The Kingdom Without Love

Chapter 4 - New Choices

Lorina ♝

My legs started to fatigue after running for a few minutes. I breathed heavily, in through my nose and out my mouth. I winced as a noticeable burning sensation prickled my throat.

Goosebumps appeared as my skin reacted to the bitter cold. But this discomfort was nothing compared to the absolute anguish I felt. I kept my gaze ahead as the pale moon glowed through the night.

I needed to stop for a rest, but my mind won't let me. I was afraid my mom would come running after me if I even took a second break. Which was quite foolish to think. My mother would never risk wasting her "precious" time fretting about me.

Droplets of tears rolled down my cheeks. I never imagined it would get to this point. I can't deny that I was still in disbelief. My body was unable to calm down. Imagine what she would've done to me if I stayed.

I have never known my mom would ever lay her hand on me until now. I can handle useless insults but I can never handle violence.

My heart suffered the most damage as I felt myself crumble. Did she even love me? Would she think she's better off without me, and that I'm just a waste to be thrown out? I wondered what was even the point of having me if you were going to treat me cruelly. My mind fell into a maze of unanswered questions.

But a part of me would rather want those questions to be unanswered, knowing the truth would hurt me even more.

Sniffles rang out from inside me. My vision became more blurry by the minute. I shook my head and used my trembling hands to wipe away my tears. Just keep pushing through Lorina. I tried my best to concentrate on pushing my legs against the ground, ignoring the slight pain I felt.

Families are supposed to love each other. Did I not deserve to feel and experience love?

I planned to run to Katherine's house and stay for the night. Katherine knew how to cheer me up. I wanted her comfort to erase the events of the night. I was desperate to feel her warm hugs and to see her smile.

Even the thought of seeing her again made me feel joyful.

Faster.

Her house was probably only 5 minutes away. This time I used my feet to dig into the ground, using the extra force to propel me further. I will be there any minute now. I looked up and I saw the tip of the house in the distance. The trees around me blurred in a daze. Small rocks and fallen tree branches tore through my rusted shoes. Just one last push.

Her cottage came to the clearing. A cobblestone path led to the house. The familiar designs of the white and black outlining, two windows with wooden shutters, and a roof made out of hay and sticks with a small chimney.

I stumbled up the path and banged on her door- hard. "Katherine! Katherine!" I shrieked, my throat was so sore and raw. My voice sounded unusually off, it didn't sound like me. It creaked like the hinges of a rusted gate.

From inside I heard loud thumps. The door opened with Katherine's confused expression on her face. Her eyebrows furrowed into a v. With one glance at my form her face turned into panic. Without a doubt, I looked like a complete disaster.

Her eyes drifted up and down at my body. "Lorina! What on earth happened?" In a flash, she was by my side. She grabbed my elbows in a hurry and walked me into the house. I limped as we walked inside, finally realizing how painful my feet felt.

She seemed to notice as she rested me on a chair.

"God, your skin is cold as ice! How long have you been outside?" She said, slightly alarmed.

My body relaxed as I welcomed the heat coming from the fireplace. The fire was fierce and ragged.

She took something out of a closet and hung it over her arm. A large knitted blanket with different patterns of black, white, and blue. All I could think about was how soft it was going to feel.

I noticed how hammering and broken rhythm my breathing was. I took deep breaths and concentrated on my breathing. I cleared my throat before I began to speak- just in case my voice sounded like a dying mouse.

"I ran away from home" I turned my head to her. "My mom has gone mad, she actually tried to harm me. If I stayed I don't know what else she would've done..." I flinched at the memory.

She unfolded the blanket and wrapped it around my shoulder. She hugged me tight, trying to calm me down. "Certainly she would've done something worse. But this was bound to happen. Your mother was never a good person. Her true colors are finally unfolding." She commented in a smooth tone.

I leaned into her hug as I nodded. God, I needed that hug. I felt real with Katherine, she was my happy place. She pulled a chair and sat down next to me.

Tonight was so surreal, I felt like I was stuck in a never-ending nightmare. "I just don't understand what I did wrong. There must be a reason why she treats me this way."

Her face suddenly turned serious, "You did nothing wrong, don't ever blame yourself." Her voice was sharp as she moved her hands on mine. "She's in the wrong, not you."

"Just why... why me?" I groaned.

