Emergence of Verity

SENSIBILITY

There was a very soft cold breeze that blew my aching skin. It feels sore and burned but it is somehow more tolerable compared to when I was getting sucked by a strong gravitational force. Which reminds me of how I am hopelessly lying down on a cold ground.

I tried to move the tip of my fingers hoping it would flinch even just a little. To my surprise, it didn't move just a little, instead, it rose an inch from the ground. My sense of feeling seemed so overwhelming I touched the floor and realized where I was actually lying down. I grabbed all the soil that could fill my palm on arms reach hoping I could touch some dry soil or grass to reassure myself I am safe and sound on our backyard, instead, it was like a soft crumple of dust but cold and felt like...

Snow? But it doesn't snow in my gramps backyard, nor even from where I live. I tried to open my eyes hoping that it would and saw snow filled twigs and branches surrounding me. I am already enjoying the solemnity of the snow-white view and the comfort of my snow filled bed when balls of snow unexpectedly started falling. Each snowflake calms my sore skin making me want to be buried in the comfort of cold build-up of snow that I don't want to move, not even an inch.

But the sudden gale made my skin numbed that I suddenly sat up. It was a crippling chill which shivers my very spine telling me that it isn't safe to keep lying down. I was welcomed with glass-like trees sculpted to perfection. It looks so surreal I couldn't believe my eyes. I stood up realizing that I couldn't feel any more pain. My body feels and looks so well, not even a scratch could be seen that I am starting to forget how I got here. Slowly walking towards these magnificent trees, admiring its glossy flawless trunks and twigs, I was welcomed by mossy and dusty smell from the foggy air which suffocates me. The creeps of the area run chills through my body.

I heard sudden but subtle movements from the sculpted trees. It sounded like a smooth crawl of a silk towards the cold branches. I looked around giving myself the assurance that I am safe and there's nothing to be scared about. I walked further through the dense trees careful not to make even the slightest sound.

But my fear betrayed me the moment I looked up and saw human-like creatures hanging upside down from the tree's branches. They were hideous five-eyed woman-like creatures with reptile skin. They were glowing with the moonlight glistening through the glassy leaves. I was frozen to the bones, confused whether it's because of the cold weather or because of the fear of being seen by these unfriendly looking creatures.

I took careful steps further, giving myself false reminders that I am safe. It feels colder now with my feet getting number the more steps forward. Please, someone, anyone, I need help! I begged and begged inside my head. But my pleads weren't answered, I don't think they're even heard. How stupid of me to hope for something that will never come.

However, another gust of wind made me fall from my unsteady walk. As fast as the wind came was my misfortune. The creatures swiftly turned their heads towards my direction; so fast I was numb to the bone. The sudden creeps made a silent scream escape my mouth. Their glossy beaded eyes were blankly staring through me as though they were examining my presence. I didn't dare move, not even the slightest twitch. I couldn't even blink that my eyes feel sore and burning from the cold wind.

My mind went blank and I couldn't think straight but I knew what I wanted all along. To wake up from this bad dream and be back to the comfort of our home; I miss my gramps. Then I heard it, snake-like silky crawl coming from behind my back. As if I was ready, I get a hold of what was coming from behind. It's that woman like reptile with five bright blue hollow eyes. The eyes looked like a deep endless hole that the longer you stare the deeper it goes. I didn't realize what happened until I heard another five or more creatures crawled towards my direction.

I moved so swift like the heroine's from the books my gramps read to me when I was young; I get a hold of their heads. But I guess it was adrenaline rush that I get to crush their glossy slimy five eyed heads. They bleed of gooey greyish-blue blood and was bubbling hot that it burned my skin. I let go of it before my skin gets torn to pieces and acquire third degree burns. Realizing the mess I made, I run for my life!

Farther, my breathing gets heavier while the pathway gets slimmer but steeper and the trees gets thicker. The five-eyed woman like creatures were just a few inches away from me and they were madder than before I squished those five into goos, when I heard a swish of rope. It was loud and sounds too painful that the five-eyed creatures screeches in agony and skidded away from me.

I stopped running and looked up while catching my breath. There I saw a glowing subtle mist of a woman wearing a semi see-through aqua blue long dress. It looks so light and airy; it's elegance flowing through the soft whispers of air. It was glowing, glittering; it was everything sparkly. Without realizing, I was comforted by its presence.

"w-what are y-you?" I asked mindlessly. "You're welcome." It replied as if I hadn't asked. "What? Oh, thanks I guess." I flushed, embarrassed for being ungrateful. "Do not tread alone." It sounded like I was hearing a motherly advice. I was about to ask the same question of what it is but I noticed the sadness showing through its eyes. "Do not tread alone." It said once more. I wonder why it looked so sad uttering such words.

