The Stud Muffin and the Cupcake

4. A Dinner

A week had passed since Sierra had caught her fiancé – now ex, she supposed – having s*x with another woman.

She was still in a state of shock, but she was trying to put one foot in front of the other as best as she could. Unfortunately, her healing was slow and being made slower by Jason's refusal to leave her alone. Despite her asking him to give her space and cease all calls and texts until she contacted him, he was persisting.

Ding!

Sierra knew that noise. She had a new text message and she already knew who it would be before she looked at it, but she pulled off her gloves and dug her phone out of her bag anyway. Sure enough, it was Jason. He had gone from apologizing to begging to lecturing.

You know, it's really immature that you won't even talk to me. It's been a week. You can't avoid me forever. Just answer the phone and we can talk about things.

She put the phone down on the cleanest part of her counter she could find and sighed. It probably was time to talk to Jason, but she didn't know how to deal with this. Digging in her bag again, she found her Bluetooth earpiece and put it in her ear. Once it was secure, she dialed Zara's number, set her phone out of the flour zone, and waited for her friend to answer.

“Hey, what's up?”

“Not much, do you have a minute to talk?”

“Let me just send this report and I'll be good.” Sierra waited and listened to the clicking that drifted across the open phone line as Zara wrote the e-mail that would accompany the report they were sending. “Ok, done!”

“Great. Jason just texted me again.” A loud groan drowned out the last couple words she said.

“Why now?” Zara sounded more exasperated than Sierra had ever heard them.

“He says it's immature that I won't even talk to him.”

“He has the nerve to call you immature?! He put his d**k in another woman, maybe more than one!”

“To be fair, I only saw him eating her out, we don't know how far it went.”

“Stop defending him. She called him babe.” Sierra remembered that detail very well, and had recounted it to Zara during a tear filled rampage a few days before.

“I know.”

“Do you think it's time to sit down and talk to him?”

“I don't know.”

“On one hand, you can finally end this. On the other, are you strong enough to see him without breaking down?”

“I don't know.”

“Maybe you should think about it.”

Sierra sighed and laid down the rolling pin she was using to roll out some sugar cookie dough. Before she could answer, a small ring sounded from the storefront.

“I'll think about it, but a customer just walked in so I have to go.” The two friends quickly said their goodbyes and Sierra walked out front to take care of the customer.

Fifteen minutes later, Sierra was done taking the customer's cake order and had returned to the back. She was staring at her phone and thinking about what Zara had said.

It has been a week, maybe they're right. Maybe I should talk to him and get this over with.

Zara had asked if she was strong enough to see him and not break down and she didn't have an answer for that, but she knew one thing for certain – their relationship was over. She would never be able to trust him again and relationships without trust were doomed to fail. It probably would be better to see him and end things once and for all.

She picked up her phone and fired off a quick text.

La Bella Cucina. 7 PM.

Tucking her phone away, Sierra went back to the sugar cookies she was going to be featuring the next day. Royal icing took a long time, so she needed to focus if she was going to make it to dinner by 7.

At 6:52 PM, Sierra parked her car outside of her favorite Italian restaurant. She didn't see Jason's car yet and that filled her with satisfaction. She had wanted to be the first to arrive. Walking inside, she directed a smile at the hostess.

“Table for 2, please?”

“Certainly. Would you like to be seated now or would you like to wait for your guest?”

“Now, if that is okay.” The hostess nodded, picked up two leather bound menus, and motioned for Sierra to follow her. A moment later, she stopped beside a small table and laid the menus down. Sierra took one of the seats. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome.” The hostess walked away and Sierra was alone. She fidgeted with the edge of her sundress and nervously adjusted the sweater she'd pulled over it to fend off the chilly night air. Fall was coming and although she loved the season, she missed the comfortable warmth of the summer nights. After a minute, she picked up the menu and started glancing through it. She already knew what she would get – the pasta carbonara – but the banality of the action soothed her frayed nerves as she waited for Jason to arrive. She hadn't seen him since the night she caught him cheating on her, and she was anxious for him to get to the restaurant so they could get this over with.

Her wait was short. Jason arrived five minutes after she did, and Sierra's breath caught in her chest at the sight of him. He looked terrible – his eyes were rimmed with dark circles, as though he hadn't slept since she left, and his facial hair was an unkempt mess.

“Sierra.” The relief in his voice was palpable and she fought to keep her heart from reacting to the familiar sound of his voice.

“Hello, Jason.”

“I'm so glad you finally agreed to meet me.”

“I thought it was time.”

“There is so much I need to tell you.”

“Yeah?” Jason plopped into the seat opposite her and nodded.

