Devil’s Daughter

C L O S E D D O O R S

Lorraine Lebedev

3 MONTHS LATER

His fist collided with my face, sending me to the ground so quickly my hair whipped around my face before I hit the mat.

I groaned in pain as the hard impact of my chest crushed my lungs and ribs that it became difficult to breathe for a few moments. I was frozen on the boxing ring's floor, almost dead, before I tried to push myself up. My arms wobbled, my chest rose and fell as I desperately tried to get the air back in my lungs. Sweat dripped from my forehead as it glided down my flesh.

Get the f**k up Lorraine, you are embarrassing yourself.

I managed to get to one knee before crumbling back onto the mat. My limbs are giving up on me.

I have been in training for the past 9 hours with no breaks. Simeon has been torturing me for the past 3 months and 4 weeks since I've been back.

He made me do terrible things I'd never forgive him for.

I killed dozens of people.

I skinned people alive, set them on fire, let them drowned, tortured them with weapons' I myself could barely name.

Everyday was a new task, a new way of sucking my humanity away from me.

I could not feel anything,

Sadness.

Fear.

Anger.

Happiness.

Love.

I have all forgotten what they once made me feel like. What they made me, me. The nightmares have gotten worse by the day but I managed to take medication for it which helped a little bit. Sometimes I would have a full on rest and the other nights I would be woken up by a nightmare.

I still don't know why I suddenly started having these, it started the minute I came back home which made me guess my brain might have been triggered by something which gives me nightmares.

Each time I would fail Simeon or not reach his expectations whenever I complete a task he would punish me by making me do things I can not say aloud.

"Get up Lorraine." he said to me.

I did not move, I just laid there like a road kill as if I was dead but I was, I died a long time ago. I forced my head up and saw Simeon sitting on a chair with a Cuban cigar resting at the corner of his lips. Fury burned in his eyes.

"I said get up Lorraine!"

Everyone in the room jumped in fear and pettiness over me.

With a small frustrated cry I pushed myself to my feet and threw myself onto the ropes of the ring in order to stand as Josephine rushed over to me and held on my weak body.

"Are you alright Lorraine.'' Josephine questioned worriedly as she glanced at me wide-eyed.

"Let her go and I swear to God almighty, Lorraine, if you fall again..."

"I won't" I snarled, pushing back the loose strands of my short dark hair behind my ear and forcing myself to stand up straight as I raised my fist hands and wiggle my legs a few times, trying to maintain my composure.

"See, she is fine, now start again." He proclaimed to the man twice my size, who played with my body like his personal punching bag.

"Sir, it's been 9 hours, let the girl rest." Dante whispered beside him. "I don't care if it's been 9 hours, hell we will continue for 2 days!" he snapped all eyes in the gym, was upon me with pity and on Simeon with disdain as if he were some kind of monster.

Which he was.

"EVERYONE OUT!" he called suddenly, causing them all to jump and rush to the door. Josephine looked between me and Simeon before she exited the ring.

"You can leave Vic." Simeon said to the big man, he nodded before walking out.

The gym was dim. The only source of light came from the center of the ring where I waited for him without a word. Simeon stepped inside the ring as he circled me.

He paused in front of me and blew out a puff of smoke in my air. "You are a disappointment Lorraine." he whispered. "And not just that you are embarrassing yourself and me. You are disgracing yourself in front of the very people who need to respect you the most. How old are you, nineteen, seventeen? Do you still need someone to baby you, to take care of you to f*****g save you!" he yelled in my face as I maintained eye contact, "No." I answered.

"That's not what you showed me 2 minutes ago." he snapped. "I've been doing this for the past nine hours any normal person-"

"Well you are not normal. You are f*****g Lorraine Lebadeva. My f*****g daughter and if you continue to embarrassed me and yourself in front of those people do you think they will take you seriously in the future?"

I stayed silent as I glared at him. "f*****g answer me child!" he snapped. "No." I stated calmly as I still maintained eye contact.

"Exceptional, Unstoppable, Brutal. That is what you should aim for. You're in pain? Your body aches? Guess what, that is your life child. You think those people out there helped you because they cared, because you f*****g precious? Wake up and smell the coffee they give zero f***s. They stepped in to make you weak, to drag you down their limitations, their weakness. Remember what I thought you Lorriane, a helping hand is a selfish one." I met the glower of his own blue eyes. "Do you understand?" he questioned sternly. "Yes sir."

"Good." He removed his shirt and tossed it out of the ring. "Now get into position."

I did as I was told and he punched me in the gut as we continued training.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

I did not recognize myself as I stared at my reflection.

I had bruises all over my body which will take days to heal, my nose was busted as well as my right eye. I cut my hair to shoulder length and dyed it black a month ago. If I compared my body from a year ago and now, you could see that I have lost weight and gained more muscles.

I gripped the edge of the sink as I let out a sigh. My whole body was trembling, cold beads of sweat formed on my forehead.

I'm so tired.

I lifted my gaze and stared into those blue eyes, there was no more life in them. There's a certain level of tiredness that equates to insanity; for me it's when I'd like to temporarily dislocate my spirit from my body, as if I could ask God to take me out for just a short while, let my soul go wherever souls go to be zen.

I open the cabinet above the sink and my eyes search the shelves as it stopped when I saw a pair of scissors. I grab it and tightly grip the end as I point the sharp end to my neck.

Deep breaths Lorraine you can end it now...

I slowly push the sharp end of the scissor deep into the flesh of my neck. I closed my eyes and winced at the pain as I felt warm liquid trickling down my flesh.

You are weak. The voice in my head mocked.

You will prove him right if you end it now.

You have to push Lorraine and show him, Show him Lorraine.

I let out a gasp and threw the scissors across the bathroom. I let out a cry as I slammed my fist against the mirror, it shattered into a million pieces and some glass pieces cut into my skin. I scream my lungs out, my body sags onto the cold floor. I bring my legs closer to my chest and hug myself as I allow the gentle tears to pour out of my eyes.

I am burned out. I used to believe that if you gave enough, in the end it would always be enough but I've learned that for some people, all that you are is not everything they need.

I felt so much that I started to feel nothing.

He filled me with lies, left me asking why months went by, feeling rage building inside of me. I thought he truly cared. I was completely unprepared for the damage he would cause, he took advantage of my soul, my trust, my love and left a bleeding hole. Family is supposed to be our safe place, yet it's the place where I found the deepest heartache.

My father broke my heart long before any boy had the chance to.

He chose the sweetest words to get my heart and the most poisonous actions to break it. In his own sick twisted mind he thinks that what he's doing is going to help me. That it will mould me into a better version of myself.

He knew that I did not want to be him, yet here he is...

Fine, I will give him that.

You want me to be the villain father. I will play the f*****g villain.

I will become the monster you've created.

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