"I am... and I would... all over again." I said without heeding its warning nor understanding what she meant. Little did I know I looked stupid acting cool. Just then, a hair-raising sneer drew all over its innocent face finally realizing our resemblance. The apparition seemed to melt very slowly into granulated sparkly dust.

I heard sudden but subtle crawls behind me that not even a second later, every inch of my body has been bounded by the five-eyed woman like creatures like a snake, halting every movements I tried to make that I couldn't even breathe! "He-help! Wait!" I stuttered in defeat before it totally disapparate. "W-wait. I need help. I w-won't thread a-alone, whatever it m-meant!" I panted swallowing every ounce of pride that filled my veins. The apparition seemed to reappear into the subtle glowing mist showing much more resemblance to myself that it looks like I was looking at my reflection, only it was glowing.

The spine-tingling smirk that was drawn on its face a while ago seemed to turn into a warm welcoming smile. Just as sudden as it reappeared, that it turned into a glowing misty ball of light colliding directly through my heart. It was painfully cold that I fell down on my numbing knees and fainted before realizing what had happened.

I was blankly staring in what seemed like an endless darkness when I heard the apparition's echoing voice inside my head. "Thank you for finding me. I have been lost for a long time in this cold place." It said in a calm but obviously gloomy voice. "But how did you got lost here?" I asked without really meaning to know the answer. "I was left to be forgotten." It said in an utter glum. "Couldn't you at least find your way out?" I asked insensitively. "You didn't want me to." It replied distantly. "Why would you even need my opinion to get out?" I sniggered thoughtlessly as a ball of light appeared in front of my very eyes and formed a glowing child.

It looked at me smiling innocently and said "I was you", from those words I remembered thinking how we looked alike when I saw her a while ago. I indeed looked like her when I was younger. "But how come you didn't look like that when I met you in the forest?" I asked all confused. "Because that was your reflection but this is my true form. I was buried deep within for so long, forgotten. " She explained as if it was obvious. "I don't understand." Exclaiming my confusion. "You will, one day."

I awoke with a jolt. I looked around expecting to see the five-eyed creatures waiting to strangle me to death. Only to realize that I am inside a small but warm cabin. It looked like a house of snow white's seven dwarves in the movies I watched when I was young. I was young, I dreamed of it. I tried to remember but I'm having a bit of difficulty to recall.

I snapped back when the door swung open and I saw a boy looking like Portus wearing an unkept and ragged brown vest, only dirtier and doesn't look like he combs. He greeted me with all teeths out. "Tati!" I didn't expect such energetic Portus greeting me upon waking. "uh, you know me? Oh, right, of course you know me." I whispered in a distinctive voice a little hesitant but hopeful of something I don't know what. "Of course! We're best friend!" he said still smiling. "But that was so long ago." He continued as I looked away; wanting him to take it back and say that we still are. "Oh right. Not anymore; That was so long ago." I mumbled trying to sound aloof as my heart aches hearing him utter those words. I want him to take it back and to tell me that that was a mistake and I am mistaken. But more confusion formed in my head, I didn't really cared if Portus sees me as anything other than another human being. But why, after all this time, I am aching.

But then I heard hurried footsteps entered the busted open door catching my attention. There stood a younger looking gramps maybe only in his sixties. He looked at me with those glittering empathetic eyes I so missed. "G-Gramps!" I cried in a cracked voice. "I thought I lost you!" Oh! How I miss this old man! "Tati! You're finally awake!" Gramps said as if it wasn't obvious. "I am. I-I missed you! it's been so long since I uttered such endearing words. "Are you hurt?" I asked remembering how I tried to follow the monster taking him from our backyard, looking for any hint of cut or scratch on his arms. "What? Of course I'm fine!" He exclaimed. "B-but, the orc that took you -" I muttered all confused. "I've been here the whole time Tati. Nothing took me." he explained trying to calm me. I felt the warm tears down my cheeks realizing how I missed my sweet old gramps. He hugged me so tight that I have forgotten how sad I was. It has been so long ago since I hugged him. I just realized how distant gramps and I have been ever since that incident happened.

Awake... somehow, those words remained and echoed inside my head. "Gramps?" I said as I free from our warm embrace, "You said I was awake, but why do I still feel like dreaming?" I asked all the more confused realizing how everything doesn't feel real. "Can't we dream while we're awake?" he said while smiling the kindest smile I haven't seen for such a long time. "But everything here doesn't feel real."