She looked like she was unsure of what to say next. After some moments of silence, she responded. "You look a little sick, I'll go make us some tea."

She moved to grab a big pot and put it under the fire. "Tea is the perfect medicine." She lightly mummed to herself as she gathered tea leaves.

Her eyes gazed at me as she sat back down. "Tell me everything- from the moment you stepped foot in that house."

My focus was on my hands as I traced the texture of my skin. I didn't want to tell her that it was about the unfinished chores since that would put the blame on her. If I told her the truth she would feel guilty about it. "She sat in the kitchen and waited until I got home."

"She was angry I came home too late... I somehow 'disrespected' her and she pulled on my hair. It felt like she was about to rip my hair off." I half lied.

"Ugh. She's so terrible. It's good that you ran away."

This time I looked up at her warily, "I don't think I can go back. I mean where would I stay after all this?" I whispered. Without a home, I would have to sleep on the ground. It's dangerous out here, and the weather is harsh in the winter.

She jumped up, "you can stay with me!" The motion made the chair creak under the wood.

Surprise flowed throughout my features. Wait really? I knew I shouldn't be that surprised, it was so like her. She's always willing to help me with anything.

I was a bit skeptical. "Are you sure? I mean what about your parents?"

She flapped her hands, "Oh come on, you're my best friend. The thought of you out there- sleeping in dirt all night, will drive me mad. I'm sure my parents will agree with me too." She said cheerfully with a big smile on her face.

"Thank you so much, I-I just don't how I'm going to repay you for this." She's the best person in the world. What can I do without her?

"No need." She looked up as her attention shifted to the whistle of the tea kettle.

She opened a cabinet and grabbed a cup along with mint leaves. Slowly poured it out and placed a cup in front of me. Instinctively, I softly blew the hot cup and held it in my hand.

"So... How do you feel?"

I took a small sip out of the cup, "About what?" I questioned, too distracted while taking large sips of the tea. It's strange how my tea always tasted bland. I gulped, allowing the tea to roll down my tongue.

"About going to the palace. You must feel a little nervous."

I thought about that for a minute. I didn't feel one ounce of nervousness as I did a full-body check. No random jitters or weird fidgeting movements. I was over the moon about it. Jumpy almost— like it was meant to be.

"Hm, now that I think about it, not really. I feel like I'm ready." I said, my voice full of certainty.

"That's great. And- Oh! I almost forgot to give you something, a gift for you to remember me." She shot up from the seat and ran up the steps. I couldn't help but chuckle as I heard her stumble a bit. From upstairs, I heard loud thumps as she vigorously searched for the gift, then with a slam of the door, she came back down and held a box with two hands.

I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. I didn't have any gift for her. I could already guess what would be inside it.

"Here it is. Open it." She squealed and motioned the box toward me.

The box looked old as it was ripped on its edges, and it was decorated in white fabric. As I opened it, the most beautiful pearl bracelet I ever laid eyes on. The edges of it shined in the light. It looked so expensive, no regular peasant would own one of these.

The bracelet was unbelievably gorgeous. I found myself staring at it, mouth wide open. But it seemed to hold some importance to her. It was a prized treasure while I'm just me. To just take it made me feel impolite.

I looked at her and back at the bracket, "Katherine... I don't think I can accept this." I hesitated, a little confused about why she would give me such a valuable item.

"Yes, you will. I'm giving it to you. This bracelet was passed down to my family, but I barely wear it. I thought you would make some use of it." She insisted.

I was still unsure. She gently took the bracelet in her hands and slid it through my wrist. It was so lightweight. I heard her gasp, "It's more beautiful on you than I could ever imagine, it's perfect against your skin tone."

I shook it while just admiring it. She was right, it made a nice contrast against my tan skin. The more I looked at its pearls the more I fell in love with it. "It's lovely, but you didn't have to give me a gift." I twisted myself to her.

I'm only going away for a year. It's not like I'm going to forget her.

A warm expression appeared on her face. "I had to. You'll feel lonely in the palace. Besides, it would give you some comfort, especially on bad days." She mumbled while yawning and stretching her arms.

The palace. I always imagined it to be this magical, mysterious place that no one knows about. Even when I was younger, I dreamed about it. The thought of being away from Katherine was new to me. But I knew that going there would open a new chapter in my life.