INTO THAT DEEP SOUL

After seven months

I drag my feet on the ground. Looking at the sky. I never can really create any good story in my 29 years old living in this world. Now, it's gonna be 30. Full of drama. Life full of s**t and the toxic people. All around me. Including colleagues, friends or family members. I can never tell how it hurt me the most. There is a time I wonder how long can I survive this? How long i can handle all this stuffs? Or how long can I live for this? Even sometimes, how long my time is?

So, I take a breath and move faster. Gulping the saliva in my throat. I have issues with people. When you do nothing wrong, but yet you have to take the blame for something you never done? I'm in it not long ago. So I move to another work place. Still, I found the same exact kind of bullshit at the different area. As long as I stay working with people. I placed my stuff on the table and look at my mom on the bed since I can barely see her through the open door of our room. She's watching something on her phone. I exhale silently letting out my rage. Yes, I have problem in my work again. I used to be in a good mood until the superior came and tell me my salary or my holiday for one day will be cut off since I took off for 3 hours last month. f**k him off! No, f**k the government who create those kind of rules.

Well, I never have any problem at work before. Never. It's just some people being too busybody and some jealous. I was claiming my 6 hours off in that day. I was working extra hours in saturday. I knew I still have 3 extra hours to get the off in that day. Well, no one know we can't actually add that 6 hours with that 3 extra hours for one day. That's dumb when it's just burn just like that. It ruin my mood when I have to pay it with my salary or burn my one day holiday for this year.

I remember that day, I took that off day because I want to pack stuffs to bring back to the village and to the city the next day. My mind and body are extremely exhausted. Now that I think back about it, I feel so hopeless. I lose my salary for one day or maybe holiday, I have to work more after this, my wedding ceremony are ruined in the rainy day, and all people are soaked that day. I remember all my loans are not paid last month. Thinking is this the right path? But it seems wrong now. Where do it turns wrong? I have no idea.