"How do you define real?" Gramps asked as if I know the answer. "I can see you and you can see me as well. Just as how I can touch you and you can touch me." He added as he reached my cold hands. "This is our reality." he continued as he looked at Portus, who was seated on a nearby spindle chair watching us. He said our reality while looking at Portus. Does he mean it is just theirs but not mine? How can that be true? "So, you mean, this isn't my reality? How do I get back to my reality?" I uttered thinking out loud. "Aren't we all just sitting here wishing for a rule book that we could follow to understand life?" he chortled as he stood and walked towards the busted door. "I"ll make us something to eat." He said as he takes his leave. His answer didn't seem to fit what I asked. Why everything here appear so vague?

"Tati! Food is ready!" Gramps called from the outside after a few moments of awkward silence with Portus inside the room. I stood and went there with him, quite glad to finally get away from the awkwardness. Outside was a wooden table with chopped and dried tree trunk used as chair around it. The worn-out table is filled with delicious looking meal made by gramps. He's always liked to cook, he only stopped doing so quite a long time ago. I could barely even remember when was the last time I ate a proper and still warm food at home. I honestly didn't want to eat there for that reason.

"Here, fill yourself!" Beamed gramps giddily offering me a bowl of macaroni soup which was obviously made by hand. I wonder how long it took him to shape those macaroni pastas. "Don't worry, I can handle. I'll get my own." I said quite embarrassed being treated like that. "Oh, don't be silly." He said as if he knows better. Well, he really did know better. I just got uncomfortable cause it's been so long since he babied me like this. "Gramps, I missed us like this." Confessing my unspoken thoughts. "I know, I know." He said while smiling that very warm comforting smile. Whatever happened, although still confused, I want it like this now. But somehow, the honest remarks coming from me, surprises me so much.

"I'll help out." I said after finishing that last spoonful of mashed potatoes. "Are you sure? I think its better if you go on and rest." Gramps said quite worried. "Oh, I feel fine. After I've tasted the food you made!" I teased smiling all teeth's out. It's been quite a long time ago since I smiled this much if you ask. "Gracious! Go on, if you insist!" He flustered as he carried away the left overs. I'm helping out as well." Portus interrupted that made me roll my eyes.

"There's the wash area. Carry the dishes, I'll fetch some water." He instructed as he led the way. "Kay." I replied regretting my idea of helping out. The wash area was behind the small house where I was sleeping a while ago. A few meters from the sink, was a lodge used as a bathroom which has a well outside where Portus fetched some water. A meter walk from it is a gloomy looming forest of autumn trees. A hue of orange, yellow and brown with a lot of fallen crunchy leaves on the dry soil. A perfect place of comfort and warmth, I feel like staying here forever.

"Here." He said as he approached me with a wooden pail of water. "The water here's refreshing. You can actually drink it." He continued as he lifts a jug up my face. "Thanks." I replied shyly as I drink it. It is indeed refreshingly cold. "Let's finish this up so that you can rest before dusk."

"Why?" I asked. "Oh, I've got to collect and chop woods for dinner; that's only if you want to lend me a hand." He answered with the same hint of Portus I have known since we were two. If only we were still like this, things would have been bearable. "Hey" he muttered interrupting my thoughts. "huh?" I acknowledged as I passed the rinsed dishes. "I wonder what happened to us? We could have still been friends if you didn't push me away." He randomly whispered as he looked at me wearily. "Wondered." I softly echoed his worries also wondering if he had read my mind. "I wish you really did." I said facing him "Then you would have known what happened." He didn't say a word with what I said but sadness along with confusion is written all over his face.

Facing the small house on its left, was a tree house. It has a door in its wide trunk and a wooden stair around it going up to its branches where planks of woods are laid. The gigantic tree's yellow and orange leaves were used as a shade. "Gramps! What's up there?" I asked him just as when I saw him sitting on the wooden table butchering a wild boar. He looked up at me smiling then to where I was pointing. "Are you alright? That's your room." I looked at it, confusion all over my head. I walked towards my gramps, watching closely made me realize how he looked so much younger. "This is for dinner." He said smiling when he saw me watching him. I smiled back as I lowered the chopped woods Portus and I collected.

"What have you been doing that you fainted out there?" he asked as he went back to what he was doing. "Out where?" I asked raking my head for answer. Then it hit me. "Ah! Why is it snowing there but not here?" I uttered with such eagerness that made gramps giggle. "It's the Norte." He replied in an obviously tone. "What's that?" getting more confused instead. "Norte, it's that snowy mountain." He said as if he's getting tired of my repetitive question. "I just got more confused." I admitted. He looked at me bewildered. "I'll just go ahead and help out Portus then."I laughed nervously as I leave my confusion behind.

