so you can't tell me honestly tell me you like me, and I'm not even looking for a boyfriend" i said while finally making my drink and taking a quick shot of jack

"so, you have a boyfriend already, and yeah i do like you and i want to get to know you, i think you might be the one" he said the last part chuckeling 

"i never said i had a boyfriend" i replied as i left the kitchen, i feel a bit better than i did before when i was outside, so i decided to strip down to my undies and go swim with everyone else, once I'm in the pool i notice Ryan step outside and look around and we make eye contact and he instantly looked away.

People have come and gone, Pizzas are all gone, back garden is a mess and I'm drunk as hell, i definitely wont remember this tomorrow but it was fun and i was going to made sure Tasha and i had loads of photos before we went to sleep but at the moment its 4:45 AM and Tasha is nowhere to be seen in the house or back garden and she's not answering her phone and I'm kind of worried, this girl always seems to get lost, I'm really tired so i decide to just head to bed, once i get to my room Ryan was once again sat on my bed and he asks "can i spend the night here, my parents aren't expecting me home so they won't be awake", "sure i don't mind, the sofa down stairs is free", "oh... erm, i ment here" he said pointing to my bed while standing, "erm... i don't kn-" "I'll stay on my side i promise, I'm not the type to cuddle or touch someone that doesn't want me to", I'm really tired why couldn't he of asked earlier!!, "okay sure, just be quiet I'm really tired" i say handing him a pair of my brothers boxers while gesturing to the bathroom, once I hear the door lock from the inside i get into my PJs and lay under the quilt, before i know it sleep started taking over me and i fell into the darkness.