“Yes, I'm so sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen.” She folded her hands in front of her, over her now closed menu, and said nothing. It was a tactic her mom had taught her years ago – say nothing and let them blabber on, that's how you get them to hang themselves. It worked every time. “You have to believe me, it was a total mistake. It was just a lapse in judgment. You were working such long hours at the bakery and I missed you so much -” She couldn't listen anymore.

“You missed me so much you had to f**k other women?!” Her voice was quiet, as she didn't want anyone to overhear, but her tone was sharp and she saw Jason wince at the violence of her language. Most importantly, he didn't correct her when she used the plural.

I knew it.

“How many were there, Jason?”

“Sierra, stop -” She cut him off with a raised hand, her heart thumping wildly against her rib cage. If he kept talking, she was going to fall for his lies and forgive him...she just knew she would.

“No. I came for information and I'm not leaving until I get what I want.” Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a list of questions she had scribbled down while getting ready for this meeting. “How many women were there?”

“I don't think this -” She cut him off again.

“Answer me.”

“There were three.” The pain flared through her chest again.

“Why?”

“You were working so much and I felt neglected. I didn't mean to hurt you.” A humorless laugh, more like a bark, escaped her lips.

“What did you think would happen, Jason?”

“I...” He grabbed his napkin and began twisting it. “I honestly didn't think you would find out.”

“Well, I did.”

“Obviously.” Jason was no longer making eye contact.

“Were they one night stands or was it longer?”

“Longer.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Since you started getting ready to open the bakery.” Sierra closed her eyes at that, willing herself not to cry.

“So you started cheating on me before you proposed.” It wasn't a question, it was a statement. She hadn't opened her eyes yet. She couldn't bear to look at the man before her. Visions of their trip to Vermont, the one where he proposed, flashed through her memories. It had been his idea – a trip to loosen her up after spending months securing funding, testing recipes, and designing the perfect storefront. Her grand opening was coming up quickly, but Jason convinced her that the trip would do her some good. When he got down on one knee amidst the gorgeous changing fall leaves, Sierra thought her heart would explode with happiness.

“Yeah.” His answer brought her back to reality.

“Why did you even bother, then?”

“Because I love you.” She shook her head.

“You don't love me.”

“I do love you! Look!” His face twisted, the most animation she had seen from Jason since he sat down. He pulled her engagement ring out of his pocket. The diamond glinted merrily in the candlelight, the flame dancing across the facets striking the gem with red and orange sparkles everywhere it touched. “I haven't put this down since you took it off. I brought it tonight in hopes that I could convince you to take it back...to take me back.” His face fell again.

Could she take Jason back? They certainly had some amazing times together and four years was a lot to throw away. Of course, by his own admission, he had been cheating on her for more than a quarter of the time they'd spend together – and how could she trust that there hadn't been others? He was a liar, obviously, and a cheater. But he was also supposed to be the love of her life. If she gave him up, was there anyone else? Would she be alone forever?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the waiter coming over. The poor gentleman looked terrified and she realized he could probably tell this wasn't a good conversation, but the lull had provided him with a chance to break into their lively argument.

“Can I get you two started with something to drink?” His tone was gentle as he looked from Jason to Sierra.

“I'll have an unsweetened iced tea.” She suddenly realized she was parched.

“I'll have a double of Johnny Walker Black, on the rocks, please.” Jason always drank when he was stressed. Sierra had always thought he overdid it a little, but she never said anything to him. After all, he was an adult.

“Sure, I'll be right back with those.” The waiter disappeared and Sierra thought he looked a little too relieved to be leaving their table. She didn't blame him, though. She wished she could leave too.

“Sierra, please. I made a mistake, just give me a chance to make it right.” Jason was quiet, his tone one of desperation and heartbreak.

“Jason...” She didn't like the way he sat forward just slightly in anticipation of her response. “No.” The anguish that crossed his face made her heart ache, like it was being squeezed in a large fist.

“Why not? It was one mistake!”

“No, it was more than once. Every time you saw one of them, it was a new mistake. You made that choice over and over again.” Now it was Sierra's turn to ramble. “You broke my trust multiple times, expecting me never to find out. How would you ever repair that?”

“I don't know, but I would work so hard at it.” She shook her head.

“No, Jason. It's gone. What we had is gone.”

“But -” He stopped and looked down at the ring, then extended it in Sierra's direction again...as though the diamond itself or the sparkle from the fire could make her change her mind and take him back.

“I don't want to be with you anymore, Jason. This was not a reconciliation attempt.” The waited returned with their drinks and set them down. Jason drained his in a heartbeat, while Sierra took a small sip of her tea and continued. “I'm only here so we can give our relationship a proper end. When I walk out of here, I never want to see or hear from you again. I just want peace.

You at least owe me that much.”