We then had our boiled boar with fried potatoes before the sun sets. "I'll clean up." Portus volunteered. "Go on Tati, you now need to rest." Gramps said. "Okay then. Good night. Thanks for the delicious meal." I said quite awkwardly.

I went towards the tree house. Thinking how it has always been a childhood dream of mine to have such. Inside was a loft bed of dried leaves with bear pelt to make it much more comfortable. Beneath it is a wooden table filled with dried huge banana leaves which I think is used as a paper. For there were some leaves which has childish drawings and scribbles on it. Hanging on the ceiling are lines of different style of clothes all looking like they've come from silk. On my left is a shelf of collected smooth rocks, carved woods and some old books. On my right is a collection of random small things, some looking like sticks of charcoals which I think is used to write. Then some weird looking necklaces and trinkets. Just beside it, stood a worn-out mirror as tall as I am.

I watched as my reflection blurs out, leaving me lost deep inside my thoughts. I wonder what happened to me that I end up here. Whatever this place is, although I think I like it here, I don't think I needed to be here. No matter how, with gramps around, it feels like everything here seemed to satisfy me. I know I will be happy here that I thought I can give up the life I had before and just accept everything presented to me as my reality. My life in this world felt like an escape, a free-flowing purposeless life, an answer to my long-forgotten prayers. How stupid of me to think, that someone will answer them. For this world scares me, how long will I survive? I do not know. I don't even know how to get out of this world or if I have the guts to.

I ran outside finally realizing what's been bothering me ever since arriving here. I wanted to leave this place and seek my purpose; I wanted to get out and live an actual life. The first thing I saw was Portus tying some chopped woods. "You're still awake." He uttered as I approached. "Uh, yes. And I need your help." I said excitedly. "Help for?" He looked at me baffled with my enthusiasm. "I want to leave." I breathe. "You can't do that." He opposed. "What? Why?" I asked with a hint of dismay in my voice. "You keep doing things as you please. How can you be so selfish?" he uttered in a disappointed dull whisper. "W-what do you mean?" I asked as if I didn't understand him the first time. "Stop being so selfish. You only think 'bout yourself, what 'bout gramps? Me?" he uttered so quickly I got lost for words. He looked at me as if awaiting a reply but I couldn't seem to find any.

That felt like a thousand knives thrown at me. I felt so misunderstood that I couldn't stop the warm tears running down my flustered cheeks. How can he call me selfish? All I wanted was to go back to my old self, to my real life; not here, not like this! I walked away feeling defeated. It sounds so childish to feel this way. But looking at the mirror, I didn't feel like I am seeing my ambiguous self, I felt vulnerable. As if everything is back again, weighing my shoulders down tearing all the walls I tried to build up to protect myself; it felt so real that it doesn't make sense. I realized I only wanted one thing so bad; it is to run away, to escape this ambiguous world. I didn't know heartache bear so much pain. It has been so long ago since I felt cheated. I should have known better; Portus has never taken my side after all.

I rushed to the small house where I slept this afternoon, it is where gramps actually sleeps.

"Tati? Are you all right?" he welcomed me with a worried look. "Fine." I replied without thinking but my cracked voice betrayed me. "You're lying." He chuckled. I didn't notice that he was staring at me. His gaze felt like the warm rays of sunshine. I should have known better, he can see through me, how can he not see my lies?

"You were never fine." He uttered with sadness. "I know, I will always know." He added as he looked away and smiled a worried smile. "I had stopped hoping for a better life quite a long time ago. Because I don't think it'll get better anytime soon." He said reminiscing. "All I wanted was to be happy, so I did all I could just so I can say I am finally, truly happy. I looked at him as I sat beside his bed, curiosity clouding my head.

"You were never fine." He chuckled once more as if he knew it all along. But now with all the sorrow he thought he could hide.

"I have stayed in this place far too long waiting for something good to happen. I have forgotten that good things happen to those who seek them." He pondered. "You hadn't let yourself die yet. But you are hardly living at all." My gramps has always been so vague at giving advices. But every word he speaks of somehow calms my worried mind. "You don't have to keep doing what other people ask of you." He implored as I lie my head on his lap and cried myself to sleep. "Please be happy, Tati. Seek your happiness."

I felt a tingling sensation on my left ear that I opened my eyes to see what was there. Only to realize I am surrounded by complete darkness. That's when I heard a sound, it was subtle but was undeniably pleasing, making me feel more and more comfortable with the surrounding darkness. Then I heard a voice.

"You can't keep sleeping like that Tati. You have to wake up. You have to wake up now. Please!"